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Help, Husband Cocaine addict - 6 month old and pregnant

(10 Posts)
Jerry2019 Tue 30-Jul-19 15:17:25

Hi All,
Hope someone can give me some advice I need it from outside of family and friends as people can be clouded with different judgement.
1 months ago I found out my husband has been a secret cocaine addict for what he is saying has been around 7 months, we have a 6 months old so this came to a complete shock to me. I left immediately gave up our home and moved in with a family friend until I decide what to do.
Today I have found out I am pregnant again, I just don’t know what to do. I am so consumed with the hurt that my head is all over the place. I havnt told anyone the news as I don’t want there input yet until I have accepted it in my head.
Help!!!
Advice needed xx

Jerry2019 Tue 30-Jul-19 15:19:13

I just wanted to add, that we are a loving family and this came at a complete shock to me as everyone always says how perfect and in love we are for each other. It all began when his business got in trouble and he got in debt x

Teaandchocolatecake Tue 30-Jul-19 15:24:05

If there is debt and drug addiction then I would stay where you are.

If he is committed to your marriage and your family he will get help. Stay separated whilst he does (if he does) and then see how you feel afterwards.

Teaandchocolatecake Tue 30-Jul-19 15:25:18

Sorry, did you mean what to do about the pregnancy?

Jerry2019 Tue 30-Jul-19 15:28:47

Hi thanks for the reply, I tend to stay where I am for a couple of months but I'm living with an elderly family member so won't be able to stay too long.
He is staying at his sisters and doing weekly drug testing and starts counselling next week. He is admitting to what he has done and I know he has a very long road ahead of him, I'm just so confused what to do about pregnancy will him doing the drugs affect the baby in anyway.
How do I go back after so many lies?
The problem is I love him with all my heart and never wanted to brake up our family but it is what needed to be done.

OurChristmasMiracle Tue 30-Jul-19 15:29:34

He’s probably been using a lot longer if he realises he had become addicted 7 months ago. I would also question how much of the debt is cocaine related and whether or not he was taking money out of the business for it.

You honestly need to stay where you are now whilst he seeks help.

In regards to the baby you need to make the decision that’s right for you. This new baby will not make him see sense/get help/change.

Sorry you are going through this flowers

Jerry2019 Tue 30-Jul-19 15:35:22

Again thank you for the reply, the debt was before this started and then he just got deeper in. He said he was consumed by it.
I don't know whether having another baby is the right thing to do, but I don't want to get rid either due to so much loss going on around me with family and friends. I would feel ungrateful in a sense.
I feel so stuck and hurt that I just don't have a clue what to do, I am currently living three hours from my husband. I go back to work in October which means I will need to move back to where we where living.
Should I just get myself a home and build on that

Jerry2019 Tue 30-Jul-19 15:57:11

My other worry is, DO I TELL HIM? 😔

gearandloathing Fri 09-Aug-19 17:56:13

Is he prepared to stop is the question.

HoneywithLemon Mon 26-Aug-19 03:31:36

OP, you might find this website useful https://adfam.org.uk/ If you scroll through the forum you will find many in the same boat as you. My advice from personal experience is detach with love now to avoid a lot of pain and wasted time., for your own sake and his,

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