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DD doesn't want to do PE when she has her period

(48 Posts)
Frances777 Thu 19-Jan-12 10:34:50

A few months ago, DD's 'pad' leaked during PE, and she got blood all over her shorts. Since then, she has pleaded with me to write her a sick note to get her out of PE when she has her period. She has been so upset, almost hysterical, that I have reluctantly done so for the last 2 months, making up different excuses (pulled a muscle/ recovering from a bad cold), but I can't really keep doing this. So, I wondered whether anyone had experienced this, and had any advice.
TIA

purplecupcake Thu 19-Jan-12 11:18:19

i went through the same thing .. i cant count the amount of pulled muscles DD has had. I have no idea how or why she just stopped asking for notes.. She ended up with the award for best achiever in PE at the end of year 10. Sorry its not much help to you though.

Hopefully she will gain her confidence back soon , maybe have a word with her PE teacher and work together on a solution smile

SebastionTheCrab Thu 19-Jan-12 12:27:57

Does she have very heavy periods? Or was it just a case of bad luck with her pad leaking?
I don't think it's an unreasonable request to sit out P.E when your period is gushing like Niagara Falls. smile and I would put that reason in the letter.
If it was just unfortunate then make sure on P.E days she takes an extra-absorbant pad and advise her to change her pad right before P.E and straight after.

Mrsrobertduvall Thu 19-Jan-12 12:40:42

Dd is doing gcse pe and has very heavy periods....we are at the dr's tomorrow to discuss them as she can wear 3 heavy duty pads and still leak within the hour.
When it's period time she wears tracksuit bottoms rather than leggings, which she normally wears. She is going to try tampons, which should be intersting smile
she is going to have to do pe eventually...could you have a word with teacher and just make them aware?

EdithWeston Thu 19-Jan-12 12:50:09

Was the leak a one-off, or is does it still happen often?

Frances777 Thu 19-Jan-12 13:23:16

Thanks for your advice everyone.
Her periods can be quite heavy/ suddenly flood, but I think the main problem is her confidence has taken a knock. I think I will try to discuss things with her in advance (rather than deciding what to do in the morning when she is in a state) and hope things settle down in the next couple of months.
I'm reluctant to talk to her PE teacher, because if she is unsympathetic I will have drawn attention to my DD (and my fake sick notes).

EdithWeston Thu 19-Jan-12 13:32:13

It's a pity about the attitude of the PE teacher. I flooded once at school, and the PE teacher was matter of fact (she let me sit out, with a brisk "yes, this happens sometimes", which was actually rather helpful).

It won't help your DD in the long run to avoid activities because of periods, but I can quite see why she isn't feeling confident. I think you need to tell her that no more excuses will be made, but then be on her side in terms of helping her plan to deal with variable flow without risk of leaks. (Including perhaps role-playing how to ask discreetly to go to the loo at odd times).

NatashaBee Thu 19-Jan-12 13:36:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrispLeCrisp Thu 19-Jan-12 13:39:37

COuld she try tampons? - With trying tampons, try the Tampax Crystal - they are a very soft rounded plastic applicator and try and get her to relax.

I did masses of sport as a teenager and hated the 'brick in my knickers' thing. Went to tampons very early on and never looked back. I hope she finds a workable solution rather than evasion smile

Bonsoir Thu 19-Jan-12 13:42:02

Why doesn't your DD use tampons, OP? I would have thought that the first solution to try would be tampons, as they don't restrict movement in the way pads do.

I also think that some girls/women have severely reduced energy during their periods (I do) and that doing sport is pretty unrealistic. How does your DD feel during her period, apart from the fear of leaking?

saladfingers Thu 19-Jan-12 14:08:15

Your poor DD.I can understand why her confidence has taken a knock.
My DD(13) hasn't started yet. Obviously she'll use pads initially but i was wondering about when to introduce tampons and how? Does anyone have any advice?
How old is DD? would tampons be an option?

Tortington Thu 19-Jan-12 14:10:44

i haven;t experienced this, but i dont think PE is important. I detested PE in secondary school and so can fully empathise.

i certainly wouldnt make an issue out of it - if she doesn't want to do it fair enough imo

accidentprawn Sat 21-Jan-12 08:30:36

op, i do the same with my dd, she is very heavy and floods when when doing pe.
in the last 3 months alone she must have had about 6 pulled muscles and 12 bad colds and diarrhea!

ArseWormsWithoutSatNav Sat 21-Jan-12 08:33:16

I have heavy periods and tampons really help. I wish I'd been allowed them as a younger teen! They are much less restrictive.

She should see a GP too, if they are very bad.

ArseWormsWithoutSatNav Sat 21-Jan-12 08:34:16

Also did anyone notice the leak? Surely if the teacher did they could've been sympathetic and realised this is a problem?

