how can I help my son deal with stress?

[TrottersIndependantTrading]

Hi, my son is 12 and a half and seems to be getting very stressed out about small things, he told me today that when a teacher gives them homework he feels angry and stressed for a long while after. He also slams around the house eg this evening he was getting stressed out as he had left something upstairs, he then got in a tiz,wailing and growling (I thought it was the cat at first) as he could not draw a picture well enough (by his own standard)

does anyone know of any strategies he could use? i am bipolar myself so stress is not something i deal with terribly well. the idea's i have given him that help me (long bath,exercise) do not appeal to him

[SecretSquirrels]

Is it a new thing?
I ask because my DS1 went through a phase of tears and histrionics when he was 11. Quite unlike his normal placid self. It turned out he was on the brink of puberty and it all stopped again after a (weepy) year.

[Ingles2]

I've got a just turned 12, who is exactly the same at the moment...he's tired, stroppy and cries at the slightest thing.
We were all having dinner together, when Ds1 went off in a hormonal strop.
We all sat in silence for minute, until ds2 piped up with... "that's puberty mum. it said so in the film we watched"
In the mean time, I'm trying to be very patient, making sure he's in bed early and offering lots of cuddles which are either refused with a sneer or gratefully accepted.. you have my sympathies

[TrottersIndependantTrading]

hi thanks for your replies, yes it is a fairly recent thing although he has always had a 'short fuse' Its a relief to know he is not the only one. Its so hard to see him feeling so upset and angry at the smallest things. I have been making sure I spend plenty of time with him and we have regular chats about life and he does seem to be having a hard time of it at the moment. I think i will have another little chat to him about puberty and hormones and how they can affect mood.

[eatyourveg]

Have you thought of a stress ball - something he can keep in his pocket and squeeze as hard as he can when needed.

I gave one of my dc a spiral notebook which he used like a diary. It was a how I'm feeling book and when he needed to vent he wrote stuff down. Another of the dc found the punch bag I bought them really useful as not only did he get rid of his aggression but he saw it as helping him to build muscles too. The third dc took it out on the drums but that's not for the faint-hearted!

As for the getting stressed at seemingly little things my advice would be to avoid busy days and stick to a simple routine. If the pace of life is slower it gives him more time to collect his thoughts together and get things organised the way he wants them to be.

Most importantly I would emphasise that it is OK to get angry and kick off but as far as possible he needs to be able to channel it appropriately.