DS is 15 and undergoing assessment for SEN/ADHD/not sure.
He is very unhappy at school and has been for a long time. He has problems with focus and concentration, says he doesn't want to learn anything (I think because it all involves writing it down and he isn't good at this).
He was having private maths lessons for 3 months last winter and his tutor gave up, saying he couldn't teach DS anything - he just didn't retain it.
He doesn't really have any friends and is ostracised for being a loner/difficult.
I have talked to the local college and they won't take him until he either fails his GCSEs or gets thrown out of school for bad behaviour. He isn't badly behaved and all his teachers like him. He thinks he is disliked by everyone at school mainly for his strange behavioural tics.
Sorry for the uncoordinated posting, I just need to know what the heck to DO?
I haven't bought him new shoes for school as I was hoping that he wouldn't end up going back - now I know the college can't take him, I'm not sure.
I would home ed him if I could but I'm a lone parent and self employed - it would put me out of business and it would be hard to pick up again at my age after a year out.
Apart from that I tutored him through one GCSE in English last term and it was so hard. Like picking up soup with a fork.
Any suggestions?
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Help - 15yo DS curled up crying saying he doesn't want to go to school on Thurs
CuttedUpPear · 04/09/2012 22:34
What a shame for your son 
Is there another secondary you can move him to locally?
From what you describe he does sound like he may have some SEN. My son is similar in a way... He is dyspraxic, with poor fine motor skills/ writing, dyscalculic, struggles to retain maths and just doesn't seem to get it and has quite a
few ticks, most obviously hand flapping.
Who is assessing your son? Gp or school? if its the school you need to be on their backs constantly
Feel free to ask any question and I'll see if I can help.
X posts 
Ok, you are going to have to chase then then to speed things up and get a diagnosis. You need to speak to both the gp and the school about your sons unhappiness/state of mind. You might heed to get a bit bolshy because it's just not on that he is left with no support.
I can't type on this phone so I'll be back in the Morning
Oh Cutted, I'm sorry things are so bad for you and your son.
I empathise. I was also a self-employed lone parent when my son had his worst years in school. That meant I could cope with the occasional exclusions and frequent calls from school without losing a job, but I was always aware of the threat to my business. I had to give up a contract once, and that was a very bad experience for me. You do what you have to do, don't you; but sometimes the stress is hard to bear.
With hindsight, I think my son was quite damaged by his school experience. He under-achieved, but that was the least of it... His self-esteem is very low. He became more challenging. He started using drugs. He learned to expect to be in trouble all the time, and to tolerate being very bored. He is bright - well above average - but believes he is stupid. He is terribly afraid of trying. Today, he should have enrolled in college, and nearly did... but lost his nerve half an hour before we were due to go, and spent the afternoon face-down on his bed instead. Currently, he says he will get a job, but we have no idea what the future holds... As of today, he is a 'NEET', and I am trying not to panic.
If I had the time again, I'm not sure what I would/could have done differently. I did consider home educating him, but ruled it out for personality reasons. I find him so challenging that I need(ed) school as a break from him.
But your circumstances sound different. You don't sound like you find spending time with your son challenging or confrontational. I think, if I had been in your shoes, I probably would have withdrawn my son from school. If I had similar problems with DS2, who is very self-motivated and whom I find much 'easier', I would do it now...
Home educating at 15 is not at all like doing it at 5 - your son has already learned (almost?) everything the national curriculum says he must learn, and you will have a great deal of flexibility. He can be very self-directed. He can do his own chosen projects and activities. If he co-operates, you can plan his learning together, but he can do most of it by himself, leaving you free to work...
With home learning, all sorts of things 'count' that wouldn't in school: cooking lunch is a 'learning experience'; so is listening to a concert on the radio, or a podcast; so is planting and growing things; so is fixing and making anything; so is internet research; so is following any interest or hobby or even obsession... There is nothing to say he must do GCSEs, now or ever.
There is a strong home ed network in the UK. If you haven't already, you could get in touch with someone and have a chat to find out more. I have a couple of friends who have home educated teens, and if you'd like to PM me, I can find out a bitmore on your behalf, and perhaps get some contacts for you.
Sorry if you know all this already 
but maybe some of it will help!
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School sound awful
Have to dash, so this may be completely inappropriate (haven't read thread) but interhigh? (have a google - it's an Internet school). If he's old enough to be left while you work.
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