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Have I done the right thing?

(6 Posts)
mumsamilitant Fri 07-Oct-11 15:01:32

Will keep this brief first off.

DS nearly 14 was friendly with a boy that seems to be going down the wrong path (will explain more if you want)

After much deliberation I told DS that he could see the boy at school but due to the boys behaviour he wasn't allowed to see him outside.

The boy has now been sent to The Bridge (a unit for children with behaviour problems) so no longer at DS's school.

This was a few months ago now.

DS has been in contact with boy on the phone during this time. When I got in from work yesterday DS told me he went to get a drink from Starbucks and met the boy on the way (they probably spent an hour or so together).

I know my son misses this kid. I am thinking that he will probably start to tell fibs and meet up with him.

So, rather than have this happen I have said that ok, he can spend time with the boy but at our house only. He can also see him if they plan to do "something" together rather than hanging out.

DS isn't allowed to hang round streets without a purpose anyway. It's going from A to B or at a friends.

Have a very large knott in my stomach about it though.

DS luckily isn't around much over the weekends as goes to Cadets on a Friday evening and all day Sunday. He also gets dropped to girlfriends most Saturdays and picked up.

So I'm sort of hoping that by not making it into a "forbidden fruit" type of situation anymore and DS not being around much, it will fizzle out of its own accord.

What have others done?

I live in London by the way.

SecretSquirrels Fri 07-Oct-11 15:33:44

No experience of "unsuitable " friends but I think I would have done exactly the same as you.
If he does then bring this boy home then at least you will have chance to get to know him and assess his influence on your son?

TheLIttlestNarwhal Fri 07-Oct-11 16:29:53

I think you are doing the right thing, this way you can keep an eye on the friendship and be sure that your ds is not being influenced by his friend.

Sounds like your ds has a busy social life anyway with Cadets so the friendship may well just fade away.

mumsamilitant Fri 07-Oct-11 21:02:47

Fingers crossed.

noteventhebestdrummer Sat 08-Oct-11 08:29:12

I think you sound great! And very wise. In getting to know his friend you might also be a real force for good in HIS life as well which is great - not all kids are lucky enough to have a lovely mum like you.

ahhhhhh Sat 08-Oct-11 08:46:32

I think you have dealt with it very well. DS clearly has other interests in his life and he could be a good influence on the other boy. Good luck.

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