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Relative with addiction

(3 Posts)
hotcrossbun4321 Fri 08-Feb-19 22:34:09

Regular with name change here. Some help and hand-holding needed. My relative is struggling with cocaine addiction and resulting MH issues. Today they crossed a line by asking me for money. Previously they've only asked their parents for money, but their parents are now taking a harder line and refusing to give any more (after clearing £000s of debts before they knew the extent of it). Parents are offering support with them accessing counselling etc and trying to get them to come and stay with them in another town away from the dealers while relative gets themselves together, but help is being turned down. I've told relative I will help with practical things such as helping sort their house, lifts to counselling and someone to talk to if needed, but that I'm not comfortable giving them money.

It's bloody hard though - now I'm worried for their safety if they can't pay back money, or what if the dealer gets them involved in something dodgy to pay off debts. Any advice? I'm starting to think I might have to go NC, much as I want to help them

learningandgrowing Wed 13-Mar-19 08:55:34

Look, they have the option to leave town and go to parents right? Also if they are forced to do things then tell the police. It is an issue known as county lines and they take it seriously. I dont know where you are but cocaine is a massive problem in towns right now due to so much coming in from abroad. 25% of all Europe's coke is bought in the UK can you believe. You have to just try not to worry. Been there. Defo no money as otherwise you are enabling. I tried food gift cards and food deliveries, these were used on alcohol and binges. You have to look after yourself and have boundaries. As the lies and manipulation wear you down. Try Family Al Anon groups for support. Maybe just meet for a coffee sporadically in neutral place so they know you are thinking of them. I wouldn't do lifts to counselling personally, why cant they get there themselves? Are parents paying for it? Is it a specialist addiction service? People can and do sort their lives out but they have to do it for themselves.

IsThisHappeningToday Thu 04-Apr-19 11:27:44

What did you do? I need help with this.

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