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At 18, shouldn't they be becoming "human" again?

(19 Posts)
Reiden Thu 21-Jul-11 16:27:21

I've kinda been hoping that by 18, my DSD would have started to grow out of the moody, argumentative, stroppy etc teenager and start to become a respectful adult. Its been 5 months, what is going wrong?

AuntieMonica Thu 21-Jul-11 16:28:26

IME it's more like 22 I'm afraid <sighs>

Reiden Thu 21-Jul-11 16:38:40

Nooooooo really? Nooooooooo

usualsuspect Thu 21-Jul-11 16:39:52

I get glimpses of a real human from my 18 year old ,maybe its a slow process grin

Ocasional glimpses here... (he was 18 in march!)..but still plenty of bad tempered grunting,.....

msrisotto Thu 21-Jul-11 17:39:15

It took me moving out before I lost my devil horns i'm afraid.

mumeeee Thu 21-Jul-11 21:56:56

Sorry OP that doesn't always happen. DD2 is 21 and has only recently become less stroppy. Going to uni seems to have helped. She's just finished her 2nd year. Although she didn't really start getting stroppy until she was about 16

mycatsaysach Thu 21-Jul-11 21:59:13

22

blooody hell

timidviper Thu 21-Jul-11 22:02:05

Yes. Think it was 22 for DS too although there were glimpses from about 17 onwards.

crazynanna Thu 21-Jul-11 22:05:27

Well,my boy's 27,and I am still eager to glimpse progress <rolls eyes>

Reiden Fri 22-Jul-11 12:30:04

I am now truely depressed... and she isnt even going to college to help her along her way!

AuntieMonica Fri 22-Jul-11 12:52:23

yup, between the ages of DCs being 18-22 i think you become increasingly invisible.

all they can see is the contents of the fridge and perhaps if you are in possession of the car keys or not <eyeroll>

be prepared for many grunts of 'i'm an adult now you know' but they'll slip a 'muu-uum, can you do this for me please' in at the drop of a hat confused

on their 22nd birthday the scales fall from their eyes and they have a whole new outlook wink

cat64 Sat 23-Jul-11 00:18:54

Message withdrawn

mumofsussex Sat 23-Jul-11 19:02:58

Can I join the club? DS turned 18 last month and I am saddened about the way he is behaving. He is hoping to go off to Uni in September to study an extremely professional course but at times it is like having a toddler in the house. sad

yoey Sat 23-Jul-11 19:14:12

My 19 year old lad is absolutely fantastic- mature, funny, respectful, clever etc just as long as I'm not around... So take some comfort from the possibility that your young adult is also a well-formed human but sadly it's us their parents who cop the moody/silences/just-see-them-when-food-is-required/incredulous responses to reasonable questions. I must say my elderly parents still get that from me and I'm in my forties. Immature forties.

Missingfriendsandsad Sat 23-Jul-11 19:27:58

well as one of those who is still regarded by my parents as stroppy toddler i can give you one sound piece of advice. stop treating them like children. dont tell them what to do ask, dont stop them mid story and ask them do do their buttons up properly and allow them their character rather than trying to correct them, their thoughts and their opinions.Above all if they set a boundary honour it.

My parents refused to treat me and my sister like adults and lost out on years of good relations with us as a result. my dad still tries to 'prove' our opinions aren,t ours- that we have 'picked them upfrom somewhere' and my mum thinks that if we disagree with her we are 'just tired'
i hardly speak to either of them. neither are interested in what i have achieved only in what they think i am doing wrong.if i do achieve anything they tell me that i have done it the wrong way and they would have done it better Hence they dont get told anything and i am pegged 'stroppy'

mumeeee Sat 23-Jul-11 20:05:15

Although I said earlier about DD2 stii being stroppy at times with us. She is always very polite to out friends even if we are around and as I said she is getting better with us. DD1 is 24 and has been married for 2 years. She is now a sensible mature young lady. DD3 is 19 but has actually got worse over the past year but she has leaning difficulties and is more like a 15 year old. Saying that she also is polite to our friends and we sometimes have sensible conversations with her. DD2 can be very witty at tims

juneybean Sat 23-Jul-11 20:11:18

Ooo I just turned 26 and I'm still argumentative and stroppy grin

yoey Sat 23-Jul-11 20:37:34

Juneybean I agree, I moved into the world happily continuing with my stroppy argumentativeness (and moody difficultness and all the rest). In fact, without wishing to belittle Missing's sobering and valuable advice, reading that post makes me realise I have become the teenager to my rather more mature son- it's me who picks up random and half-considered opinions and it's me who disagrees with everyone when I'm tired (or hungry).

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