lets talk about nice teens(26 Posts)
having just seen and posted on the thread about national service I think we need to remind people that all teens are not thugs, so lets talk about them..\
my ds is 19 and yes he is on JS at the moment but the help he gives me looking after his severely disabled sister it a big commitment from him, he doesn't drink or smoke.
he isn't a thug who got involved in the student/recent thuggery.
his friends are the same, all helping at home and helping either in the community or with disability.
he isn't a saint, he has piercings, tattoo's and long hair(and a love of metal)
so come on tell me about your non thuggish teen
My dc's are not teens yet but I am a secondary school teacher so work with them all day long. In my experience the vast majority are fabulous. Yes they can be stroppy, yes they can argue and yes some only communicate through the language of grunt but, and it's a big but, they are funny, they are intelligent and they are caring.
I absolutely adore spending time with them, they never fail to entertain me and they never fail to surprise me with their capacity to question, capacity to care and capacity to change.
I love my job .
Dd is 18 and hasn't been a minute's trouble since the day she was born. She's kind and tolerant, independent and resourceful in spite of having next to no attention because of the demands of ds 16 and dd 8 with autism. She works as an accounts assistant is out most weekends but still manages to pander to the demands of ds and dd.
My older boys are no longer teens 23 and 22 and they have been great too, no trouble although they like a drink or two but they don't go OTT with it, no drugs or cigarettes and such a support to me
I have been very lucky but most are their friends are pretty much the same tbh so I don't think what we see on TV and in the papers is the norm really.
I have a fab teen and consider myself very lucky especially when I compare myself to him at that age!
He helps with his younger siblings. He is great company, really good sense of humour.
He is by nature a very easy going person and I can take him anywhere and know that he'll talk to anyone, from babies to little old ladies.
He has a great group of friends who are all very similar to him and I can't say enough how pleased I am that he has, so far, turned out to be quite a sensible young man.
DD1 (15) and DD2 (13) are both generally lovely girls. They work hard at school, get good marks and behave themselves. I'm especially proud of DD2, because school work doesn't come easily for her, and she still works hard and gets great marks.
Both girls do really well in extra curricular activities - gymnastics, competitive cheerleading and ballet. They've won countless competitions, both are on associate programmes for ballet, and they are gorgeous to watch. More importantly, imo, they work really hard at their activities and put in a lot of practice and conditioning hours on their own. It's the effort that goes in that I really respect, I wouldn't care if they didn't do well as long as they try.
Both teenage DDs look out for their younger sisters (DD3 and DD4). DD3 is due to go to secondary this time, and they have spend ages talking about how fun secondary is, helping DD3 sort out pencil cases and other extremely important issues. DD1 really looked out for DD2 when she started high school, and when DD2 had a rocky start to secondary she was there for her. I know both girls will look out for DD3 come September.
Any strops we have (and of course we have them!) tend to be about silly things, and blow over really quickly. I feel really lucky to have them, to be honest.
What a lovely post 2shoes. All the teens mentioned above sound wonderful - I really think there are more good teens than bad.
MY niece is 13, and she and her friends have spent this holiday on the phone and emailing Cancer Research UK and local Council trying to put together a fund-raising event. They have really enjoyed it, and have so far done it without any adult prompting/help.
I've just come back from a group family holiday (random families - not all mine!) which was for families with teens only. We had 7 assorted teenagers, all lovely, all able to relate to each other and the adults, all a credit to their families and communities.
I'm a teacher, too, and agree with elliepac that most are great.
My 13 year old ds is great. Yes he can be stroppy, fustrating and challenging but he is generally a good kid with an exceptional sense of humour and the cheek of the devil & everyone (especially girls!) love him!
He has been away with his friend and friend's grandparents for 10 days and he sent me a text this morning to say his missing his bed & his mummmy
I think we need to give more credit to these teenagers of ours
I am very lucky to have a wonderful 15 yer old ds. We have the best relationship. He is kind, considerate and very thoughtful. He also has a great sense of humour if I have had a bad day he can always get me laughing.
He is really good with his younger siblings and always offers to do things with them rather than me asking.
He has a great circle of friends who are always keen to chat to me when they come round and are very polite. They all have good relationships with their Mums to and speak very highly of them which I think is lovely.
This is a great thread - teens have a terrible name which seems to be getting worst and certainly not always deserved.
I am very proud of my son, the teen he is and the man he is growing into.
(I am frantically touching wood to Maryz after posting this!!)
I don't have teenagers, but on Tonights the night on Saturday there was a teenage girl who was a fantastic opera singer who devotes loads of time to charity for free. She pays her own travel and gives up her own social events to raise money by singing at charity events instead and if she gets paid she gives the money straight back to charity.
It made me cry.
My DD is very nearly 15 and is wonderful. Funny, kind, polite, clever - she will go far. Only ever had to ground her once and we very very rarely have a cross word.
all the teens I know (& it's quite a few) are lovely. All the bad press they get is largely unjustified.
Well done 2shoes, I was thinking of starting the same thread.
I know lots of lovely teens, and only a couple of 'rough' ones, both of whom come from a background of childhood trauma.
Can we also have a 'let's talk about why not all black culture is thuggish' thread for the benefit of David Starkey?
