call duty black ops

[clue]

I have a 13year old boy nearly fourteen and keeps on about wanting this game but it is rated 18 which I don't agree with him playing. he sees his dad every weekend and plays 18 games which causes conflict when he comes back home. Do most parents have this problem with the call of duty game.

[MaudOHara]

There is no way DS (12) will be playing this game.

Whenever DS has managed to play much older war type games at other peoples houses I have found him to come home very agressive and unpleasant - I really think the effect of these games on young mindsshould not be under-estimated.

[Mumcure]

Clue, I have the same problem as you. My DS is 13 as well. He hasn't got this game but his father has bought other 18 games which we have promptly taken from him. It causes all sorts of tension, arguments etc. Quite frankly I would like to put the PS3 plus all the games in the bin. The war games are the worst and all the boys at school have this or something similar or are pestering their parents for it. Not sure I am overreacting but its so difficult to know what to do for the best especially now that they say they are socialising using the games through online play. No one wants their child to be left out of the group...

[Mumcure]

But surely if its an 18 certificate then there is a reason for this? The problem is everyone is taking a different approach. Some allow it, some restrict it and some parents are banning it. It is difficult to know what the best approach is. We are coming around to the idea of allowing it but restricting it to one block of time per week. DS isn't even happy with this. We have friends who don't want us to allow it all as this would put them in a difficult position with their children.

[Niceguy2]

Personally I don't see the big deal.

I played army, cowboy & indians as a child. beat em up games on the computer when I was older. One of my all time favourite games when I was around 13 was Mortal Kombat where you can rip someone's spine out or pull out your opponent's beating heart. Not once have I ever tried to do either of those things in real life.

I think you are really doing yourself a disservice by banning it. To what end? Do you really think so little of your son that you doubt his ability to separate reality from fiction?

I suppose you will also be banning Spooks which obviously violent and shows terrorism. Best not watch Robin Hood either. It openly promotes theft and criminality.

Personally I'd be more concerned at the crap they can learn from Eastender's & Coronation street. Those things are far more likely to happen than your kids ending up in a desert armed with a machine gun and some grenades.

[HotchpotchHoney]

my 13yr odl ds got this game at the weekend and its no worse than any other of the war games that he can play online.
He certainly does not display aggressive or unreasonable behaviour after playing this type of game.

[scurryfunge]

I have let my 16 year old have it.I like to think he doesn't want to go out murdering people because of the way we have brought him up, not because of games he plays.

[DandyDan]

Same as Herbietea and Niceguy2. My sons have played these games from being about 13. Both are kind, mild and gentle and fairly academic - neither have played these games and come away from them in any kind of down or aggressive mood.

Aged 16 you can join the army, have sexual relations (and get married with permission), but you can't watch or play 18-rated games/films. Kids will be kind and considerate and know the difference between fiction and real life if you bring them up like that.

I would also consider that storylines and ways of behaving (and responding to life situations) in EastEnders, for example, set a terrible example to kids pre-18. The outraged shouting and stormings-off and hysterical tears and cheating and devious behaviour which normalises these responses: answering back when parents tell you off or when a boyfriend dumps you in a particular way because you hear the same kinds of phrases and "chat" in soap dialogue. Pretending to be a soldier with a number of "lives" and a big gun who races around killing zombies or coyotes, is make-believe.

Fair enough that it's not for small children. But from 12-13 yrs up, it's a more complex matter. All the boys this age I know play on these games, and are nice boys and have great fun being online with their mates.

[inthesticks]

Thank you and well put Niceguy2. I get fed up with the holier than thou attitude sometime expressed on here about these games. I suspect a lot of the comments come from people who have much younger children and not teenage boys.
I have never allowed my boys to watch those soaps which I think give a warped and hideous image of life.
I also have two gentle well behaved boys who enjoy playing and socialising with school friends on COD and know it's just a game.

[Niceguy2]

Hi Maryz. I think the first part of your post, the logic is sound. You are right, it's not a good thing for a child to always get what they want. But that's a different reason to banning it than purely based on stupid age restriction.

The latter part is more complex. Firstly I have to say that I allow my DS(9) to play COD but I won't let him play online either.