Maryz Sat 21-Jan-12 09:57:44

After a couple of months, the teacher must know. I'm pretty sure that dd's pe teacher (and the school nurse) keep a record of "injuries" and excuses amongst the girls and keep a rough track to see how much pe avoidance is period related. dd had a genuine sore knee last week and I got a phone call from the school nurse to see was she ok as she had missed a hockey session exactly a month ago.

I think they (in dd's school anyway) genuinely care about the girls, and if approached will want to help.

dd is 15 and has been using tampons as well as a pad for pe for the last two years. They also wear navy tracksuits (and on period days she wears shorts under her tracksuit) so leaks wouldn't be noticed, and pe is done separately from the boys. They are encouraged to swim during their periods as well, and it is a subject that is talked about so they realise that all the girls go through the same worries and embarrassment.

I think it is important that they learn to (if possible) carry on as much as normal when they have periods, because there are few jobs that would give them two days off a month, and they may have important exams they would have to go to etc.

I don't like the idea of them feeling "it's my period, I can't do anything" because unfortunately periods are a fact of life and they will, eventually, have to learn to cope.

slartybartfast Sat 21-Jan-12 10:02:22

how about the honest reason for missing pe.
heavy periods?
your poor dd. if she often leaks and/or is heavy then pe would be a worry for her.

FreckledLeopard Sat 21-Jan-12 10:02:36

I used tampons from the first day of my first period when I was 12. Can't bear pads. Can you give your DD a load of different tampons and she can see what type she gets on best with?

slartybartfast Sat 21-Jan-12 10:03:14

it must be a very common problem op.

Maryz Sat 21-Jan-12 10:08:14

Oh, I meant to add.

dd now (having talked about it with her house mistress and the school nurse) has an arrangement where she goes to the nurse two hours before pe or sport on the first couple of days of her period and gets Feminax, which makes a huge difference and has meant that she now feels a lot more positive.

I don't think lying about it helps, sadly, though I accept it is tempting.

slartybartfast Sat 21-Jan-12 10:13:43

we used to have communal showers after pe at school, unless we were having a period, so we had to have a note to say so. there was even a shower book. shock with various P's marked out, in red, no doubt, so they could double check presumably. and perhaps also to check that your periods were regular and liaise if there were problems, i dunno

Theas18 Sat 21-Jan-12 10:20:50

Agree with maryz common problem. Annoying but you need to learn to work round it whilst your are young and still " learning to be a grown up" .

My Dds school are happy to have notes for swimming but apart from that there is a culture of get on with life. The girls aren't, it seems over embarrassed either - maybe that's just my 2 or maybe it's a girls school thing I don't know. I guess leaky periods are just not that rare.

Try tampon plus towel if she'd like or get yourself to the GP with her if her periods really are the painful/ draining/flooding sort. Teen periods especially before they have a regular cycle can be terrible. There is not reason to be martyred by them though. Mefenemic acid is good, but there are other Meds for pain and bleeding. The pill can be used even in young girls to control periods - also ( and not many gps might be aware) current recommended practice is that if periods are awful you might try using it continuously till a convenient time to have a period ( so if at school stop for a period at half term).

When she's older she's not going to be able to not work etc because she has a period and kind of by approving it as a long term avoidance tactic you aren't helping her. That's not to say a couple of periods where she doesn't do PE whilst shes sorting her choices out -trying medication / tampons etc isnt absolutely fine, but make sure that she is " sorted" and gets her confidence back.

Btw in case you/ she are worried there is no reason on earth for your p to examine her to treat heavy periods as a teen. Grown ups yes. Kids no.

gingeroots Sat 21-Jan-12 10:26:03

Just to say that teen periods can be worse/more unpredictable and that as you get older they settle a bit .
Also ,as a flooder myself I never found tampons very helpful ,tampons + pads maybe ,but if you've got to use pads ( I always used 2 ) then I felt you may as well not use tampons .
But we're all different I know .

Acanthus Sat 21-Jan-12 10:31:20

How do you use more than one pad? I've always wondered. If you put one on top if the other, doesn't the plastic lining stop the flow getting through to the one underneath?

TeamDamon Sat 21-Jan-12 10:36:55

maryz says very sensible things.

Periods are a fact of life and girls need to learn how to live with them in a way which minimises their impact on everyday life. I am a teacher and take DofE expeditions, and we have very matter-of-fact talks with the students - and yes, there are boys in the room at the time - about how to manage periods when out on the hills and possibly even wild camping.

I think the more matter of fact we are about periods, the healthier it is for girls and boys. It doesn't help to avoid things although I appreciate that your DD was embarrassed at the time.

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