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End of our tether

(5 Posts)
ckwg Thu 20-Oct-11 07:17:37

Me and my husband are literally at the end of our tether with our 17 year old son.
We have and trust issues because of lying and stelaing for over a year but reading this that seems quite common although we dont condone it and punishments were made.
He has had a serious GF for about 15months which we know is obviously an intense experience at his age, but everything is now compunded and escalating to a point where we dont know what to do.
His relationship is coming to a close(we can see this he cant or wont) but his only focus is his gf, he has just had to leave college for non attendance although he is inteligent which all his teachers keep telling him.
He has no money and smokes but cannot get any motivation to earn any which has meant stealing things again.
We thought college making this decision might have wake up but I dont think it has because even last night all he was interested in was her texts facebook posts etc.
We are struggling to punish him to the extent he deserves as he is in such a mess with his gf we actually came home from a night away after only one hour as she had 'dumped' him again(only to be back next day) and he was in an absolute state, the doctor has now prescribed anti depresants for him which really upsets me.

He smokes which we hate but wont admit its a problem but this is obviously why he needs to take things that dont belong to him, he thinks we are the problem for getting on at him all the time.

Sorry for rambling but I am so worried and it is the only thing we talk about as it is at the forefront of our family life and spoiling our family life.

ckwg Thu 20-Oct-11 07:37:45

I have just read a few other posts including the posta about asking 18 year old to leave, our son is also agresiive and horrible when confronted and has admitted tosmoking weed athough i dont tink regularly,
We asked him if he would prefer to live somewhere else if he couldnt live within our family rules and he says he did but given his depression we are reluctant to take him up on this and it would be a last resort, but my sympathies with the other posters who are in same boat, it is nice to know that we arnt alone.
It is just the worry of him being so down and unfocused that really worries us

GypsyMoth Thu 20-Oct-11 07:40:34

Where does he get his money for phone credit/weed/cigarettes?

I would ( have) cut that back for a start

ckwg Thu 20-Oct-11 09:07:27

He worked for 5 months so had his own money and since we found out whats going on we dont give him anything which is obviously whats started the stealing

Witco Fri 21-Oct-11 18:39:00

It's so tough to withold money if you think he's just going to steal to buys cigs, weed, whatever. I have no solutions I'm afraid but you have my sympathies.

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