I have 2 lovely teens who have been brilliant over the last year when their dad was ill. They are both very mature and intelligent
My DD 13 has spent her holiday volunteering on a SN playscheme and also a swimming club for SN. She makes friends so easily and is happy and kind and caring, along with a very sharp wit and stands no nonsense from people who are mean and unkind. She is also very musical and brilliant at maths. She can be stroppy and moody but it is usually when she is tired or homonal.
My DS 15 is a complete nutter I have decided. He does stupid things like get up at 3 in the morning to walk to Cambridge for the sake of it (40 odd miles), there were 3 of them who walked together. Every one describes him as "lovely". He manages top set at school despite having dyslexic type problems.
Another secondary school teacher here. Plus I have two teenagers at home.
I think teenagers are fab (for all the reasons Ellie put). I also love my job.
My teenagers are hardworking, polite, clever, helpful- I am very proud of them both.
A lovely thread 2shoes.
Touch wood, my 13 seems to have forgotten to become a teenager. She's just quietly growing up, working hard at school and enjoying Guides and music.
She could help around the place a bit more, but hay she's always happy to help cook.
She also manages to get along with her sister something I never managed (and her sister is far harder work, mines lovely)
I have a lovely 18 year old DD who is due to find out on Thursday if all the hard work and pure determination and self motivation she put into revision has paid off and she has a place at Bristol University.
Tonight she went out on a night out with her friends, they all thanked me as they left the house for having them for dinner before and she just arrived home, came to let me know she was safely home and that she'd had a fab night.
My younger teenage DD spent the night in writing in her diary (she doenst know I know she has one) and chatting on the phone to her friend (from what I heard was comforting her upset friend who has a difficult home life with step families). No I'm not going to worry shes depressed or anxious and hence writes a diary nor am I going to moan about the phone bill or the exposure to her friends adversity. I am happy she has a way to vent her emtions and keep happy and enjoys writing. I am happy she has healthy friendhsips she values and knows the importance of comforting overs and being a trustworthy supportive friend.
I am so proud of my teenagers.. And despite the moans, I wouldnt want them to stop the things I moan about- realistically they are all healthy, positive aspects in my very normal very average but all very different from one another teenagers lives.
If a teenager is just perfect then they arent a good teenager! Its the only years your allowed to be a bit crazy, push the boundaries, experiment and find yourself and I'm not stopping mine from doing just that knowing
hoping they have the underlying intelligence to guide them into making what seems to them the best decisions.
None of the young people I know have been involved in any rioting or looting, although one made what they thought of as a jokey comment on Facebook that might have got them arrested in the current climate. It was promptly removed when their mother learnt of it.
I am far more concerned about those who clearly have no empathy at all, I suspect at least one will end up as a Tory MP.
My DD's are 24,21 and 19 . Yes I know only one is a teenager but they are still young, The 21 and 19 year old were horrified at the riots ( the 24 year old was out of the country with her DH). DD2 21 is at Uni in Kingston and has a job in Chessington World of Adventures so is staying up there for most of the summer. She was near the riots so made sure she phoned me to
Make sure I knew she was safe she also texted her elder sister as she lives in Ealing (she forgot she was away(. DD3 has a voluntary join which she does every Saturday. Is always keen to see family and friends. Came with DH and U today to visit a sick elderly relative. DD1 texted me as soon as she and her DH had landed at Heathrow to say they were back safely. None off them smoke or take drugs. dS3 only drinks occansionly.
Oh and all their friends were also horrified at the riots and would never rake part in anything like that.
My 3 are 18/15/12 and dare I say it- yes I dare- bloody lovely!
DD1 got her A level results today- they are amazing and all her own hard work, as I didn't nag or cajole at all - she fitted studying around her music and social life as she saw fit and clearly has got it right. She's the loveliest person- friends with everyone at school, copes with stress well (she kind of floats in her own happy world a lot of the time- she had to be WOKEN today to get her A level results?). She'll have a fabulous time at uni and I shall miss her terribly.
I honestly can't think of a real argument or angry moment for many years.
DS is sweet helpful (cleaned the bath at 11pm yesterday as I reminded him he had been asked and had forgotten) and sensitive. He gives the best hugs, ever! A big man hug from your son is so special. He studies hard but doesn't have the self belief that DD1 has we have to work on that.
DD2 is a stroppy madam at times at home but the lovliest, most mature, helpful and organised person outside the home. We often forget she is just 12 not 14 or so as she looks and behaves in such a grown up way (she forgets she is only 12 too!).
Interestingly DS was the only one with much interest in the rioting (DD1 was on the gower camping with mates- again in her own little world!) his huge "friend" database on facebook is diverse. 2 lads were in the mcdonalds when the bin was thrown at the start of the brum rioting and were terrified. His close friends from his school were universally horrified but some of the "idiots" ie ex primary mates apparently made some "interesting" comments which he didn't think I should hear but he wanted me to know they were not ones he agreed with and had said so, and he hadn't defriended them because he thought they needed "an eye" keeping on them!
I also know quite a few teens via work and the vast majority of them are actually quite lovely people with ambitions and a work ethic (and I don't work in a "nice" area). I get a few "grunters" and "street" talkers but I just tell them I don't "talk street" and to try language I'll understand and it works!
I do hope your DD has got her grades for uni :-)
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