PS3, xbox, etc ...how long is too long ?

[porkypoo]

My 14 yr old DS loves his PS3, but we are at odds as to how long is too long on it per day. Please tell me how long you let your teenager play on theirs so I know if it is 'normal'......

BTW currently he comes in at 4 and depending on homework can be on it for 2 hours no problem and then possibly another hour after tea too.....advice greatly received!

[snowedinthesticks]

I have a 14 year old DS.
He's not allowed on in the morning.
On school nights he can have 2 hours,when homework is finished, and at weekends he has a little more, usually later at night on line with friends.

He has to have a day a week with none.

This may seem a lot but he never watches TV and I wonder how many hours some children clock up watching tv?

I am the meanest mother on the planet because all his friends are allowed more x box than him apparently.

[AMumInScotland]

I don't set any limit on DS, and he is pretty conscientious about homework and music practice. He will play on it for a couple of hours in an evening, and more at weekends if he has the time.

As long as he isn't neglecting anything else, I don't see any problem.

[porkypoo]

snowedinthesticks im heading towards meanest mother on planet too, so you are not alone! One day off a week....really not sure he will go for that one...

He speaks with a friend on the landline phone constantly, whilst playing...I thought thats what headsets are for? We are brewing a row on that issue too - lol.

Does Self Limit actually work for you guys...I suppose its a trust issue too eh?

[MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic]

Our consoles are attached to the TV in the living room and I have three DC (and a DH at weekends!) who want to play on it, so it pretty much limits itself. Probably about an hour after school, and longer at the weekends, but broken into chunks of time as they take turns (DCs are almost 13, 10 and 7) PC time is flexible, as they use it for lots of different things and gaming is only a small part of it.

[Bellabellabella]

Ooh, we are really mean! 17 year old only allowed it during school holidays. Watches a bit of tv,no more than an hour usually a night.

[mumblechum]

We're very similar to you, Riven, ds has just finished two weeks of mocks and didn't play om the ps3 for more than a couple of hours during the fortnight because he knew he had to work.

Yesterday, he'd finished his mocks and played for 6 hours straight. No problem so far as I'm concerned because he'd been sensible about revision.

Am a bit that Bella's almost adult son is ok about having gaming time limited.

[Stricnine]

Another one that self-limits .. I've found all the way through her childhood with TV and now teenage years with X-Box/Wii and PC that she'll have periods where she really wants to play something/be online and other times when she hardly touches it - totally within her control. I feel if we impose restrictions it makes the screen time more appealing (by the very act of restricting it)... so have never gone down that line (same with sweets & treats actually too) and now at 14 she's responsible, helpful and (other than some normal teenage traits) quite pleasant to be around! :)

[titchy]

Interesting about self-limiting. I've never thought of doing that... Have ds, just 10, who I suspect would be on pc 4 hours a night plus all day at the weekends.....

He's only at primary so not a lot of homework. Does music practice, 10 mins a night, and a couple of after school activities each week. And has friends over one night a week.

He does get very stroppy when his pc time is up though so I worry about letting him self-limit.

Would it work do others think? Maybe when he's at secondary and the homework load is greater...?

[IloveJudgeJudy]

I agree with the self-limiting, if your child can do this! Luckily for me, DS1 can do this - not play for weeks, then play for 4 hours on one day at the weekend then another 3 the next. But then he goes out with friends, plays football, etc. However, DS2 12 finds it quite hard to self-limit. He is getting better, but is a completely different character from DS1.

Wrt the headset and the landline, the idea is that you pay £40 I think for Xbox live gold and then you can speak to your friends who have this for as long as you want when you want so long as they are also online. However, as I understand it if your DS is just generally online others can join in and they might not always be pleasant. I think there is a way that DCs can just play with whoever they want in some kind of private game. The landline is not involved in any of this.

[titchy]

Ok - self-limiters. On a practical sense how does it work in terms of bedtime, and letting others use the tv or pc? (One tv, one pc household here)....

[mumblechum]

We have one tv in the sitting room which dh and I watch occasionally, ds never.

DS has a big flat screen telly & cinema surround sound system in his room with his ps3. I did worry at first (this was all Xmas presents which dh chooses), that he'd never come out of his room, and he does spend quite a lot of time in his room, but at 16 I don't think that's unusual, and he does row 5 times aweek, goes to parties etc so he's not a complete veg.

When his old ps3 was attached to the downstairs telly, we'd hoof him off if we wanted to watch something but we only watch about two things a week so never an issue.

[Stricnine]

DD plays xbox/wii on the TV in the lounge so negotiation is required for time on that - I play it too though and we have some great family games going as well ... (she beats the pants off me!)
She hardly watches TV these days anyay.
She self limits her PC time and is good about homework (she's 14 not sure how that equates to the English system, S3 in Scotland)... does a lot of self-help via the pc/msn with the rest of her class so it's quite social, but this is in her own room.
Never had a major problem with bedtime she likes her sleep but maybe we're lucky with that one!

[snowedinthesticks]

I'd love to think they could self limit.
DS1 did give it up for 6 weeks for a bet,he has more will power than his mother.
The thing is that despite other interests such as running and football his number one choice of entertainment is x box.We live in a tiny village and all his friends are in rural areas in a 25 mile radius so he can't easily socialise.

Riven is right about the need for self regulation once they are out of the clutches of their control freak mother. I worry about it. Perhaps I need to experiment with "self-limiting".
I had a long chat with DS2 about the perils of excessive gaming. Clearly I struck home as he made a big show of not playing on it the next day. Since we got it he has never before voluntarily chosen not to play.


Ours is on the main tv which belongs to me after 8pm. DS1 goes on after I'm in bed on a weekend.

Incidentally there are headsets called Turtle Beach which, unlike the standard ones, mute the racket of the game. The player can then hear both game play and chat to friends over the head set.

DS tends to play in private games with a group of school friends. In public games he switches off the chat as it's pretty moronic.

[rose1927]

As long as my son was up to date with school work, doing well at schoool, able to get up in the mornings and still socialising with his friends he did not time limit on his games. He would play most of his free time for weeks and then not at all for weeks.

[Bellabellabella]

Am a bit shock that Bella's almost adult son is ok about having gaming time limited.

Mumblechum - he needs an incentive to get school work done etc and thems the rules! When he pays rent for his room he can do what he likes . Almost adult? My baby?

He is fine about it and does lots of other stuff.

[webwiz]

We follow the same sort of rules as rose1927 but DS(14) does have to come off the xbox by 9pm to make sure he gets some wind down time before he goes to bed. He has just had a growth spurt and needs a bit of extra sleep!