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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

About to go beserk

16 replies

KathH · 03/06/2011 23:22

We have had loads of probs with dd's behaviour lately. She's 14. Lately she's got herself a boyfriend. Tonight she told me she was sleeping at her mates house. As I hadnt heard anything I texted her friend to make sure she'd arrived. Her friend texted me back to say she didnt even know dd was supposed to be there. After a call to dd's boyfriend who said he'd walked her to her mates house her friend's dad rang to say she wasnt there. DD not answering her phone neither is her boyfriend now. DH is at work on nights and I have a 6 year old in bed. To add insult to injury dd sent me a message via facebook to say she'd arrived at her friends. If I ring the police will they do anything? I dont know her boyfriends address but would put money on the fact shes there

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slartybartfast · 03/06/2011 23:25

oh dear
Angry on your behalf.
i dont imagine the police would get inovlved, but someone more knowledgable will advise.

i hope she answers soon. has she any other friends whose numbers you know?

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slartybartfast · 03/06/2011 23:27

if you didnt ahve your 6 year old in bed, what would you do?

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KathH · 03/06/2011 23:27

yes - have tried her other mates who suddenly seem to have been struck dumb

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lemonsquish · 03/06/2011 23:27

Does her friend know her boyfriend's address? Or anyone else. You must be worried

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OddBoots · 03/06/2011 23:29

Have you left a 'please call me' message on Facebook?

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lemonsquish · 03/06/2011 23:34

Just asked my DD1 who's 15 what she advises. She thinks you could ask her friend to text your DD or her boyfriend and ask them to let you know where she is. Also she said to stay calm and don't tell her that she's in big trouble, just that you're worried about her. HTH

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KathH · 03/06/2011 23:38

Thanks for the messages. I'm sure she's at her boyfriends given the fact he lied and that he's now not answering his phone. Just not sure whether toleave her there tonite given the fact I cant get to drag her back or just kill her tomorrow.

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Merrylegs · 03/06/2011 23:39

Yikes. I think if you rang the police and said your 14 year old was at her boyfriend's but you didn't know the address they'd be a bit Hmm.

God, why don't you know where he lives? How old is he? Do you know his surname? Is he in the phone book?

You think she is at her boyfriend's but you aren't 100 per cent sure. What you do know is that she is not where she says she is.

I would facebook her (post a message on her wall so her friends can see and alert her) saying you know she is not at her mates and you are really worried and you are going to ring the police if she doesn't get in touch with you.

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KathH · 03/06/2011 23:50

Have left a message on her facebook page. He's 16. I know roughly the area he lives but not the address as theyve only been going out a couple of weeks. Have looked in the phonebook but hes got quite a common surname. I never dreamt she'd do something like this otherwise I would have taken all his details down

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KathH · 03/06/2011 23:55

2of her mates havejust replied on facebook to say she's at her boyfriends

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slartybartfast · 03/06/2011 23:58

sleep on it now,
i assume she knows she is in big trouble

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StrawberryMewMew · 04/06/2011 00:02

Say to the friends that have replied that you're going to call the police if you don't find out his address. That should scare them into telling you.

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herladyship · 04/06/2011 00:03

Arent teenagers great :) please don't kill her in the morning, even though it may seem 100% justified.. There are a whole different set of laws that apply to teens!

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GetOrf · 04/06/2011 00:03

Have you left a message on FB saying 'you are in TROUBLE'

I am sorry - you must be gutted, and so worried.

Think it would be a good idea to have WORDS tomorrow. Not necessarily kick off, but just say that she has let you down hugely, and privileges are going to be taken away, say phone, laptop, pocket money or such. If she is not mature enough not to respect your bundaries and abuses your trust like this say she needs to be treated like a child.

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differentnameforthis · 04/06/2011 06:25

I'd also be having a word with the parents, who lets their 16yr old son have a 14yr girl to stay!

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Merrylegs · 04/06/2011 09:28

Also, not saying they are having sex, but he is of legal age, she is not.
Huge implications for her boyfriend.

Perhaps it would be worth getting her to read www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/age_of_consent and ask her to think about what would have happened if you had called the police and they had found a 14 year old staying the night at a 16 year old's house.

They need to see the bigger picture.

Hope she is back!

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