Name changed for this. Sorry it’s long.
I know I’ve been naive and stupid, but I honestly didn’t worry about the future until fairly recently. Now I think I’ve really fucked up.
TLDR we rent, don’t know how we will get a mortgage, are on just above NNW and make minimum pension contributions.
In all honesty our pensions will probably have just about enough to buy a cruise and throw ourselves overboard on the last night. I’m only half joking, I don’t want to live to a long age. I can’t see how we will cope if we have to retire???
My credit rating is shot to bits through poor judgment and spending beyond my means, my (and DH’s) career is stagnant, I have no savings as we spent £30K on our wedding and honeymoon and have spent all small inheritances on going on holidays . I know this makes me sound like such an idiot.
Growing up, my parents had a long and happy marriage and lived in a house worth (now) around £800,000. Stupidly stupidly stupidly (as they always said that me and my 2 brothers would inherit the house) I just assumed I didn’t need to worry about a mortgage as I could just buy outright in my old age in a cheaper area, or have a hefty deposit to help get a mortgage more easily if I inherited before my retirement.
However, my DM died, and my father finally remarried 2 years ago after a very short relationship of 6 months. He has already put the house in joint names (as he should, that’s his wife) and I can easily see a situation whereby he leaves everything to her and we get nothing. They haven’t made any wills. It’s not that I don’t trust my step DM, it’s the fact she has a disabled grown child who will ‘need’ more than us. In this circumstance I can see us being cut out.
She is also very funny about money. For my birthday my DH and I paid for all the alcohol which was the biggest cost. I asked if the rest of the family could split the food between them, giving them a smaller bill than me. She thought my dad should pay nothing even though he is a high earner (over 70k). He paid without any problem because it was only £80 and it was his daughters birthday, but she wasn’t happy about it at all.
Anyway, none of this would matter if I hadn’t been so silly to think that my old age would take care of itself. If my DSM cuts us out, or the money goes into a care home I feel I’m fucked.
We have joint income of about £3.2K, living expenses of £1.8K debt repayments of £600 at minimum for about £12K of cc and a loan. We are still living outside our means.
How can I pull this back!
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Addiction support
I’m almost 40 and I’ve f***ed up
171 replies
cbatothinkofanamechange · 21/04/2019 13:55
OP posts:
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