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dds let me down big time,

(9 Posts)
twoteens Wed 22-Jun-11 13:01:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dexter73 Wed 22-Jun-11 16:26:25

I think I would let it go if I were you. They have had their punishment for having the party and you won't be leaving them on their own again. I bet if you did they would have another party as they are teenagers, even though they know they will get in trouble for it.

twoteens Wed 22-Jun-11 16:55:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dexter73 Wed 22-Jun-11 17:10:05

They will know how much they have upset you but I really don't think going on about it will improve things. You have given them their punishment, now you need to draw a line under it and move on. All that will happen if you bring it up tonight will be a screaming match which will just make things worse. I have a book about teenagers and one of the bits of advice is 'One key mistake is getting involved in a no-win conflict instead of having the wisdom to shut up when shutting up would be the most effective - albeit least satisfying- thing to do.'

MiraNova Wed 22-Jun-11 19:50:29

So you arranged for them to be looked after by another adult, but they ended up not going? Did the friend's parents not contact you to let you know they'd changed the plans? I'd be cross with your DDs too, but also with the adult I'd entrusted them to.

twoteens Wed 22-Jun-11 20:53:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jade80 Wed 22-Jun-11 20:59:46

Doesn't sound like they did anything too dreadful. I know it seems worse because you're under a lot of stress, but look at what you've said. You came home and the house was 'too clean'? You don't really mention any problems, was that all you noticed? Could kind of understand you feeling so hurt and angry if you'd come home to a mess or broken stuff, but is it really worth the stress over them having a few mates round and making sure they tidied up afterwards?

dexter73 Wed 22-Jun-11 21:28:36

I think they find the silent treatment more scary than the shouting!

mamas12 Thu 23-Jun-11 00:47:18

I second the silent treatment, it will come naturally to you and they will get the message.
I ended up being so upset I couldn't bring myself to even look at mine for about a fortnight and gradually after just responding with monosyllabic answers to them I did eventually start conversations.
There is nothing wrong with showing them how disapointed you are in them and practically showing them that no keys are allowed for now, no phones after 9pm or anything else you think.
Don't shout or argue just look after yourself you need your emotional energy for your dad.
Good luck

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