That said I have to say that at 12/13, I'd probably let him in short bursts. Yes the language is terrible but nothing he won't have heard at school on a daily basis. No it doesn't make it right but our job is to prepare them for the world and part of that is to slowly give them rope and space to learn. At least with the console, you can monitor it and turn it off if it gets out of hand. Oh and I'd much rather they played with random strangers on COD than in chat rooms with them.

[Niceguy2]

So it's not really the game, it's the fact he can't self regulate.

For gods sake don't let him play world of Warcraft then!!!!!

[inthesticks]

Hmm. Not sure my two would self regulate.
I am very fierce about limiting time on there and woe betide them if they don't come off straight away when I tell them dinner is on the table.
I've heard WoW is addictive. DS1 is quite obsessive and I had already decided not to allow it for that reason, should he ask.He used to be OTT about runescape.

[lljkk]

There was an serving Para on a radio phone in the other day and he was saying how shocked he was that anybody would let their children play this. I found what he said quite compelling.

DS (11) has Star Wars Commando which is rated 12 and too violent. Ought to be rated 14+ imho. He is another who shows no ability to self-regulate. And DH is convinced that DS is more aggressive after playing shoot-em-up games (not least because he won't stop to eat or drink while he's on!).

[SpringHeeledJack]

I'm interested in the views here

I have a 13yo ds. Last year we had all sorts of carry on as I wouldn't let him buy 18 games for the xbox ("it says 18 for a reason, sunshine")- but there's something about this one that I find particularly eeewww- possibly something to do with the fact that when I was his age my parents were making me go on CND demos! I also got the line "all my friends have it" which- uniquely- turned out to be the case. Funnily enough, out of the few parents I've spoken to about this, none of them would dream of letting their dss play GTA "because of the swearing" - yet are quite happy for the kids to be playing COD.

I have had to tread a fine line with this- I have allowed ds to play at other people's houses, as I didn't want to wish Social Death on him. He's now a bit more reflective about it (from weeping and door slamming when I told him he couldn't buy it)- he says he likes playing it, but it's like an army recruitment video. For now, at home, he seems to be quite happy obsessively playing Fifa 11

[lia66]

Have bought this for my 13 yr ds for Xmas, he is allowed one hour every day on his xbox and no more. He doesn't haveloads of games, he gets the latest one, then plays it to death and trades it when next one comes out. Doesn't make him agressive, he knows the difference between real and imagination.

About GTA it has scenes of attempted rape as far as I xcan remember, cod is like the army surely?

[lia66]

See this is what I don't get

"not least because he won't stop to eat or drink when he's on"

You're the parent, turn it off if he won't have food or drink.

[Niceguy2]

Exactly. When you look at the root cause, often it's not the violence which is the problem but the kid not being properly supervised. If my DS got aggressive/rude or refused to eat/drink then I'd ban him.

As for the para thing. I read Andy Mcnab in the Metro today saying that he didn't see a problem.

As for Warcraft, it's lethally addictive. I wasted years of my life to it. I see kids on it late at night and their mums screaming at them lol. Avoid!

[SpringHeeledJack]

WoW looks like fuuuuuun to me

Ds doesn't want it "cos it's neeky"

tsk

[SpringHeeledJack]

as for Andy McNab giving COD the ok for little kids- that cements my resolve in not getting it for ds, tbh

[lljkk]

I do turn it off, Lisa, but it's not easy to perfectly time turning it off before DS gets too hungry (not unless I want to go with DH's idea of only 30 min. a day, which is a bit too control freak for me).

[lia66]

lljkk

Do I know you? Or was that simply a coincindental misspelling and it turned out to be my real name? :)

See what you mean abou timing, we allow one hour per day.

[lljkk]

Neah, sorry to spook you, just a typo.
We strictly limit, but for things like his birthday he wants all day time -- then I have to heavily impose the condition about stopping for a proper meal. And sometimes (like if he knows he's going to be away on the weekend) he takes his time in advance which could mean several hours all at once.

I once thought that if I just left him to it he would burn out and self-moderate... ah, no. Doesn't work like that .

Ds wants a beebee gun, Modern Warfare, loads of things age rated beyond what I like him to be doing!

We let him buy Sims2.. (age 12+, I did think it was age 7+, not sure about that mixup ) which features no violence, but yes to simulated sex (Dc think that is HILARIOUS). Sigh.