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(9 Posts)
Nell799 Fri 12-Aug-11 13:14:37

I was wondering whether anyone has any advice on how to go about tackling the issue/stress that is feeding my teenage stepsons (17 & 15), for which DH has joint custody.

For protein they will eat any meat, mackerel and white fish, which is good, however, they only eat it in the form it comes in. Carbs are difficult. The only potato based product they eat includes thin chips or wedges. No homemade ones, no mash, boiled, roasted or jacket. If they have to eat rice, it’s a serving spoon of white that tends to get left. They can tolerate pasta once a week.

The youngest has an aversion to 'wet' food (however, funnily enough this does not include melted chocolate or cheese or yoghurts, so I'm not sure it’s a texture thing). That means no dishes with gravy or sauce (rule out soups, stews, pies, pasta sauces, curries, mince dishes etc). No family meals basically. We can tackle the curry and mince dish if we make it, then fry it off dry. He will also not eat things with 'bits' in them. Cue spag bol fried off, but with onion in means hassle.

They eat pizza, but only pepperoni.

They wont eat simple things like beans or spaghetti or soup from a tin.

The youngest eats raw carrot and iceberg lettuce, the oldest will add on peppers, parsnips (only roasted in honey) and sweetcorn (but only on the cob).

They eat cheese but only in cheese form!

From what I can gather, and from being in the house for 6 years, they have always been allowed separate meals, cooked how they want (in both houses)

For those 6 years I have spent a lot of time trying to get them to try new things, cooking only one meal etc but the youngest becomes very stressed, it is only this last year it hasn’t resulted in tears and tantrums! Last week he was in a foul mood because his pizza had red pepper on it. The week before, it went in the bin because it had onion on it, and tasted of onion. He went hungry. It does concern me about their health too, and I spend lots of time trying to work out how to get veg into their meals.

I am due to give birth in November, and next year once the new addition is old enough, I plan to feed the child home cooked food, the way I use to cook before I met my DH (I cooked everything from fresh, some meals were veggie etc), and take the stance one meal only. What do I do about my stepsons? My LO may well turn out this way, but I want to ensure that I bring it up the way I and my siblings were brought up when it comes to food. I don’t want the LO picking up on this fussiness. I also don’t want the added stress of having to deal with it now and while I'm looking after a newborn.

maras2 Fri 12-Aug-11 14:28:21

Good Christ Nell. Just concentrate on nourishing yourself and your baby.Those boys are old enough to cook their weird stuff themselves.Just be around for advice if needed but let them get on with it unless they have SN's then ignore my post and take advice from someone better qualified than me.Best of luck for the future. Mx.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 12-Aug-11 14:35:29

17 and 15? I'm starting to teach DS(12) to cook, maybe you could do the same, get them cooking with you so that they'll eat whatever? They do sound very faddy for that age.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin Fri 12-Aug-11 14:40:34

My DS is like that, he has Asperger's, but at 16 he can cook for himself.
It certainly shouldn't be something you are fretting over, let them eat basics.

AMumInScotland Fri 12-Aug-11 15:17:00

Fill the freezer with pepperoni pizza and leave them to it. Don't cook an extra meal for them, they are old enough to look after themselves if they are not eatting what you are cooking.

By the time your LO is old enough to realise they are living off pizza, they'll likely have moved out anyway, so its not going to make your baby fussy.

scurryfunge Fri 12-Aug-11 15:22:43

Tell them what you be preparing and if they don't like it, they can make their own. Life is too short.

Nell799 Fri 12-Aug-11 15:50:13

We did try and involve them with cooking, but if it involved making anything with 'bits' in it or was wet, then the youngest would not eat it or make it. So its goes as far as shoving things into the oven.

I did come to the conclusion last week to fill the freezer up with pizza, and if they didnt want what we have, just to leave them to make their own and I think that is what I will do. It will save my sanity. I guess their eating habits are to in grained, and its now up to them to change. Thanks for the advise.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 12-Aug-11 21:11:00

15 and 17 - surely you can have a decent conversation with them? Ask them why they restrict their food so much? What do they do at friends' houses? In restaurants? At school?

And where is your DH in all of this?

SecretSquirrels Mon 15-Aug-11 18:29:00

I fear it is far too late to sort this out. If you had been able to tackle it when they were pre teen you might have stood a chance and then only if you had sole responsibility for re-educating their palates.
They have been indulged in the worst possible way and there is no reason whatsoever that your baby will not eat a normal diet.

My two boys became increasingly faddy as they got older. When they were 7 and 9 I made some big changes in the way we ate as a family and what we ate. They used to eat with us at weekends but during the week I gave them their evening meal at 5pm and we ate later when they were in bed. I changed this so that we all ate together every day and they had more or less the same as us , bar a few concessions. They are now 13 and 15 and a pleasure to cook for.

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