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What punishment for a 13 year old for stealing at school?

(4 Posts)
pomegranate1975 Thu 11-Aug-11 14:03:48

What punishment for a 13 year old for stealing at school?
My son is suspended for 3 days as he was caught stealing with his friend. They both stole from another friend bag which was $110..His friend said to go halves with my son.
The school didnt call me and my son messaged me and his phone went dead. School finished at 3pm then he didnt come home and i started worrying and stressing and went looking at the shopping centres looking for him, then he calls me at 7.30pm and says he was caught stealing and scared to come home. I was polite to him and told him that was wrong etc.. and he was a a friends house and told me to pick him up at the station but didnt want to tell me where his friend lives. I talked to him about a hour in the car.
My son says its cause we dont give him enough money and he wants more money and wants $50 a week. My son gets $10 a week but if he doesnt do chorus which he doesnt he only gets $5 a week.
He keeps blaming his dad that its all his fault and dad is crazy and will shout and scream and its all his fault. My son has blamed all this on my husband and i said to him to go to bed and we will talk in the morning.
how much does your 13 year old get a week and what punishment would you give your son for suspension and stealing? This is his 2nd suspension for the year. 1st time stealing that i am aware off.
By the way i am in australia.

Kladdkaka Thu 11-Aug-11 21:19:09

I took my daughter down to the police station once and got them to read her the riot act. They even made her sit in a cell on her own for a few minutes so she could see where she'd end up. Frightened her stupid.

generalhaig Fri 12-Aug-11 15:24:18

Has the stealing been dealt with by school? If so, do you think the message has got through from that quarter? Do your ds and his friend have to pay the money back?

As far as the amount he's getting is concerned, while $10 a week isn't a massive amount for a 13 year old, it's not peanuts either. And $50 a week, which is £25 give or take would be an enormous amount if it's just pocket money. What is your ds expected to pay for?

The amount of pocket money young teens get varies enormously (you'll find plenty of threads on here to give you an idea), as does exactly what they're expected to fund.

My ds (14) gets £35 per month which includes his £15 per month phone contract, so £20 for socialising, cinema trips, games etc. On top of that we pay for essential school stuff, sports equipment and basic clothes. He gets £50 per quarter which he can spend on clothes of his choice, so he can 'upgrade' basic purchases by paying the difference between say a Gap hoodie and a Jack Wills version. The flip side is he is expected to do some basic chores although these aren't linked specifically to getting money, and he has to pay for any breakages and losses e.g. He didn't get his allowance this month as he had to pay for a new xbox controller after throwing the old one onto the floor in a fit of temper ...

GnomeDePlume Sat 13-Aug-11 21:35:15

At your DS' age I think the stealing is part of the stupid, egotistical, cant see the consequences behaviour that some teenagers seem to get into. At the same time stealing from a friend is about as low and despicable as that behaviour can get.

A friend of my daughter stole from her. DD was heartbroken at the betrayal.

So, having seen this from the other side my punishments would be as follows:

- your son has to pay back the value he stole, every last cent. He has to see this. This means that each week you count out 10 dollars in front of him and then take 9 dollars and say 'that is to repay what you stole'.
- your son has to visit the person he stole from, stand in front of that person and apologise.
- your son has to take whatever punishment the school makes as well

The hardest lessons that your son will learn are:

- sorry isnt enough
- he has been lower than a worm and people arent going to trust or like him
- this is all his own fault

If he doesnt agree to the above (and there is an element on consent in this) then strip his room and his life of every luxury which you provide. It sounds like a bit of austerity would do him good.

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