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Are we failures?

(7 Posts)
anniewindsor Wed 08-Jun-11 16:59:57

Sometimes when I see how my boys behave I think there is nobody else to blame but me. My boys aren't bad really, just boys. But without a father around, it has been my decision all the way through. Their performance and behaviour is therefore down to me.
Sorry if this is a strange topic / thought. I suspect I'm just a bit down at the moment.

gingeroots Wed 08-Jun-11 19:57:55

Aaah ,chin up - I often feel like this but actually some of their behaviour is down to them ,especially if they're teenagers .
I have 4 brothers ,they all had same parenting and upbringing as self but they are very different .
Is there some specific behaviour that's upset you ?

goldtinsel Wed 08-Jun-11 21:40:03

You know, I don't agree with you.

They are teenagers I guess? They are big enough to make their own choices and unfortunately, they sometimes make bad ones. It's not your fault. You didn't fail them AT ALL because you are still there, trying to work out how to support them and guide them.

They will grown up and it will get better - I bet there are SOME good things about them smile

MavisEnderby Wed 08-Jun-11 21:44:51

Like others have said it isn't you.I have 2 very loving and supportive parents.And 2 brothers.One is amazingly together and successful the other is a nightmare...all 3 of us were given much love and encouragement.(I am finding the LP bit the hard at times,no one to share your woes with though like any mum,all we can do is the best.Mine are only little,dreading teenagerdom xxx)

anniewindsor Thu 09-Jun-11 10:05:22

Thank you for your replies. I was just feeling a bit down. When I read other posts I see the difficulties other parents face and realise that I do have it a bit easier.

Schtum Thu 09-Jun-11 10:47:11

Hang on in there anniewindsor...

It's bloody hard being a parent sometimes and having all the responsibility for everything, all of the time, must feel overwhelming from time to time.

My teenage girls can behave in ways that feel alien and baffling to me sometimes and I WAS a teenage girl once - how much more incomprehensible then, could teenage boys be.

Teenager are a funny breed at the best of time but also, part of how they are is nature - which way the genes jumped etc not just your parenting.

I wish you well and am glad you're perking up a bit. We all feel like this from time to time. Sometimes it helps to do the old thing of counting your blessings - make a list of all the things that are fabulous about your kids and that you are grateful for - also the things that you are glad they are "not"!

handmedownqueen Thu 09-Jun-11 12:37:57

we are a two parent family and Both feel the same way you do - our DSs are horrible at times totally unappreciative, rude,disrespectful. And you think whayare we doing wrong all the time. But keep your chin up. We will get em there

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