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Pregnancy loss. Need surrogacy.

(6 Posts)
user1469611327 Wed 27-Jul-16 10:33:07

Hello, I am here to get some advice and help if you let me. I am married and have amazing husband. Our love story started a great while ago. We were incredibly happy till the crisis moment in our life. Unfortunately, we had a car accident that changed everything. In the aftermath of it I had severe kidney injury and it was removed… Nevertheless, I got accustomed to a new life and started to think that everything was okay and almost nothing had changed. Yeah, my life was full of love, happiness and laughter again. Over time we decided to become parents. I was sure that we would be perfect parents. Even no doubts. My doctor assured us that we had chances to conceive and baby was going to be fine. Partially he was right. A little bit later I got pregnant. I cannot even explain what I’ve felt. But those emotions lasted not so long as it was desired… I had miscarriage at 6 weeks. My poor baby didn’t even manage to draw the first breath in our world. To say that I felt horrible and my soul was torn asunder equals nothing. That was so awful. Perhaps the most difficult thing in the world to experience is desiderium. Unbelievably hard… I am sure that it was the time when my husband and I experienced the bitterest and the most depressive feelings ever. Right after our, let me say, recovery, we met with our doctor who only added fuel to the fire. It has emerged that I am hardly able to carry a baby by myself. Great news as usual… Anyway, our desire to become parents is unstoppable. So we started thinking about other variants. Nowadays, there are a lot of ways, so maybe someone can advise us what to do. And there is one more thing, I am a bit afraid of surrogate mother refusal to give my baby to me. There were such cases, right? How can I be sure that it wouldn’t happen to me too? Thanks in advance.

walkhay Fri 29-Jul-16 14:57:26

I think it’s unlikely that surrogate refuses to give you baby. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard something like this. There are a lot of women describing different cases on this forum, including surrogacy. I’m sure somebody will definitely help you. So sorry you had a miscarriage. My best friend had it too. I cant forget her tears and bitterness. It is so difficult even to look at the woman who has recently lost her child. If to be honest, cant even imagine those feelings which appear inside you in this case. It’s good for you that you found efforts to struggle again. No doubts you will be great mother. Keep together with you hubby and everything is going to be great. Hugs xxx

WibblyWobblyJellyHead Fri 29-Jul-16 15:02:58

What is with all these weird posts lately?

user1469611327 Mon 01-Aug-16 10:38:33

But I've heard such news and read different articles stating that it happened. Don't remember where exactly. India or something like that. That miscarriage had an unchangeable impact on me and my hb. We would never be the same as we were before it. My condolences to your friend. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy something like that. How did she cope with that misfortune? Did she applied for some help/surrogacy?

walkhay Tue 09-Aug-16 13:08:11

She and her husband decided to stop for a while. They've bought a puppy and take care of it to shift their attention somehow. They needed to come round after all the things happened. It helps a bit, but not much.
There is nothing compared to having a baby, of course.
They will try again. It will be a road to surrogacy she says.
They are interested in finding the best clinic to help them. And have smth in mind.

user1469611327 Tue 09-Aug-16 14:14:12

I remember those feelings, unfortunately. It is impossible to forget them. When you've got at last long hoped-for bfp... ohh... happiness, excitement and tears overfill you completely. And then BANG! "You lost your child. We are sorry". How do people go on living with that? That is the question I ask myself so often.
It is definitely necessary to stop for a while. You just need recovery to get ready to continue. It is the bitterest moments of life, dare I say it.
Please, tell her I hope she's feeling better.
Speaking about surrogacy, does she know any clinics? Where is she from? And what about you? What brings you to the forum?

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