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Relapsing

(15 Posts)
Jezebel2104 Wed 09-Oct-19 22:31:56

After 12 years off speed, I've been taking coke nearly every week for the last year and I really want to stop.
Ditched my partner, who was also bv my supplier, 12 ago and got back with him 2 years ago. I can't carry on like this

MajesticWhine Wed 09-Oct-19 22:35:41

Have you had some help from drug services? Don't be afraid to reach out.

Jezebel2104 Wed 09-Oct-19 22:46:34

No I haven't, I feel too ashamed

WeAllLearn Thu 10-Oct-19 21:16:05

Jezebel my friend- You’ve managed to do it once and pretty dam well - 12yrs is a great milestone, you’ve got it in you to do it again, it just very overwhelming. Perhaps try and take a moment and think back to a time in That 12 years when you were making good life decisions, think about how it made you feel. Now work to get back to that as your goal, figure out the steps to get there, hopefully you will see that really there is no need to feel shame. There are great resources you can use out there anonymously - for the time being maybe that would be a good work around to get some support and have a good chat if you aren’t ready to personalise.

Jezebel2104 Thu 10-Oct-19 22:02:02

The way I stopped last time was by finishing the relationship, but he keeps telling me how happy I make him and how much he loves me so I feel guilty about that. ATM I'm pretending I've got the flu aot I've not seen him for a week, and so I haven't had any cocaine for a week and I feel good

Jezebel2104 Thu 10-Oct-19 23:16:11

I guess no one can help

Mapatrol Sat 12-Oct-19 13:16:09

Hi Jezebel, how are you doing? I am 2yrs into recovery from cocaine addiction. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. How did you manage 12 yrs? Alone or in a programme?

TamarindCove Sat 12-Oct-19 13:25:21

You can help. You already know the answer.

You did so well to be clean for 12 years, a relationship that has led you back to using is not a good one.

You obviously don’t feel that you are able to stay clean within the relationship as you would just say no to the coke if that was the case. Your sobriety is worth more than any relationship.

Historydweeb Sat 12-Oct-19 13:32:15

You know you need to cut him out like a cancerous mole. Be strong and be consistent. 12 years is amazing

Desolate2nite Sun 13-Oct-19 10:01:21

So I've changed name, contacted Na,told my family and finished with him. Day 2 today and I feel good. I did it alone last time with amazing support from my mum and dad. Sadly lost my dad suddenly nearly 3 years ago and got back with ex not long after (I know, idiotic). The hardest part was telling my mum again, but I had to do it because I promised no more secrets 12 years ago. I've returned his keys and changed my phone number. No going back this time

Mapatrol Sun 13-Oct-19 12:51:50

Wow! That's impressive work, massive well done, I hope you like NA. Let us know how you get on

Desolate2nite Sun 13-Oct-19 18:20:20

Mixed emotions now, not about the drugs but him. As always when something ends i am only thinking about the good times. Can't have him without drugs being involved, so it's a no brainer 😔

WeAllLearn Fri 18-Oct-19 10:48:59

Stay strong, you’ll get through it. I’m so pleased that you’ve got the right support in place with speaking to your mum. The first few weeks will be the hardest but you’ve got this - take each day at a time and be kind to yourself.

Desolate2nite Fri 18-Oct-19 15:15:51

1 week without him and 2 weeks without drugs. Feeling good

TamarindCove Sat 19-Oct-19 23:11:42

Well done. Stay strong!

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