Accepting that your child is growing up...(18 Posts)
My Son is almost 13 now, and I'm having a really hard time accepting that he's growing up - don't get me wrong, I don't smother him, and he gets his freedom to grow etc, but deep down I'm finding it really hard :-( I guess this must be completely natural - does anyone else out there feel the same, and if you've been through it, how did you manage it? X
i feel like that and my ds is only nearly 8 !!!!!
I sympathise totally. Mine are 23, 22, 17 and 15. The eldest two have done university and are working full time. None of them seem to have any aspirations to leave home. Fantastic! I hope none of them ever go.
I never want him to leave home LOL, but realistically I want him to have a wonderful life, and of course I want grandchildren one day! I wonder if it's worse when they're an only child? X
every stage of their lives presents its own challenges - for us its boyfriends (DD is 14.5). And clothes. But we shall survive it and rejoice that they are growing up sensible and well mannered!
I was so sad when my dd1 was starting to grow up and i felt as if i never wanted to let her go (she is the eldest) but i knew that there was no restart button and that you have to let go someday. I just always think what a wonderful grownup she´s going to be and that i will support her and be a mother to her whenever i can that always cheers me up. Try it, it does help a lot.
I love my children to bits but wouldn't want them to still be at home in their 20's. DD1 us 24 and married and DD2 21 and going into her third year at uni. She is in Kingston and wants to stay up there when she finishes. I miss them both bur am also glad they have made a life on their own. Of course if they needed to come home we would let them. DD3 is 19 has learning difficulties and will be at college for another 2 years.
Oh my heart broke today seeing ds dumped on Facebook for apparently being a crap bf and "messing with his gf's head".
His crime? Not texting back. His gf often runs out of credit and never has any money and that's ok apparently, but for some reason she would rather believe ds is ignoring her because he couldn't possibly run out of credit could he? I dont claim any maintenance from his dad, our agreement is that he tops up ds's phone with a £10 monthly package and when it's gone it's gone, I refuse to pay towards it since I pay for everything else. She got her "mate" involved who said she was brokenhearted and gave ds a fair amount of abuse. Poor lad, he's been nothing but a gentleman towards her and jaysus...he's only 14 (yes, I do manage his account...that's how I saw it).
Did I call her some names under my breath..... I really really wanted to tell her how much he liked her, that everything he'd told her was true and the silly girl had dumped him for nothing...it's killing me to keep it zipped .
Aaaw - poor thing. Facebook can be brutal. I hope he isn't too upset - girls can be so vile sometimes (speaking as a mother of 2 girls!). I think it is because they are so gossipy with their friends. He didn't text her, so she went and gossiped with her friend who said - that's not on, etc - and it all gets blown out of proportion. Best to have got rid of her sooner rather than later, although I am sure he doesn't see it that way at the moment. Poor boy - a lesson in life but not a very nice one x
Of course it's bl**dy hard- they are always your babies. THat is a built in instinct thing IMHO.
Me I cope by constantly looking at the fantastic "baby adults" they are becoming- remember how you were so proud of each step when they were little- crawling, walking, starting school? Well the milestones here are just as fantastic if not more so because they are a reflection of them as people and their personalities not just biology IYSWIM. To see them succeed academically,in their hobbies build a secure network of friends and a social life that has nothing to do with you etc is sniffly but amazing.
(one of my biggest milestones was not going ape at DS when at ?13 he was late home and incommunicado- turned out he'd be waiting at the bus stop with some girls he knew and older boys from a "rival" school came and tried to take a bag etc - he just said "leave her alone" and got thumped for his pains- fortunately it dissipated when they were on the bus, but as the other lads got on too, DS got off with the girls and saw them home and then had to walk a mile or so- how proud was I , when I got over the wanting to wring his neck from the worry!!).
Oh and don't forget the man hugs- DS has just said goodnight (he's 6foot plus and 15 now) he virtually bends down and pats me on the head but he gives splendid hugs!
I did say to him last night that a lot of it was probably due to her gossiping and listening far too much to her friends who haven't even met him. He came down tonight and said "i'm ok about it now mum. I'm still fed up but I did nothing wrong and it's her loss" awwww!
We shall never stop being mothers but they will stop being children. From the day they are born our job is to teach them to fly the nest. Let them go and they will return; make them stay close and they will go and never come back; clip their wings and they will fail.
What a lovely thread. Op I'm same as you with a soon to be teen and found this thread a very comforting read
Frogs and Theas what lovely young men you have brought into the world
Sympathies to TheFrogs and your DS. I never liked DD1's first bf but managed to keep my thoughts to myself. When he finally showed his true colours she proved well able to dump him herself.
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