DD15 wanting to go out in car with 17 yo boys(8 Posts)
My daughter is generally no trouble at all, usually stays within boundaries although I do allow her a reasonable amount of freedom which I think is in line with her age. She now wants to go out in a car (only quite locally about 5/6 miles away) with a couple of 17 yo boys she knows and another girl. I don't know these boys personally but have heard they are 'ok' (from other parents) and my DD assures me that the driver will be careful etc. I'm absolutely petrified and inclined to say no, but then will she just go and do it anyway without my knowledge? Opinions and/or experiences please!!!
OK, I don't have a 15 yo DD yet (long way off), but my gut reaction would be to to scream NOOOOO! And lock her in her room until school starts.
But...if you know the driver has passed his test and has insurance.....then I would say her going in the car is not real issue, but what she gets up to when she is there. (I have been a 15 year old girl!)
How about saying she can go if you see the drivers driving licence, etc? She will be so mortified she'd rather stay at home.
I know how you feel. I was petrified when DD1 wanted to go out in a car with her friends when she was in 6th firm. She was 16 at the time and the driver had only recently passed their test. But I decided to let her go and she was fine. She is now 24.
My gut feeling would be no unless I knew the boy well personally. My just 18yr old has been in this situation with her mates as she is the youngest in the group and the only guy I've let her travel with is a geeky chap with his own nice new little car and a curfew on his insurance that he is happy to own up to. Girls wise again I need to know and trust them personally. DD's mates aren't drinkers (withnessed by her 18th birthday BBQ when they had a high old time on 1 bottle fizzy plonk 1 bottle white wine and 2 stubby beers bettwen 12 of them!) and I know them, so I did let her go to wales with 3 mates, driven by the 4th, but still anxiety levels were up!
So I'd say no if you don't know the boy. If I was at all iffy I'd say no rather than asking to see his licence TBH. Definitely no to going in an old banger of any sort- nice little low engine size new car means his parent are loaded but also it isn't stolen and isn't a dodgy insurance write off purchased for £100 with no MOT....
One of DDs girl friends missed an A level exam as she had a crash driving to it - she was OK, nice little car written off. i do question that her parents let her drive at all on a stressy day but at least the car had decent modern safety stuff on board and she was safe.
I drove to A'levels plenty of us did, it was that a 24 mile round trip to pick us up or hang around school for half the day.
As for the op I would be very nervous if I didn't know the boys. Those of us with access to cars gave our friends lifts, but we were all 17/18 and had known each other for years.
Oh this is scary. Boy or girl I'd say no.
I want DS to learn to drive but never to go in a car with an under 21 driver.
The nicest 17 year old in the world is still a very inexpert driver and could be distracted by passengers.
Thanks for your input everyone. The topic seems to have died down/been forgotten about by DD for the time being but have decided when it raises it's head again, as it surely will, that I need to meet the boys concerned and make sure there is a full driving licence - will still be terrified but it has to happen sometime!
House rule here is that you don't go as passenger until 6 months after the driver has passed his/her test (and equally you don't take passengers for the first 6 months - DS has no car to drive so not an issue). My DSs accept this and having seen several friends have accidents in the first 6 months, thankfully minor, and knowing of others who have been killed locally, have not fought against it, even though it has at times been inconvenient for them.
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