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Step daughter accused step-father of sex abuse

(26 Posts)
cinderella1 Sun 05-Feb-12 13:36:30

My step-daughter, 14 1/2, moved in with us 3 months ago and has cut off any contact with her mother and step dad. To cut a long story short, I caught her trying to sneak to a party to which she was not allowed to go (first time every my DH has said no to her, but to be fair she's never asked us before), since we knew by monitoring her text (without her knowledge, of course) that it was likelly to involve sex and drinking. After confronting her and a very long and emotional talk in which I threatened to get the police involved (as you dosmile she said that her step dad has abused her since she was very young (he's been living with her mum since she was 7yrs old). I said I believed her, but she must be aware that I'd have to tell my DH, the police, so on, since the accusation is very serious. I got my step-son (24yrs old) to speak to her, just to give her a way out if she'd decided to change her story, but she maintained the accusation throughout talks with him and my DH. We said she can have the night to think about it, before we get the police involved the next day. They came yesterday and after a talk with her, they said they believe and will proceed in the next couple of days with taking a video statement. I'm probably the person most inclined to believe her, but when I tried to talk again to her today - not to pry, just to explained what will happen next and have her prepared, she seemed very detached, unemotional, etc especially when I mentioned that he'll be going hopefully to prison. I don't know whether I hope for her own sake that it's not true (which would make her a very disturbed patological lier) or that it is, and she'll finally get a chance to deal with it. She said she mentioned it to a couple of her friends... Would it be a really bad idea if I tried to talk to them and find out what they know?

smearedinfood Wed 19-Dec-12 20:55:19

Well said ratbag. I remember my Mum not believing me when I told her, part of me still hasn't quite forgiven her.

The sexting maybe because she's started to put too much emphasis on her sexuality as her worth.

Let her know she's intelligent, has good reasoning, is funny.. artistic etc to build up her self esteem..

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