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How do I tell if my teen minds me working away from home?

(3 Posts)
mumwhoworksaway Mon 10-Jan-11 21:36:15

Hi All,

Am looking for some advice. Last May (2010) due to financial constraints I needed to find work away from home. Local wages just didn't meet the bills and subsequently I find myself in England during the week and back home in Wales at weekends.
Trouble is, I can't tell if my DS of 14 is troubled/pleased/bothered/upset...... ( at this stage I should mention that DS has Aspergers Syndrome, which tends to mean that normal teenagerdom is exaggerated)

At home there is DH, DS and DH's dad (all boys together) and yes relocation ( when I finally get a perm role) is an option but not until DS has done his GCSEs and possibly A levels, so the situation isn't likely to improve for a couple of years..

In true teenage style, if I ask DS, how he is I get a grunt, if he's happy I get the same reaction... he spends alot of time in his room ( which I guess is normal teenage behaviour)..
He is not any moodier since I started working away, in fact there has been no change in his personality at all, should I take this as a good thing?

I think I may have more of a problem with it than everyone else in the household.. I feel so guilty... but I know I have to keep a roof over the families head.
Any advice offered is gratefully received...

AMumInScotland Tue 11-Jan-11 12:42:16

I would think that, if he doesn't seem upset and his behaviour and personality haven't changed, then he is fine about it. I know it can be hard to tell with teens, and the Aspergers will make him less communicative still, but they generally have ways of showing their displeasure at things even if they can't/won't tell you why.

Do his dad and grandad say he's fine during the week too? He's not playing them up all week then going silent at the weekend? If they think he's the same all week then I think you have to assume he's fine about it, and accept the fact that he's not upset! It probably feels a bit hurtful that he (and your DH) manage fine without you, and the guilt of not being there will always make you worry. But it sounds like it's ok, and the continuing routines of the house are reassuring to your DS.

maryz Tue 11-Jan-11 17:34:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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