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worried about DS aged 13

(9 Posts)
teensarenojoke Sat 04-Jun-11 13:36:49

He has become more and more withdrawn from the family,verbally abusive,moody and secretive and totally apathetic about ebverything.
We live in a village and over the last few weeks has taken to riding his bike to the roughest area of the nearest town (he says he is going with posh friends) but I have found out that he texting a 16 yr old boy who is known for being in troublea lot, about meeting up on a playing field and talking about having the money and buying 'a seed' he is awake til all hours at night.but that could possibly be to do with the huge number of cans of 'relentless' I found in his room.Also i have found matches in his room.I am a bit suspicious of this bag he takes with him too.
Is this odd behaviour for an adolescent.we never had anything like this with his older brother

Maryz Sat 04-Jun-11 14:22:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inthesticks Sat 04-Jun-11 14:39:24

I would agree with Maryz who always gives excellent advice on teenagers.
We also live in a small village and I have 15 and 13 year old DSs and this is nothing like I have experienced.
I have no idea what a "seed" is .
I would talk to him very seriously. Tell him what you are worried about, that you are responsible for him and it is your job to make sure he does not do drugs and it is not appropriate for him to hang out with a 16 year old.
Can you find something totally different that interests him and get involved with him?

ragged Sat 04-Jun-11 15:03:44

Seed makes me think of a float, as in money for dealing (sorry).

happygolucky0 Sat 04-Jun-11 15:23:22

It does sound like he is hidding something from you in the way he is behaving. A seed could be a another name for a kind of drug that he wants rather than putting the actual name incase of it being read by someone.
Or a seed to start a cannabis plant maybe.
Last week I got a few books for my teen to read up on street drugs and being street wise/coping with peer pressure ect. Maybe you could do the same so that he understands the dangers of what drugs can do while you are trying to discover what is going on. Hope its just our over imagination and your son isn't getting involved with anything serious.

geraldinetheluckygoat Sat 04-Jun-11 15:36:51

I would be very worried about this, it sounds a lot like he is getting involved in either drugs or some sort of behaviour that he doesn't want you to know about. I agree with the poster who suggests that Seed is a code word for a drug, I used to do this with pot when I was a young teenager. A sixteen year old hanging around with him sounds dodgy too. Does your son have anyone who he looks up to who he might open up to like an uncle or older cousin? He is still really young and I think you need to nip this in be bud before it gets beyond your control, can you get him involved in something else, keep him busy? Can you stop him from going to the town on his bike for a time?
What are you worried about re. the bag?
How do you know about the sixteen year old's reputation?
During the summer holidays, is there any posibility to get him visiting relatives/friends that live away?

TheMonster Sat 04-Jun-11 15:39:19

Is there any way you can have a look in the bag?

Relentless is vile stuff. Can you stop him getting it?

tooposh Sat 04-Jun-11 15:42:11

Alarm bells ringing here too, I am afraid. Hmmm...the question is how to tackle it. Are there some days when you still have good communications? Can you talk to him some time about his future, his hopes and dreams, and the sorts of things he needs to be doing right now to make those come true. Perhaps you could mention that the kind of people who end up with nothing/ in and out of jail are those who take drugs and skip school when they are young and how he must make sure that he doesn't hang around with that lot if he wants his life to be successful. Tell him he is better than that, with his whole future ahead of him, and that the choices he makes right now will determine which course he goes down and that he is old enough to think about that and to take some responsibility for making the right choices. Also, try to ask if he is already in over his head and explain that if he tells you about it, the chances are that you will be able to make everything right, but that if he leaves it too long, you might not be able to help.

Good luck.

exoticfruits Sat 04-Jun-11 15:48:23

Alarm bells ring. What to do is the difficulty. Sit down and talk first.

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