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16 year old daughter thinks she is a lesbian.

(10 Posts)
galiciangirl Fri 02-Sep-11 00:46:19

My 16 year old daughter has told me that she is gay. In some way I was pleased that she was able to tell me but on the other hand it's not really what I wanted to hear. She has had a boyfriend and that relationship lasted about 6 months. She is quite young for her age and it is something I have encouraged as you are only young for a short time in life. She can be quite influenced by other people that she meets and I am not sure if she is confusing admiration with other feelings. I really don't know what to say or how to advise her and would really appreciate any advice anyone else may have. Thank you.

LeBOF Fri 02-Sep-11 00:50:41

I don't think you need to advise her at all, really, just be accepting of her as she is, and let her find her own way while knowing you love her no matter what.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Fri 02-Sep-11 06:58:42

Of course it isn't what you want to here. I Agree with LeBof, there is no need to advise her. She'll find her own way whether it is gay, bi or straight.
You are lucky she told you TBH, I can't think that I would have told my Mum event hough we have a fantastic relationship.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Fri 02-Sep-11 06:58:58

That of course would he hear.

Booboostoo Fri 02-Sep-11 07:15:54

Why did you not want to hear she is gay? Maybe she's gay, maybe she's bi, maybe she's experimenting, maybe she's a teenager and doesn't know what she the end of the day if she is happy and confident in herself she will figure it out and with a bit of luck when the time is right she will find a wonderful partner to spend her life with - who cares what sex that partner is?

Grumpla Fri 02-Sep-11 07:20:06

She has told you that "she is" gay but you describe it in your thread title as "she thinks she is". If I were you I would be careful not to refer to her in this way as she could find that extremely dismissive and that would be a shame - she obviously trusts you at the moment so you don't want to damage that aspect of your relationship.

It's not for you to decide whether she is "confused" or not and tbh at 16 I would think that she probably has a good idea of the difference between admiration and sexual attraction!

Keep telling her that you love her and that you will continue to love her. Teenagers need to hear that a lot anyway. And support her - if she brings a girlfriend home at some point, be scrupulously 'fair' eg same house rules as previous boyfriend etc.

Count your lucky stars! No teen pregnancy to worry about and you get the prospect of a lovely daughter in law instead of a smelly bloke lurking around the house gringringrin

MrsRobertDuvall Fri 02-Sep-11 17:07:51

I would be delighted if dd was gay.

AMumInScotland Fri 02-Sep-11 17:14:25

Say "Whatever you are is fine with me. I love you, and whether you're gay or straight I will always love you". You don't need to advise her anything - if she wants to talk stuff over with you, then take it seriously and respond sensibly. Otherwise, keep your beak out - she's 16 and will work it out on her own.

gingeroots Fri 02-Sep-11 18:47:34

Of course a parent would /should say I love you and being gay/straight/bi won't change that .
But .... I think I might add something along the lines of people's sexual preferences aren't always fixed ,they can vary ,and that especially when younger , people may want to explore different sexual attitudes .

parkgate Tue 06-Sep-11 15:03:55

I'm with mrsrobertduvall.. and any way, what relevence is there is what sex her sexual partners are? I don't know the details of what any of my firends, family or collegues do in the bedroom and nor would i want to. As long as your DD is spending time and forming relationships with good peopel, I wouldn't worry about whether their male or female.
If she's got it wrong she'll work it out in her own time.

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