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A delicate question concerning teenage boys

(100 Posts)
Guttersnipe Wed 11-May-11 15:21:02

I wonder if other mums of teenage boys could reassure me about this as it is really isn't something I want to ask my mum or mil about.

I have a son, nearly 15, who has recently started either masturbating or having wet dreams, either way, every week the sheets are stained. I am fine about this - happy for him even! - but I just want to ask about basic hygiene as this is not something I have had to consider before.

Under the bed, I have a white towelling waterproof mattress cover - a hang over from the days when he sometimes wet the bed or to protect the mattress when he was ill. For ages now it has been something I would only wash once a year, not because it looked particularly grubby but as part of spring cleaning.

But since ds has been masturbating/having wet dreams, the mattress cover gets quite stained too and needs washing about once a month.

Is this what you have to do too? Partly I just want to know, out of interest, but partly also I am wondering if the stains on the mattress cover are caused by something else: I was shocked the other month to realise, for example, that at some point ds had wet the bed and covered it up - natural for him to do so at his age, I suppose, but I want to be sure he hasn't got a recurring problem.

So basically, the question is, does your son's emissions mean the mattress cover needs washing more frequently?


BitOfFun Wed 11-May-11 15:26:00

Get him to launder his own sheets and mattress cover- problem solved, he keeps his privacy and learns a new skill.

ScarlettWalking Wed 11-May-11 15:29:34

I would say he could start doing it regularly himself now really. It is a bit gross to have your mum constantly mopping up your jiz stains.

Guttersnipe Wed 11-May-11 15:30:03

Ten points for that BOF!

But seriously, I want to be sure the stains are what I think they are (on the mattress protector, the stains on the sheet even innocent little me can recognise!)

ChishAndFips Wed 11-May-11 15:34:11

I don't have a son so don't know about the mattress cover, but if you are concerned he is wetting the bed, why not just ask him?

And definitely get him to wash his own sheets. Surely you don't want to be handling his 'emissions'.

Guttersnipe Wed 11-May-11 15:38:33

No, I am totally fine about that actually. I wouldn't want him doing his own washing as putting one sheet and pillowcase into the washing machine would be a dreadful waste of electricity, water and powder. Of course, I will teach him how to look after himself, but it would involve doing a proper family wash, not just doing his own few things.

crystalglasses Wed 11-May-11 15:40:40

Why don't you just ask him if he's wet the bed recently as you've noticed a stain on the mattress cover (no need to mention the sheets). If he goes bright red it's probably the other thing. Then you can say to him that you think it's time he took responsibility for washing his own bed clothes but it must be done every week (so that he knows it's got to be done)

crystalglasses Wed 11-May-11 15:41:28

sorry - didn't see the op's post about not wanting him to d his own washing

herbietea Wed 11-May-11 15:48:04

Message withdrawn

Guttersnipe Wed 11-May-11 16:09:55

Thank you.

I must admit, it had not occurred to me that it was impolite to masturbate on the sheet, but I can see your point.

You can tell I am a bit new to dealing with a sexually active (in one sense) boy.

AgentProvocateur Wed 11-May-11 16:44:27

Wait until you have to go under the bed to gather the pile of crusty socks... wink

Batteryhuman Wed 11-May-11 16:47:15

Box of tissues by the bed.
Beds stripped and sheets etc by the washing machine on saturdays.
whoever is last up (I have 2 teenage DSs) puts them in the machine AND turns it on (tooka while for them to get the latter).
Clean sheets left outside the door of their rooms.
If they don't remake the beds they have no where to sleep.

paulapantsdown Wed 11-May-11 16:49:10

jeez ... I have all this to come (sic!)?!

mine are still at the wiping their bogies on the pillow stage - and I thought THAT was gross!

TheVisitor Wed 11-May-11 16:50:11

Mine always stripped his own bed and stuck the bedding in the wash. The last thing I would have done is brought up his wanking in conversation! I just do all bedding on a hot wash.

crystalglasses Wed 11-May-11 16:52:53

I wouldn't like to talk about wanking to boys - but then I don't have any

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 16:55:19

make it the norm to have a toilet roll by the side of the bed, in case of 'nose bleeds' ? and wash the mattress cover along with the sheets - get the lad to take them off himself.

a good friend, who had older kids than mine, told me you just have to learn to do certain things with your eyes shut.

bloody good advice i thought smile

toddlerama Wed 11-May-11 16:56:27

I would be concerned that he is just wanking into his bedding and sleeping on it all week! Is this really standard teenage boy behaviour? Does he know you know? I only have DDs and they are young so I'm really taken aback by this. Wet dreams, fine but deliberately wanking into the bed you sleep in and knowing that your mum cleans it up??? High time he did his own laundry. He must be embarrassed.

BitOfFun Wed 11-May-11 17:00:45

There is no need to just wash his sheets thought- just tell him to chuck a couple of towels in with them, or anything else that needs a hottish wash, so the machine isn't running half-empty. He is well old enough to be doing this.

ScarlettWalking Wed 11-May-11 17:22:06

I think it is a bit disrespectful for him to do this and expect you to clean up after him being really frank. I would nip this in the bud. I had a ss and at this age he would be putting a wash on in the morning.

ScarlettWalking Wed 11-May-11 17:23:46

That should read I have a dss - silly phone!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl Wed 11-May-11 17:31:47

I did talk to my dses about this - I felt it was better to be direct about it. I think you need to be honest with him - tell him that his mattress cover is getting stained, and ask him to put it in the wash each week - plus tissues and bin by the bed.

Guttersnipe Wed 11-May-11 17:52:31

Oh I really didn't expect everyone to tell me he should be washing his own sheets. But I should have known better as I know what it can be like on MN.

I really only wanted reassurance that semen results in stains going through to the mattress cover and that therefore that is what the stains are. I am a bit innocent in these matters.

I wouldn't dream of asking him about his wanking habits. I would have died if my mother had asked me about mine!

TheSecondComing Wed 11-May-11 17:57:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 11-May-11 18:00:33

<Mother of two adult sons>

Yes, the stains are almost certainly from wet dreams. It's unlikely he's masturbating onto the sheets because that's just a bit too ick even for a teenage boy (and the poster who tought that he'd have nowhere to sleep if he didn't make his own bed hasn't met any of the teenage lads I know. They'd quite happily sleep in the mattress with no sheets or duvet cover. grin).

As others have said, tissues/bog roll at the side of the bed, and a bucket he learns to empty himself.

Theoretically, mine are/were in charge of stripping their own beds, washing the sheets and re-making; in practice, it takes a bit of nagging when it occurs to me that it's been some time since I last saw their sheets.

But I may have unusually skanky kids.

BitOfFun Wed 11-May-11 18:18:42

Guttersnipw, what do you mean, this is what MN is like? grin

What on earth is the issue with teaching an almost fifteen year old how to use the washing machine? He might have left home in three years. Don't you want him to be responsible and caring and a good bet as a future partner? Because you aren't helping him by mollycoddling him. It's a lot harder to suddenly start expecting an 18 year old to do a proper share of household chores when you've been carrying their arse for their entire adolescence.

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