Help with willpower; food, nicotine, weed

[NoWillpowerLeft]

I need something to help me have the willpower to control the habits that are making my health worse. Is there an app that might help me or an audio book? I don't have much money or I would look in to hypnosis as I think I am quite suggestible.

A few years ago I got very into a radical way of eating (paleo). I have MS and wanted to help my symptoms. After a month or so I started to feel amazing and my mobility and mood improved, I lost tons of weight and looked great. After about 18 months I started slipping during a holiday and since then it's been all downhill. Bingeing on crap all the time, smoking tobacco, feeling awful and promising myself every morning I will stop and go back to the healthy habits that made me feel better. Every evening when I see dh I go back on my promises to myself. We are co-dependents I think if that's the right word. He is an overeater and smokes but doesn't touch weed.

I think I may have triggered an eating disorder through the restrictive diet I followed, however, I felt so well on it and know it's best for me so want to resume it. But I just can't seem to do it for more than a week at a time this time around, stopping smoking too. Weed I'm not that bothered about as I don't see any negative effects from it, particularly if I vape rather than smoke it. I used weed when I was feeling healthy too.

I think bingeing and smoking are tied up with some issues in my relationship with dh if I'm honest. It makes me feel closer to him when we plan a binge meal and sit outside smoking. How stupid does that sound.

I wish I could just flip the switch in my brain like I did when I first started paleo, I never cheated or even felt the urge and didn't smoke because I recognised how ill it made me feel. I just seem to have fallen into self destruction.

[pixie7465]

I have recently started smoking weed after two years off it I only smoke one a day after work my adult son normally gets it for me but he is on holiday & I feel like I'm losing my mind without it my anxiety is through the roof & I seem to be losing my temper at the slightest things & getting really angry & emotional I've even thought about ordering it online 😥