To tattoo or not to tattoo....

[freckles86]

Hurrah! A tattoo board!

Anyhow. I have two tattoos, both sentimental. Bit of back story:

My first was a few months ago on my inner wrist. It is in memory of my Dad. I desperately wanted a hummingbird - they're brave little creatures, every day is a fight for survival and are a symbol of perseverance. With such a fine life between life and death, they're a reminder to not take life for granted. My Dad was the most courageous person I knew, he fought a long and eventually debilitating illness but never gave up and kept his head held high.

Anyhow, I ended up with wildflowers to represent his resting place. DH was not on board with the whole tattoo idea and begged me to not get the bird as he thought it would look really bad. I was called all names under the sun (incredibly judgemental) and eventually to keep the peace and because I was desperate for SOMETHING, I got the wildflowers. We were going through a really awful time and since then, things have majorly turned around and we're happier than we've ever been. As such, he's now totally on board with the tattoo idea!! Even considering a half sleeve himself (he's learned to chill the hell out and in his words "not live with a stick up his arse!"). Hurrah!

But I still want the bird.

So. I considered covering my flowers, although upon researching this idea, realised that I'm now really quite attached to it and if nothing else, it reminds me to not pay so much attention to what every other bugger thinks.

I've come up with a new design with several elements. Some to represent the hard work of a relationship, my hummingbird and my favourite flowers. Black and grey dotwork, a style that I'm pretty confident is fairly timeless.

I can't understand though why I am SO up and down with "should I, shouldn't I". It's a fairly big piece, covering my shoulder blade, creeping up over my shoulder and a little way, maybe a third down my arm. I'm in love with the design and the thought of it but I'm still worried about it. My flowers I was nervous but it was my first, the second tattoo, a little one on my inner ankle, I had no hesitations, I knew what I wanted, where I wanted it and that was that.

This one though, I guess because it's a big and visible piece (that I can easily cover with certain tops) I'm more hesitant.

I worry what others will think I guess (my flowers aren't doing their job!!!).

I think I just need someone to tell me to go for it. One min I'm dead excited and want to go for it (waiting for a quote from the artist). Then 24 hours later I'm wondering if it's a bad idea. My husband loves it and thinks it will look pretty. But it's plaguing my every waking thought!

Words of wisdom anyone?

[ToriaPumpkin]

I'm having a similar dilemma just now. I've got six tattoos already and am booked for my seventh on Saturday. But for some reason the placement of this one (behind my ear, usually covered by my hair) is making me swither!

Could you speak to an artist and ask them to draw/transfer it onto you so you can see what it'll actually look like? A friend did that with her wrist to be sure she really loved it (back in the days before wrist tattoos were particularly mainstream)

[ToriaPumpkin]

By the way, this is the first one I've swithered over. The others I've just "known". I think it's a comfort zone thing. I'm from a very strait laced family but have tattoos and piercings that my mother barely conceals her dislike of and have never hesitated before. Getting one that can be so visible feels like a big step.

[freckles86]

Funnily enough I was just talking to my husband - he's going to draw something similar on me later to see how it looks.

My Mum is very well to do and hasn't even passed comment on my wrist tattoo - but then I haven't made a point of "showing" her either. I was expecting a "what on earth is that!!?" remark when she spotted it, but nothing. She's very anti-tattoos and not afraid to say it so a massive one on my shoulder should be interesting!

The artist I wanted to book in with has actually closed her diary for now =( But they've got a guest artist in who's style is pretty spot on, so there would be no opportunity for a mock up unfortunately, he's only there for 4 days. =/

[Fink]

I have three tattoos. The first two are practically invisible. One you would only see if I were wearing a swimming costume or less, so I usually forget it's there. The second can only be seen if I'm in a strappy top or less, so again it's hardly ever on show.

The third one I decided I wanted somewhere slightly more visible, so I didn't completely forget about it like the others, but still somewhere that could be covered up for work. I ended up getting it on my lower leg, about six inches above the ankle. In my mind, this would be covered by trousers and most dresses so I would consciously choose when to wear a shorter dress and have it on show. In practice, I found out quite quickly that all my nice dresses are shorter and so it's always on show when I'm wearing my smart frocks and never on show when I'm dressed more casually. What I would actually prefer is to have the situations reversed: have it visible day to day but not when I'm all glammed up.

So although I really want a fourth, I now have no idea where to put it!

I agree with pp. Maybe you could wear a temporary design of a similar size to get used to it and see how you feel. It would also help if (like me) there's a gap between your perception of what clothes would cover it and what actually does! A big piece over your shoulder and arm will be on show through most of summer and in most party outfits, maybe if you tried a few on (in the warmth of the bedroom!) while you've got the transfer on you'd see how it feels.

[freckles86]

The really daft thing is when I was considering having my wrist one covered, the design would have gone up my inner forearm....hardly discrete! And was more than happy with the idea of it. For some reason, having it on the other arm just doesn't feel right. I've played with the idea of other placements (ribs etc) but again, the shoulder just feels right. Scary though!

[freckles86]

Great advice Fink!

Yeah, I figured it would be on display throughout summer unless I put on a Cardigan (which I often do). I actually quite like the idea of it just peaking out from underneath the sleeve of a t-shirt. But will definitely get Husband to draw something on and then play with outfits.

I was put off having it on my ribs as instantly, I was trying to figure out what I could wear to show it off! (not a lot!!!). I really want to be able to easily show it off when I want, but cover when I want also! Surprisingly difficult.

[MarsBarsAreShrinking]

I think if you're still hesitating you should wait. Without wishing to state the obvious, once it's done it's done and there's no going back (laser treatment is always an option of course but it's expensive and incredibly painful). It sounds like a lovely design and you need to 100% sure before you commit. What about, as a sort of compromise, having just the bird first and possibly adding the other elements at a later date, would that work?

I think you need to look at what is making you hesitate. Could it be that your H's original opinion is still in the back of your mind? It sounds like he was a bit of a git about it but that's not what your post was about so I'll say no more on that point. It's not nice though when your partner/husband/boyfriend is so dead against something that means a lot to you... my ex hated my tattoos and it certainly put me off showing them off.

[freckles86]

Mars, possibly, I'm not sure. A few of his words may have stuck with me. It was particularly difficult to hear as it was as you say, of something so important to me, not like it was a random, spur of the moment, pick a design off a sheet kind of deal.

I'm tempted to just go on the waiting list for my original artist. At least, that way I'll have a little more time to just sit on the idea.

I'm not sure about having just the bird as I would worry that when the time came, incorporating it into a larger design may make it look a little disjointed!

I'm also realising I'm worried about the reaction of my Mum and sisters (although my sisters were fully supportive of my wrist tattoo)