Well no surprise there then.(9 Posts)
Today is my birthday, Had a lovely day at work, went out for lunch only to come home to a tirade of abuse from DD.
She had rung earlier in the day to request that we take her to sports world to buy her some track suit bottoms so she can play out in the snow if it materialised. I said we will see, now DH had asked her last night to empty the dishwasher today (excluded from school for defiance, no school work, so not exactly doing much), both of us work, so this morning I asked her before went out of the door to do the washing up (all of 8 items, dishwasher clean and needed emptying), both of us returned home from work, no washing up done, no emptying dishwasher, DD wants to go to sports world, DH asked why had she not done the 2 things we asked her, she stated that she was going to do it later (heard that one some many times), so he made a point of why should we take her to Sports World and buy her trackie's when she cannot be bothered to do things we asked, this then started the tirade of F*** words,go die you C*** I have refused to take her to Sports World and refused to buy a nice tea if this is the way we are treated. Not once has she wished me happy birthday, but she only went and opened the box an ate the chocolate flakes off it. That just shouts lack of respect for us which we keep telling the SW.
Just like any other day then !!
dont know your story, but taking away ALL privileges sounds like the best thing.
I wonder if with teens you have to have very explicitly stated rules. This is our contract, I'll do this bit and you do this bit. The contract starts again each day but if either side doesn't do their part, then the contract is off for that day and everything is back on the table for renegotiation (for that day).
Maybe I'm talking out of my arse, was trying to think of something that might make things better in future.
i agree with ragged. i think you need very clear, very direct rules.
i also don't see why new tracksuit bottoms are necessary for snow. the snow may last a few days or a few weeks. she will probably get bored of playing in it afetr a few hours and not look near it again for teh whole time it is here. i don't think that justifies new clothes. can't she wear something she already has if she decides to play in it? i woul just tell her this. i think i would have trouble stifling the laughs if ds asked for new clothes to play in the snow. is your DD used to getting soemthing just because she asks?
Unfortunately been there and done that, only worked for a short period of time and usually broken by DD. As taking privileges away, done this as well, all though unable to take phone away as this would enter into a physical confrontation or smashing the house up.
We just have to keep taking one day at a time.
I agree with you and told her so, that she can wear her jeans to play in the snow, but it is the same old routine, when she asks and does not get, we get a tirade of abuse. She has her pocket money each week, minus any deducted consequences and if she chooses to buy food rather than make up, clothes, cd, then that is her own fault. There is plenty of food in the house, crisps, biscuits, fruit, bread, cheese, ham etc. DD expects life to owe her something and we all know the reality of this. Have tried on so many occasions to explain this but there is no talking to her or any reasoning. We just get child like behaviour. There are house rules, curfews, consequences and these are stuck to by us, but does not stop the tirade or the fact that she walks out of the house and does what she wants. I am no longer washing her clothes other than school uniform, if she does not eat her tea, too bad, no ironing, not cleaning. Christmas will be interesting. considering the amount of abuse we get do you all think we should buy christmas presents, she is expecting some money to buy clothes
I think some presents must be bought, yes. She'll remember it all her life otherwise. No doubt she will want an iphone and be disappointed in what she does get but at least as an adult there is a chance that she will see that she was being unreasonable, whereas if you get her nothing I think you would be.
Stocking fillers have been bought and some costly, no iphone thankfully, just wants a new stereo and money. I do agree with buying some presents, but my father and brother would comment on why have we given her stuff when she can be so vile, cut her off completely. Either way I am sure to get it in the neck if not from them but her. I am not mean by no stretch of the imagination but it would be good to get a whole host of advice on this.
Perhaps this would be a good thread to post views on Christmas gifts for horrible teens.
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