18th birthday trip for mates - what do you think it's reasonable that guests pay?

[MirandaGoshawk]

DD wants to take three friends for a spa weekend (one night) in Bath for her 18th. Hotels seem to be v. expensive that weekend so I've booked a 4-bedded room in the Youth Hostel at £89, plus £5 each for breakfast. Also entry to the spa (pools, hot tub) which is £25 each IIRC. So I'm paying £190. (I don't want to go too mad as I have twins and also want to get her a piece of jewellery.)

So far, the guests have only been told they'll have to pay for their rail tickets. (Maybe £20 or so, not sure). They will also have to pay for nightclub. So I'm not sure if I ought to pay for meals and/or drinks as well. Also actual treatments at the spa start at £38 pp.

So, my question, if your DD was a guest, how much would you expect to have to pay, and what would you expect the parent to pay for?

[mumblechum1]

I think you're already being quite generous, but if it were me, I'd also pay a fixed amount towards an evening meal, somewhere cheap like Zizzis. So essentially give say £100 to your dd and say anything over that on the bill should be split between the four of them. Often Zizzis, Pizza Express etc have 2 for 1 deals on so the excess shouldn't be too much.

[SecretSquirrels]

Agree with cat it's a bit late after you've booked. It's a bit of a minefield I think and you need to make it crystal clear before they go as to who pays for what or you may find some of them don't take enough money or your DD ends up with a bill.

[squareegg]

Hmm DD went to a friends Spa 18th, everything was paid for except for the night out while they were there. Do they get any treatments at the spa as £38 is very expensive! If not then £25 just to sit in a pool all day sounds a total rip off to me... tight northerner
A treatment, plus £20 travel, plus night out, plus food is a lot for an 18year old. I'd do as mumble says and find a voucher for a cheap meal and give them enough to cover food, they can pay for the drinks. Do they get lunch at the spa as if not it sounds like it wouldn't be cheap.
Totally understand why you don't want to pay too much but it's not fair to leave young girls (or their unwilling parents) to fork out loads.

I think dd did go one 18th abroad where they bought the flights (£20 easyjet ones), the parents paid for the hostel and a meal and they funded everything else. However the flights were booked loads in advance so it spread the cost. How far away is this event? As if you get them to book trains now then they'll have time to save up for anything else.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Thanks peeps. I've paid rock bottom for the hotel so will cough up for the meal - two for one on pizzas is a good idea. And the 'sitting around in the pool' is not all day, it's for two hours!

An alternative is just to go to an ordinary beauty place for a facial or manicure, but they are about the same price and you don't really get the 'spa experience' have a look Looking at the website, you do get massage jets, steam room etc. (Wish I was going!)

I am very keen that the other friends and their parents don't get a feeling that they are being ripped off.

[mumblechum1]

I think it will be lovely for them.

And if you think what you'd be paying for a party, you'll be able to persuade yourself that it's a bargain

[cory]

What squareegg said. My dd wouldn't feel able to pay for somebody else's birthday party (beyond a cheap present) and would feel quite unhappy about having to explain why she couldn't attend, but perhaps your dd has wealthy friends.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Dunno about wealthy friends - friends with parents who are a soft touch, I think

They went camping in the summer for three nights, also a trip to Centre Parks has been arranged for someone else's birthday in Feb. It seemed reasonable for me to help out so that she could go. It's not every day they're 18, is it?