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HELP Non Communication with 18yr old son

(6 Posts)
Racquel2902 Fri 24-Jun-11 15:58:44

my son hasnt spoken to me for a year and a half.

He lives with my x husband

Anyone had a similar experiance? Any advise

WherecanIhide Fri 24-Jun-11 21:25:51

Nothing useful to offer except I felt sorry for you that no one responded.

Why hasn't he spoken to you for a year and a half?

whenigrowup Sat 25-Jun-11 09:19:14

Was there an incident which sparked this off? How is communication between you and your x? I do feel for you. I know teenagers can be incredibly self-absorbed and not give basic communication the priority it should have; having said this a year and a half is a long time; what have you tried?

RoseWei Sat 25-Jun-11 10:24:59

Going through something on similar lines - one of my ds is 21 and has lived with my ex for a year and a half, too. What little communication there is from him is very difficult to read, couched in very cruel language. He's been through a hellish time since leaving home (unexpectedly). Your ds may be OK but you'll want to know.

Maybe a minor breakthrough, though. He has recently got in touch with one of his siblings through the x-box and they've been playing games. I'd rather it was something else but it may be a start. Nothing said - he just wanted to get in touch.

Do you have other DCs? Do you have any potential intermediaries?
It's hell, isn't it? Do these kids realise just how much sorrow they leave behind? Maybe not but I hope, for both you and me, that by and by our DCs will get in touch and begin to re-establish relationships with the family they grew up with.

Racquel2902 Sat 25-Jun-11 11:13:02

Thank you for all your support
It all started when my son had driving lessons and he didnt like what the instructor was telling him, he wanted to pass quicker, also his school told him if he didnt pass his exams he would be out , I was pleading with him to study , but as u all know teenagers do what they want .

I am the parent who was rule maker and my x was only fun wanting to be their friends. So my son didnt like what I had to say and felt he could run to his father and have a life of riley which he does.

My son thinks he can ignore me , But we live in the same area, I have sent text messages , letters and birthday card but nothing.
When I collected his sister who also lives with her father part time he was crossing the road and saw I pulled up and hid behind a bush!!!!!!

Their is no communication between my x and I , It was my decision to divorce and he has hated me ever since, I have remarried , he hasnt moved on but has the kids and is using them as friends not as a parent , they do what they want my son was kicked out of school and he ha bummed around since , working for his father in the market

he is also ignoring my side of the family only when its to his advantage like his birthday did he phone and visit them.

I am angry as well as sad as he is acting so immaturely and to be honest I think he has dug himself further and further that he doesnt even know why we rowed and cant get out of the hole he has dug.

Kids like my son are selfish as they dont realise what devesatation they leave behind.

WherecanIhide Sun 26-Jun-11 15:13:07

Oh dear, what an awful situation. Sorry I don't have anything insightful/clever to offer. Maybe when your son is older, he will see things very differently and may realise you were actually the better parent (their brains don't fully mature until the age of 21). Your ex-husbands' behaviour is inexcusable. He should be encouraging your son to contact you. I wonder of your ex is enjoying this 'power game' as he is clearly winning atm.

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