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Nearly 13 yr old DS wants to buy Nuts magazine

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tigerandtabs Tue 03-May-11 21:03:29

My nearly 13 yr old son wants to buy Nuts magazine. Having had a quick look at it, DH and I not happy as feel is too extreme at this age. Any views or suggestions for less extreme Alternatives? Not to worried about what is an entirely natural interest in bare breasts but just a bit concerned that buying him this now will lead to him wanting something even more extreme next!

thisisyesterday Tue 03-May-11 21:09:21

there is no way i would buy any of my sons any kind of pornography, "soft" or otherwise.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 03-May-11 21:13:48

Isn't the magazine a 15 or an 18 confused

I wouldn't be buying that or cordoning that as I'm anti-porn - pop over to the feminist thread and have a read of the threads on pornography.

If you're not anti-pornography maybe you could just say you wont buy it as it's not for his age group - it must be restricted so children can't buy it.

Selks Tue 03-May-11 21:14:29

Nuts is a 'lads mag' of the most repulsive kind, as far as I have seen. I would be concerned not just about the bare boobs, which are obviously inappropriate for that age group, but about the kind of attitudes towards women that are commonly pushed in a magazine of that type.
Could he instead have a magazine that relates to an interest, e.g. football, computer games etc?

LaurieFairyCake Tue 03-May-11 21:16:05

Just looked at it online - it's described as a 'mens' magazine.

I would also think that buying pornography for a 12 year old is a criminal offence.

Counterstrike Tue 03-May-11 21:21:54

there already at eye level for younger ones! but no.

ilovesprouts Tue 03-May-11 21:23:13

no hes too young

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Tue 03-May-11 21:24:59

another one who will be having a big talk with her son when he starts wanting to buy pornography. whatever your views on it though, 12 is far, far too young to start learning how to objectify women like that

I also think magazines like that demean men - isn't it all talk about cars, women and flatulence, insinuating the whole male race has 2 brain cells in its entierity?

Pagwatch Tue 03-May-11 21:25:14

That is a very short conversation.

No. I don't think gormless, pornographic shit constitutes a great purchase for a child.

tigerandtabs Tue 03-May-11 21:44:09

Ok well that 's me told... Actually, thanks for all that, very helpful to have my initial instincts confirmed and reinforced. Is too easy to go along with what seems general view in media that all young teens are Having sex and endlessly looking at porn and that parents just need to accept it.

valiumbandwitch Tue 03-May-11 21:47:38

NO way. This magazine HATES women. It mocked Ellen McARthur for looking like a geezer. The only thing it values in a woman is fuckability.

I would explain to my son why the magazine would damage the way he thought about women. Women are not just sexual objects for men's amusement, and women's value is not how fuckable men consider them to be.

shudder. awful magazine. I have a son though. So on the plus side, be glad your son asked you and didn't sneak it in to house. I'd tear seven strips off any shop that sold that to a boy.

tigerandtabs Tue 03-May-11 21:52:04

Gulp, feeling rather naive and bit inadequate as parent of nearly teen... Is it too late to ask maternity unit to cryogenically freeze him for a few years until I more prepared?

c0rn51lk Tue 03-May-11 21:53:28

He won't be able to buy it for himself, so problem solved. Is this a peer pressure thing?

tigerandtabs Tue 03-May-11 21:56:34

Oh absolutely a peer pressure thing, ie "everyone at school looks at it...." as valiumbandwitch says, is good he asked and we can have what I sure is first of many conversations about sex and drugs and rock and roll....

thisisyesterday Tue 03-May-11 21:58:34

i am guessing that maybe his friends are saying they have it, and he wants it too?

i DO think it's good that he asked you though! you must have a nice open relationship with him that he felt you would do it, or might do it iyswim?
which means you ought to be able to tell him why you don't think it's appropriate.

thisisyesterday Tue 03-May-11 22:15:21

so, how can we ensure that our teen boys don't get sucked into the world of pornograhpy?

i think it's natural for them to want to see women's bodies, and i can see that they might easily b e lured down the porn route by other boys at school etc...

tigerandtabs Tue 03-May-11 22:23:28

Yeah, think I had been focussing on the normal to want to look at breasts thing and had lost sight of how horrible those mags are and also that just because a child wants something, normal or otherwise, we need to take a slow, considered look at whether we let them have it. Open conversation is the only way we wil steer them through all this stuff - am feeling my way through where open conversation strays into condoning stuff we not happy with.....

BerniW Wed 04-May-11 15:22:00

A friend of mine actually subscribed to it when her ds was about 14 in the hope that it would stop him looking at the "unregulated" hardcore stuff available all over the internet. Tbh I didn't think it was such a bad idea. We have caught both our ds looking at porn on the internet at around 13 years old - it's natural curiosity. However, they were told that I didn't want any of "that stuff" under my roof as I find it personally so degrading. Haven't noticed them doing it since (they probably worked out how to hide it better!). Don't think I'd buy your son the mag, but let him know that his curiousity is normal, but you still find it degrading etc if necessary.

Pagwatch Wed 04-May-11 15:29:35

I agree with thisisyesterday. It is a good sign for your relationship that he asked.
And it is a good opportunity to discuss with him your morals and standards.
The desire to look at naked women is understandable. But that dies not mean that we nod along and let our child buy shit. Or would we say to a child curious about drugs that they can try some because that curiosity is natural too.

Don't be afraid to tell your child what you find acceptable and not. Sometimes they want the boundaries,sometimes "no, my mum would go batty" is a relief.

And one tip. You should never ever believe a teenager telling you that "everyone does" anything . It is rarely true.
And even if it is, other parents can be stupid or easily peer pressures. Sometimes it takes one parent to say "err,no"
I don't ever care what others do.

tigerandtabs Thu 05-May-11 11:27:37

thanks, that's all very helpful, berniw and pagwatch, and pretty much in line with where we were getting to, so nice to have some reinforcement!

Robinwhite Sun 03-Apr-16 17:44:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Buzzardbird Sun 03-Apr-16 17:51:04

Reported

HelpfulChap Sun 03-Apr-16 17:58:49

Nuts magazine panders to the lowest common denominatot.

I was vox-popped for Nuts TV once - I don't think my answers were viewer friendly. No idea if it ever got aired though.

Nibbl3s Sun 03-Apr-16 17:59:07

Pigs would fly before I bought a 12 year old porn.

HelpfulChap Sun 03-Apr-16 17:59:44

Denominator.

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