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Teenagers

Exploitation of Teenager

2 replies

Pomegranate · 22/08/2012 11:33

Desperately in need of help.

My daughter who will be 17 in a few days' time, unfortunately, will not listen to us.

She has been in a relationship with a 19 year old, and unfortunately, in this time, he has physically assaulted him 3 times, smashed her things, stolen money, phones etc. from her. She has a part-time job, and the vast majority of it, she was giving it to him, as he wanting her money.

THe latest incident that he assaulted, the police were called , and he has bail conditions, that he cannot go near her etc., Unfortunately, she somehow engineered a meeting to see him last week, and, when i found out, i hit the roof and contacted the police. (Who did advise me to contact them, he approaches her etc). I honestly thought the police would arrest her, as she was been warned about speaking to him, they arrested him again, and again, he has bail conditions.

Unfortunately, she told me loads of things which unfortunately, has made my stomach turn. It seems that she is being sexually exploited by him as well. He calls her vile disgusting names, like prostitute, slag, whore, white trash (my daughter is mixed race), and the dynamics of the "relationship" has been that unfortunately, she has allowed to be used in this way. She has told me the only reason why he has done all these things, is because of her colour, and he wouldn't dream of doing that to girls of his ethnicity.

He only uses her for sex, money etc., and stupidly she is going along with this. According to her friend, he tells all his mates the finer details of their relationship. And, unfortunately, she gets called slag all the time.

Also, she has stolen from me, my other daughter and goodness knows what else.

The police have been brilliant, i just don't know what to do.

WHen the latest incident happened, we got threatening phone calls, from his cousins, saying they were going to petrol bomb our house, my car, and were going to kill my daughter.

I have 4 other children, and we are beyond devasted, and i feel so suicidial.

We would never throw her out, because if we did, good chance that he wouldn't see her alive after that.

Any advice would be gratefully appreicated, I am so angry with her, she knows she is loved, has a loving family, she even tells people she couldn't get better parents than us, we try so hard to help her.But, we get nowhere with her. We have no family help, and no friends that could help us.

Even though, he swears at her, etc., she stills goes back to him.

Please help

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Ruthchan · 22/08/2012 12:35

What an awful situation.
No, you are right, you must never throw your daughter out. She is the victim, not the one at fault.
She keeps going back to him. That is a cycle which needs to be broken.

Have you tried to get her any counselling?
Do you think she would accept it?
She obviously won't listen to you, but do you think someone professional would be able to make her see her mistake?
Somehow she needs to realise what a dreadful situation she is in and that, more importantly, she has the power to stop it all.

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Pomegranate · 22/08/2012 13:39

Ruthchan

Yes, she does see a counseller, who has been absolutely brilliant with her, but, unfortunately, my daughter is extremely stubborn, and chooses to go back to him.

At the end of the day, the counsellor, cannot stop her from seeing him, just her.

I have so much hatred for this individual, he has destoryed so much of my family, i remember my daughter so beautiful and happy, but now, her personality has changed, and i don't recognise her anymore.

The police have warned her that her life could potentially be at risk, she hears but doesn't listen.

Unfortunately, a lot of this has to do with racism, he just sees her as a piece of meat, and, he wouldn't do that a girl of his own ethnicity.

He taunts her because we don't have any family members that could "go after him", and takes great delight in that.

I just don't see a happy ending in this, i think he will leave her potentially scarred for life, or he will take her life, or get somebody else to do it. i am totally powerless to stop it, and it is killing me up inside.

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