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How do I get my daughter to agree to go for counselling?

(6 Posts)
808080 Fri 27-May-11 15:17:28

Our teenage daughter is making life very difficult for the rest of the family. i know teenagers are expected to be rebellious and although she is very well behaved outside the home, when she is in the house she is constantly hostile towards her sister and me (my husband works abroad and is away for weeks at a time). She is verbally abusive, has a very negative attitude, can't walk past her sister without either abusing her verbally or even hitting her. She has even hit me in a recent meltdown. she steals from my purse.
On top of all of that I have recently discovered that she has been binge eating (packets of biscuits, large tubes of pringles etc in a single sitting) and doing this in secret. i discovered her hiding bags of junk food in the garden hedge and taking it out secretly when she didn't know i was watching. Anyway I've arranged for her to see a counsellor who specialises in eating disorders and I have an appointment for tomorrow however i don't know how to tell her. She is 5.8" and is taller than me so I don't want to have to drag her there physically, however i do anticipate major resistance on her part. I'm thinking the best way to broach the subject is to tell her that I'm doing it because ~i love her and I want more than anything else for her to be happy but also for life at home to b more bearable for the rest of us. All advice welcome

Wotznotnow Fri 27-May-11 17:31:55

I really have no experience in this.

Not nice for her to hit her younger sister and it is not acceptable (nor you being hit). Does she get hit by anyone? Don't answer that.

You could take the approach that child services will get involved if her abusive (hitting) behavior continues and so you have booked some counseling. She may be pleased, you never know. Then they can help with the eating disorder, which may help other issues too.

TBH if a teen who is 5.8 is hitting a younger child, if that gets reported ie via the school for instance, I think that they'd report it to child service and then they would be round to look at your home to ensure you are keeping your younger child safe.

Good luck tomorrow, I hope you both may it there.

Wotznotnow Fri 27-May-11 17:34:38

Just saw this on another thread

New-film-to-encourage-teenagers-to-go-to-counselling

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/1223383-New-film-to-encourage-teenagers-to-go-to-counselling

Maryz Fri 27-May-11 18:11:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wotznotnow Fri 27-May-11 19:36:09

Good advice Maryz. I really didn't know what to suggest, as I have no experience of this.

londoner01 Sun 29-May-11 23:54:08

If you think talking to her will cause fireworks, how about a letter, which you give to her. She can read it calmly- you can fully express yourself and she has time ot think before she replies and so is less likely to be defensive.
Just realised this is too late but might be useful for others looking- did you get her there?!

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