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Attention parents with brainiac kids!What do your teenagers receive for doing well in school?

(15 Posts)
pomegranate1975 Fri 22-Jul-11 05:43:08

What do you bribe your children with when u want them to do well in school? I am trying to give him motivation to do well.

My son is in year 8 and I just want to boost my sons marks in his education to get him in a roll to do well e.g over 80% in every subject. He has failed five out of 10 subjects for half yearly exams sad

The asian kids do so well in school and i want my son to be the same. Does anyone know what their technique is or what are the childrens timetables like after school?

What are your timetables like after school? How much study do your children do from now till the yearly exams?

Any tips and advice will be appreciated!!!!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Fri 22-Jul-11 13:49:08

The only reward mine got was an extra fiver coz their school reports were so good.

It's quite possible that the reason the asian kids at your school do so well is because they don't indulge in any extra-curricular activities and instead concentrate more on academic subjects. there is nothing wrong with this. Equally, there is nothing wrong with having a broader and more rounded education.

I'm not sure what you mean by what are their timetables like after school. The only timetables mine have are in school. After school they do their homework, relax, eat, potter around the house, go out with friends sometimes, practice their instruments if i can be bothered to nag them enough, stay at school for an extra curricular activity if they want.

Not sure what exams your talking about either? If your son is in year 8 what exams are those then?

ExitPursuedByAGryffin Fri 22-Jul-11 13:53:22

The Asian children I know have very 'focussed' parents who do timetable their learning outside school. They do Kumon maths, Arabic lessons, and other extra lessons deemed relevant. They do other stuff as well, like netball, but they definitely have a different mindset to my DD (11) who just wants to hang around the village with her mates and 'the boys' now hmm

cat64 Fri 22-Jul-11 14:37:46

Message withdrawn

AMumInScotland Fri 22-Jul-11 15:01:33

If he has just failed half of his subjects, then I think you aiming for him getting 80% in every subject is a strange target, and possibly just not achievable. Are the teachers telling you that he is capable of geting those kinds of marks if he just put the effort in? Do you think he's very intelligent but unmotivated? Or is it perhaps more likely that he is an "average" student who will always struggle to pass his exams?

I think your strategy for helping him has to start from a realistic view of his ability and potential. If you promise him a Ferrari for 80% results in all his exams, he will soon work out that no matter how hard he tries he's just not going to manage that, so it won't motivate him at all.

OTOH if you help and encourage him to work hard, and to pay atention to the teachers comments on how he could do better, and reward his efforts, then you may be able to help him to do better than he is currently managing.

Pagwatch Fri 22-Jul-11 15:06:27

Children don't need bribery to do well.

I would never bribe my children, it is counter productive.

I have just encouraged him to see that academic success can help him chose the kind of career he wants. It increases his options.
Does he understand why exams are important to him/you? Does he want to go to university? What job/career does he think he would like?

SecretSquirrels Fri 22-Jul-11 16:18:46

When you say he has failed half his subjects I don't understand. Are you in the UK? Year 8s don't normally have pass or fail exams just yearly assessments. They have targets which should reflect what their teacher thinks they are capable of.
If he has failed to achieve his targets I would ask the school why this is. Were they unrealistic or did he not work hard enough?
Actually I disagree about bribes. I bribe with cash for As on the report for effort and attitude to work.

cat64 Sat 23-Jul-11 00:16:11

Message withdrawn

duchesse Sat 23-Jul-11 00:42:32

To be fair, bribery may well work with some children. Immaturity at 13 should not be a bar to future success, so any loving parent would want to encourage their child to do well if they were having problems.

Have you tried the carrot and stick approach? Removing privileges such as XBox and telly in room for instance, or going out with friends (not a right at 13 imo), and reintroducing them in exchange for good behaviour (which will include working hard at school). There is little reason (assuming you are in the UK) for any child to "fail" subjects, in the absence of SN, unless they are being inattentive and unmotivated. These things should be encouraged. Your DC needs to know that you expect him to work.

