Maternal Age(13 Posts)
I am researching what mothers and mothers to be believe is the ideal age to have a baby regarding medical reasons and practical reasons. Any information and opinions that mothers can provide me with would be extremely beneficial.
It's a completely individual thing. There is no ideal age, it's dependent on so many factors, emotional, physical and practical.
I'm 27 and have just reached the stage in life where I can financially afford a child- me and my partner have also been together 9 years I'm now 31 weeks with our first. Its personal to your own circumstances- some woman are settled and ready for children at 19, some are not until they are 40! There is no "right" time to have a baby.
I agree that it's an entirely personal choice - for me it was based on when it felt right rather than medical or financial considerations. I'll be 33 when my first arrives.
I believe that physically women's bodies are best prepared to have children between 15-25. However, financially and mentally we can cope with having a child around about 30. It has to do something with the fact that we don't live in dark ages anymore and actually have to work to ensure the wellbeing of our children.
And no, I'm not a teenager. I did have my first DC at 19, but thinking now, I do understand that it was too early. I am 29 now and waiting for my second. I should be ok with it now, but I'm panicking much more than with the first one. Hopefully it will pass after I've had her. Otherwise the theory above wouldn't work.
I'm 23... My LO is 10 days old. It felt like the right time to have a baby for me... My partner is 27. We have a mortgage and both have full time jobs they aren't the best paid but we can provide for our LO which is the main thing
It's very individual but many mothers realise with age that although you'd like to have all the right practical aspects in place, the medical side becomes increasingly important and you're willing to make do with less to have a family.
Personally I feel around 30 is good because you have a little extra maturity on your side which can bring stability in all areas of your life. It also allows time to conceive / deal with conception problems whilst fertility is statistically still good, and you still have plenty of time to leave whatever gap you want between DC1 and future siblings (unless you want a particularly large family). I know people who have put off their first baby until mid 30s and then felt rushed into another due to advancing maternal age and struggled because of it.
I conceived DC1 at 31 (born at 32), and dc2 at 34 (due at 35). I consider myself fortunate to have been in the right relationship with the right man, who wanted the same as me. Many friends in their 30s are still single and feel that this is robbing them of their choice of when to have kids, those with fertility problems also feel the decision has been taken out of their hands.
It's idealistic to think everyone has a choice.
I think it's personal choice to be honest.
The younger you are, the better your body probably deals with pregnancy etc. However, being older usually means financial stability, more settled etc.
I was a month off 35 with my first, and I'll be 36 when my second arrives. Didn't meet my husband until my early 30s but we're both really settled in work, have the luxury of being able to afford for me to take a career break when the children are pre-school, have done a lot in terms of travelling etc so we're pretty settled.
I'm 24 and 9 weeks pg with twins. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and took a couple of weeks to get used to the idea as I'd have liked to have waited a few more years. My OH is 33. Financially we're doing ok and decided we would have had kids further down the line anyway it's just happened earlier for us. We are both now over the moon and just looking forward to a 12 week scan exciting!!!
My body coped worse with having a child at 17 then it did on my last baby at 23. Had lots of medical problems with my first.
However I dont believe there is a right time, everyone is different. My first was a complete shock, I was only young but I decided id make it work. I matured a lot faster as I didnt have an option really.
However I love been a mum and im now expecting my 4th at 24. Financially things are fine, im also studying as I want to be a midwife.
Im glad I had kids when I did, but most of my friends from my younger days dont have children so our ideas of the right time are obviously different.
Our society isn't well set up for us to be able to have babies at the time when it would be physically easiest, so I think you just choose your poison tbh. Tiredness, money, career, life opportunities, availability of family support, you balance them up. Or don't and just go for it whenever.
There's no great age. Too young and you may find parenting harder and it will be financially tough and you'll earn a lot less over the course of your lives. Too old and the risk of infertility, miscarriage, complicated pregnancies or children with SEND increases, and you may be knackered all the time.
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