Are the School allowed to do this

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

DD is a daygirl at a private school. She has been to the infirmary as she was upset, and had long chats with the nurse. Nurse has suggested that she speaks to the doctor, and has made an appointment for her (Doc visits the school). Now the question is, are they allowed to do this without consulting me. I am going to ask them but was wondering if anyone here knows.

[MrsHerculePoirot]

I think so. At our school we have a school nurse that students can go to see confidentially and she can refer them on to various agencies/gp as appropriate. My understanding is that if appropriate the child will be encouraged to involve speak to their parents but they can't be forced to do so. I teach at a secondary state school.

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

DD is 14 btw.

[meditrina]

How old?

If over 16 she can definitely give her own medical consent, and can also do that younger if she is deemed Fraser (or Gillick) competent. It is however considered good practice to inform the parents of under-18s about all their medical issues, but this cannot be done if the patient does not agree.

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

I have just emailed the school to ask what the policy is. I am livid.

If she needs to see a doctor, then I will take her ffs.

[unfitmother]

I don't see why not.

[swanker]

Our surgery has a very prominent sign displayed saying "All our patients are treated in strict confidentiality, even those under 16 years "

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

I think I need to move with the times then. I had no idea!

[LaurieFairyCake]

I wouldn't pass on info to a parent about a child of 14, and I often see girls who are having sex/concerned about pregnancy and stds. They are entitled to confidentiality.

School counsellor though, not school nurse.

[unfitmother]

If the school nurse is a Registered nurse then they will be bound by their code of conduct which means they ate obliged to maintain yoor DD's confidentiality if she is Fraser competant.

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

ok, just supposing she is depressed. Will they then prescribe pills for her to take without my consent?

[iggitwotimes]

I thought you said if she needed to see a doctor, you'd be happy to take her yourself? It seems odd to not want your daughter to have appropriate treatment for whatever is wrong with her.
If you think the GP is prescribing something she doesn't need, why not take her to see another GP for a second opinion.

[cory]

AnotherDay, doctors tend to be very reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants for under 16s because of the very limited number of permitted medicines for that age group and the potential side effects of the ones you are allowed to use. Tbh they would want try all other routes first even if you were there with your dd and both of you pleading with them (I know this from experience). Counselling far more likely and probably not a bad thing either.

Even if you took her to the GP and got her referred for counselling you would not actually be able to sit in on her counselling sessions and hear what she said about things, so probably doesn't make much odds who arranges it.

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

Yes i did say that iggitowtimes. I am just not happy about the nurse recommending her to the doctor without my say so. She is upstairs now, chatting happily away to her friends. Something happened this week, which meant she didn't get her own way about something and I think that it has sent her into a tizz, that coupled with not enough sleep.

I am all for counselling if that's what she needs, but fgs she is just a teenager. She has a good life, or so I thought. Everyone gets ups and downs, and it doesn't mean you have to run to a doc when you are feeling down.

[AnotherDayAnotherNamechange]

Thanks Cory. I wouldn't expect to be part of any counselling session, but I am extremely bothered about this being arranged without my consent.

[catsareevil]

If your daughter is competent to make the decision around seeing the doctor or not then your consent (or not) isnt really relevant here.

[cory]

One thing I have learnt over the last few years is that I am not actually inside my dd's head, I cannot tell how badly she is affected by things, only she can tell. And there is no direct correlation between how good a life looks on the outside and depression.

My opinion would be that if the school nurse (who is likely to have a lot of experience of whining teenagers) is referring her to a doctor, then the nurse may well have seen something that you haven't. Maybe your dd finds it easier to open up to a relative stranger. And tbh you do sound quite judgey about it: are you sure she would find it easy to tell you if she was feeling really bad when she knows that you don't think she has a right to be feeling like that? Lots of teens feel guilty about being depressed, because they think their family will take it as a slur on their upbringing.

I had no idea how badly my dd was coping until I saw the cuts

[Amaretti]

Of course they can. She is old enough to have a right to confidentiality. They will encourage her to talk to you though. They are doing the right thing by her. Hard though it is, you should trust them.

[lazymumofteenagesons]

IME teenagers do not want to waste their time running to the doctor when they are feeling down unless they are quite desperate. As Cory also said I have unfortunately had to learn the hard way that I am not inside my teenager's head. He is tall, goodlooking, very bright, sporty, musical, has 2 happily married parents and a home with no financial problems etc etc. But boy has he gone through hell in the last couple of years.

If she can be bothered to make the effort to go to the doctor then she probably needs to. I know nothing about the laws covering confidentiality but if she is mature enough to have got this far she is mature enough to be referred to a doctor without your permission.

[MigratingCoconuts]

I would be surprised if the school nurse refferred her without good reason, in her opinion.

Is she fully qualified and experienced? In my experience nurses do not do something like this without good reason to believe it would help.

I agree with the other posters on this one.

[BoffinMum]

I think it's good that someone has taken an interest - it means you're not on your own if there's a problem. And the Gillick thing has obviously been applied here, as other posters have said.

[chocolateyclur]

I used to run a behavioural support team and often referred to school nurse, sexual health, gp, counselling etc.

The key thing here is that the school nurse has deemed her competent under the Fraser guidelines - so she's over 13 and has clearly presented an understanding of any "issues" and consequence. She will have been encouraged to discuss with you - but the onus will have been upon her.

If the school/support were concerned about her welfare then by law they would have to pass this on to yourself via the school's child protection co-ordinator (unless of safeguarding concerns etc).

Hope that helps.