It's up to you to provide the environment in which he can work. Suitable work space (suitable for him- may be kitchen table while you cook so that he can ask questions, or may be private space in his room, depends on the child); suitable nutrition and sleep so that he is not to tired to learn; suitable time for work at home- not too late, not fitted in piecemeal around other activities- ie prioritised; suitable support for his learning - ie pursuing outside school the things he is learning in school (might mean trips to museums or historic sites at weekends, or trawling the internet for suitable resources); suitable encouragement to him (checking how he's doing and whether hw has been completed in time etc) and dialogue with school about his learning (not his results, which are his own, but his level of engagement at school and his attitude) so that he's in no doubt that you and the school are on the same page. These are all things that create the best possible environment for children to develop their potential.

My rule is that you can't expect them to achieve highly, but you sure as heck can expect them to work hard. Whether they're bright or not that bright academically it is not ever going to be a disadvantage to them to have a good work ethic. This is to be encouraged.

Good luck with encouraging him to turn the corner. Year 8 is a difficult year for DC- so many pressures on them with peers and hormones. Don't make excuses for him though- it's the same for all the others.

pomegranate1975 Sat 23-Jul-11 05:19:56

i am in australia. How the exams work is they get half yearly and yearly exams. They are out of a 100% and he received under 50% for half his subjects.
The teachers says he is a smart kid but not putting the effort in. He failed geography,history,music,tech mandotory,and visual arts. The rest of other subjects he got between 60%-70%.
School starts 9 and finish 3pm. I wanted to know are the days structured e.g study 5.30-7.30pm everyday and stick to it? how many hours of homework and study a day generally.
He does want to go to universitiy, but he wants to go on computer or xbox and i have to tell him to get off and study. He always says he has no homework.

HattiFattner Sat 23-Jul-11 05:57:45

in year 8 its important that he learns to structure his own learning time.

My childs new teacher recommends no TV/Games/Computer until 7pm. That leaves a nice 4 hour window in which to relax, do homework, do sport, study for exams, practice music.

SecretSquirrels Sat 23-Jul-11 10:59:10

In the UK Year 8s are aged 12/13 but Year 8 in Australia might not be the same age as here.
My experience of Year 8 is that it can be a bit of a coasting year. I agree that it's essential for him to start structuring his own timetable. DS1 was a bit slack in Year 8 but Year 9 brought more homework and more pressure. He has just finished Y10 and this last few months has probably done 2 hours a night with more at weekends or just before exams.

mumeeee Sat 23-Jul-11 17:02:03

Don't push him to much it could end up being counter productive. After school I would encourage him to do his homework but also give him time to relax. DD1 is a Secondary school teacher and she days year 8's are just beginning to find the feet at school.

Theas18 Sun 24-Jul-11 13:40:49

Hmm. Not sure. My girls have a really strong work ethic and a pretty competitive streak so they work hard because they do and because actually getting as good better marks than their mates matters to them ( they are 12 and 18). Ds (15) has worked very hard this past year and getting A/A* now matters to him. In year 8 ( aged 13) we did have touch of " could do better if he put. Bi more work in" at parents evening, and that seemed to hit home.

All 3 have a busy out of school schedule with little let up even during exam time. They manage to fit it all in. My perception is that the girls who are forbidden to do much that isn't seen as "academic" seem to big up on boyfriends and teen angst instead....

Milliways Tue 26-Jul-11 21:21:11

Mine got letters home from the school praising progress/attitude in particular subjects - once DD got 6 letters in a week! (end of term).

Only "reward" I ever did was take DD to London to see Wicked (2 for 1 offer) when she got 11 A*'s at her GCSE's. Some of her friends were paid per A grade!

Currently awaiting DSs results, so will have to work out a similar treat for him as he worked very hard so deserves to do well.

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