Two children born 15 years apart

[kangeroo]

I'm pregnant with our second child and our first is 15 - will be just turning 16 when no 2 comes along! Any tips on the advantages of this, or how to cope with any difficulties, please? Our first is a daughter and she loves small children, so I think she will be a lovely big sis, also pos no sibling rivalry as they are so different in age and a ready made baby sitter. I'd be glad of any advice as to how to make the best of the situation, thanks.

[theredhen]

Aw, this is lovely, congratulations. I am feeling really broody at the moment - I have a 14 year old DS.

I don't think you will get the traditional fighting bond that you would get with siblings close in age, but I suspect your DD will end up being a bit like an Auntie to your youngest. I think it's still important to make time for your eldest though, she has been used to your sole attention for a long time, it might be a bit of a shock when she realises that cute little sibling means less time for her.

Having seen friends with large age gaps between their children, there is often the cries of the youngest has more time, money spent on them, than the eldest did and some of that is inevitable as you are older and wiser and possibly richer too!

I think having a large age gap means you get the benefits of having only children, whilst also having two children to be around when you are older.

[SecretSquirrels]

I imagine they will be more like Aunt and Niece or Nephew.

A lifetime as an only child and centre of parental attention means I wouldn't discount sibling rivalry. Depends how mature your DD is. Has she passed the hormonal strop / world revolves around me stage?

[MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay]

I was 15.5 when my (only) brother was born.

It was fantastic! I adored him from the second I saw him and became his second mother..and he adored me:) I would take him out all the time (I think people assumed he was mine to be honest!)

We have remained very close.. he's 28 now and closer in age to my own eldest child.. he became an uncle when he was 8 and he loves my kids and they love him dearly like an older brother.

It will be lovely for your daughter..the fun of a baby without the responsibility.. and I know I never felt neglected or pushed out.. just delighted with him.

Congratulations.. I swear it's the best age gap

[musicposy]

Congratulations!

I was 11 when my brother was born, not quite as old, but at secondary school and a long way removed in age.

I was more like an auntie and did loads to help my mum. I never felt any rivalry at all, not once the whole time he was growing up, unlike with my sister with a 4 year gap. I absolutely loved it when he was born. It was like being able to play mum, but with none of the horrible bits!

However, I never really had quite the same sibling bond, either. I'm not saying that's bad, just that the relationship was different. When I look back at my childhood, I think of just me and sis. And nowadays I probably am closer to my sister who I fought with all those years!

Overall, I think it will be great and you'll have loads of happy times ahead I'd love to be in your shoes :)

[nizlopi]

My older sister is 15 years older than me. Growing up, I always saw her as my 'sister' but I suppose our relationship is more like Auntie/Niece, when I think about it.

Saying that, I love her so much, and I still speak to her at least once a week. It is a different relationship to the one I have with my sister who is much closer in age to me, but still one I really value.

[notnowImreading]

One of the girls in my year 11 class has a newborn baby brother. She is exhausted from the crying at night and can't concentrate in lesson; she adores the baby and is happy, but is totally knackered. It is likely to impact her GCSEs if he doesn't settle soon. So, from that point of view, is there anything you can do to sound proof your dd's room? Congratulations btw.

[kangeroo]

Good tip about the GCSEs thanks - I need to think about that. Yes will make sure plenty of one on one time with DD after baby arrives. Very easy to get carried away with the new baby. I was thinking of having daughter as birth partner but lovely if everything goes well and scary for her if anything goes wrong. She is mature and sensible. DH will also be there. Any views on that?
thank you for all the advice! I can't wait!

[treesonfire]

There's a 13 year age gap between me and my brother. By the time I was aware of him, he had a girlfriend (my sister in law) and I recall there being quite a bit of jealously between us which neither my parents or brother dealt with very well.

Whilst my brother and I acknowledge each other as siblings, I think we each act like an only child. We have very little in common as we are different generations and our lives have been quite different. (He married his first girlfriend and I errrr looked around a bit more ). This doesn't mean we don't like each other; we just don't know each other very well.

Perhaps the best thing about having a much older brother was that he had children (my niece and nephew). I used to adore them when I was a teenager (and still do).

I believe that as your eldest is a girl your children may be closer, but I'd advise that you be aware of the possible jealously factor when your elder daughter brings a boyfriend home.