Teens and money

[theredhen]

This isn't a major problem but it's a niggle that's bugging me.

My 13 yr old DS gets £15 per month pocket money. £3 of which he has to save and the rest he can spend. He always asks for money at Christmas and birthday now too.

I am and always have been a saver by nature. His Dad (we are divorced) was/is a spender.

Now I suspect DS has more of his Dad's genes when it comes to money. Everytime we go out he wants to buy the latest this or that (technology, not clothes or fashion). It seems he buys the latest console or gets it for Christmas and then he wants to trade it in and get the latest upgraded version. Whatever is new out, he wants it. He takes good care of the stuff he has, so it's not as if he is "easy come, easy go" but he just seems to want, want, want.

At the moment, he wants to trade in his Xbox and his DSi for the latest versions, even though I don't think there is much difference and he will lose loads of money.

It really frustrates me as I really would have hoped that he would spend his money on the odd game every few months and be happy with that, but this constant need to replace things is driving me mad.

So, do I just let him get on with it and hopefully he will realise at some point that he is being daft and "latest" doesn't always mean "better" or do I put some restrictions on?

[dexter73]

I think you should just let him get on with it as it is his money and he will have different ideas to you as to what he thinks it is worth spending it on. My dd is the same and will spend all her money on make-up and going to Costa. Drives me mad but as long as she isn't asking me for money then she can spend it on whatever she likes!

[nickschick]

Hes 13 its his money .....its lesson to learn.

[nickschick]

Its his lesson to learn

[alice15]

I think that standing back and letting younger teens make disastrous purchasing decisions is one of the hard parts of parenting them. My DD1 took over the budget for, and choice of, her own clothes when she was 13/14, after much begging. She made some awful choices at first, the worst perhaps being £65 for a horrible cardigan with fringing on which became known in the family as "The Rug", which she wore perhaps twice. Two years down the line, she has learnt to manage her budget, more or less, has stopped making unwise expensive buys altogether, and now has better dress sense than I do and a real eye for what suits her and what things look good together - but I am sure she has only learnt these things through being able to make her own mistakes.
I reckon that what your son spends his money on is entirely up to him, and the consequences of his choices will teach him a lot, provided you don't shield him from the consequences by topping up his allowance by lots of extra money. But it can be very hard to stand back and watch it happen!

[mumsamilitant]

My DS did this once - he's 13 and a half. He had a Wii and decided to trade it in for the latest DSi. It was of course a mistake. He then however wanted to trade in his Playstation 2 for an Xbox Live. I said no he couldnt! I used the excuse (well its not an excuse really) that you have to pay a monthly fee to use the Xbox on the net and you dont on the Playstation and I sure as hell wasnt paying it!

I now also give my son a weekly allowance of £15 which has to cover absolutely everything and I have to say he's starting to become quite responsible and wanting to save. When I was just giving him money here and there, say £1.50 a day for school, money to go to macdonalds with his mates etc. he was spending it all. And the willy nilly bits and pieces cost me a fortune. Now he doesnt take any to school and buys larger more useful purchases.

[gotolder]

Let him get on with it and learn his own lessons.

(I think he must be my DH's love-child.)

[wakeupandsmellthecoffee]

my DS 12 is very good at spending my money . A friend of his is leaving the school and he wanted to buy him a phone cover as a leaving present . I said of course and now that you have your debit card and your amazon account you can order him one no problem . he looked at me and said " I think i will just say its been nice knowing you " tight little bugger . lol

[theredhen]

DS has no interest in buying small things. Perhaps the odd magazine but generally he wants to save up for the big, big things, sometimes ones he doesn't need. I think I will see the positive that he doesn't just fritter money away willy nilly on silly things and let him get on with it.

Thanks for the comments.

[Ryma]

£15 per month? not a lot

[TrillianAstra]

I don't think spending money is genetic, I think it's a learned trait. From your description he doesn't fritter his money, he saves it for something that he wants. You just don't like the things he chooses.

If you want him to be more responsible or want to give him better training for adult life I think you should give him more money but buy him fewer things. So if he blows it all on the 1st of July and can't go to the cinema on the 15th that's his problem.

[theredhen]

I know it's not much but he also had money for Xmas and birthday and now has several hundreds in his bank account.

Yes, I am feeling better about his spending habits now.

[cory]

If it's any consolation, my dd thinks I'm a reckless spendthrift because I spend my "spending money" on breeding tropical fish (my hobby) and not on theatre tickets, which is how she thinks any sane person would spend it. I don't think there is a "reckless tropical fish gene" in the family

[TrillianAstra]

So you are complaining because your teenager is good at saving money? You silly billy :)