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Surrogacy

surrogate offer

9 replies

Chinnygirl · 02/10/2016 10:52

One of my friends has sent me a message thats she feels weird not doing this face-to-face but she offers to be a surrogate for me if I ever need one.

I am still very busy with i fertility treatments (actually waiting for a MC at the moment) so am not thinking about surrogacy but the fact that she would think about risking her health for me makes me more thankful and touches me more deeply than I know how to express. I truly don't know how a woman could be pregnant, feel the baby move, give birth, be all hormonal and then give the baby away. It must be such a hard thing to do, even for a good friend.

How do you respond to a message like that?

OP posts:

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MinnowAndTheBear · 02/10/2016 10:56

The last paragraph of your post here seems like a pretty good reply!

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USbound · 02/10/2016 10:57

I think it's absolutely lovely, and thank her for the offer and it has given you hope and something to think about. She might be on board with surrogacy but you have to be on board with it emotionally too. Some woman get attached to their bumps and relate that to baby, some see it as bump and baby separate. That's why not every woman can do it, only a small subset. No one can be forced to feel differently to do it, so she has put a lot of thought it. You wouldn't be able to go through the pregnancy with her from conception/appointments/maternity clothes shopping and birth.

It's also not seen as giving up a baby, but as giving the baby back, so different mindset/terminology for both sides.
Good luck with the IVF and if you think about surrogacy there are plenty of supportive Facebook groups for more information

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Lumdeedums · 09/10/2016 16:03

I agree. What you wrote is lovely. And it's such a nice thing to offer. I've been a surrogate twice and I promise you I had no trouble at all watching their parents take their child into their arms and know that their dreams had come true. That's one of the most amazing experiances ever. And sure it sucked at times but it's worth it.
However I hope this is just a comfort to you but not something you ever really think about.