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totally selfish ,aggressive ds1

(3 Posts)
longlashes Tue 06-Sep-11 14:35:09

My ds1 is coming up to 18. He used to be a lovely boy. Always loving, good sense of humour, quite bright although hopefully disorganised and always late. He did a year of a levels at sixth form, absolutely hated it and left after a year. He has just started a btech at a different college. I really supported him and helped him find something new.
Ds2 is a year younger and has just started college. He is not to keen but that is another story. He has worked on a mates site all summer labouring and earning money so is reluctant to stop, although it would only last a couple of months.
Ds 1 and ds2 now attend the same college and need to get the bus at the same time. Ds1 takes ages in the shower and makes everyone late. He gets in at a certain time and regardless of anyone else, takes his time. He likes to have his coffee first and then get in. Ds 2 gets up jumps in and is out the door. I just asked ds1 to start getting in the shower 10 mins early and as ds2 now needs to get in. Well you woudn't believe the reaction. He went into meltdown, slamming doors shouting ' I hate you you always piss me off. Why should I change my routine '. He went mental and said all f**k off. I just quietly explained with out shouting that he has to think off others and that he gets in first because he is always late anyway and that he has to consider others. He was very aggressive back and already I know he will be an arse in the morning. Dh is away working and I have to get in to work tomorrow. Ds has turned into a horrible selfish person. This is just one example of his aggressiveness and moods. He has absolutely no thought for anyone but himself anymore. I feel like walking out the door and not coming back. He thinks the world owes him a living and I really don't like him anymore he has had me in tears so many times , tho he doesnt know it. I am at my wits end. Sorry to moan so much.

Butterflybows Tue 06-Sep-11 18:27:01

It's horrible isn't it? I have a 13 year old who is vile.

What's he like most of the time?

longlashes Tue 06-Sep-11 18:42:11

He can be lovely. he bought me earrings for mothers day the last two years, chose them himself. He has calmed down a bit now but ds2 came in an hour ago and he kicked off saying he doesnt want to go to college just wants to work. The job he has been doing is temporary just a few weeks left. I have had both of them at it and I have reacted calmly and reasonably. ds1 actually tried to calm ds2 down. I have decided to step back . Ds2 told me hes not going to college tomorrow as he has nothing to wear. We said they could both have £200 clothes to go to college but he just cant be bothered to look for them so he can go without. I am going to work tomorrow and they can just get on with it. I left home at 17 was horrible teenager tho have had a fantastic relationship with my mum since I have grown up. I lost my dad 3 years ago and my dh works on the oil rigs for 3 weeks at a time so they dont have that much male influence. One day they will realise how much I have done for them and deep down I love them both dearly but I feel like I could crack under the stress of them. Ds2 has gone out and probably wont answer his phone. I am not going to even try to call him, he needs to start thinking for himself. If its not one of them its the other and I have finally had enough.

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