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Dilemma: Need to get back to my meeting but fell out with someone there...

(3 Posts)
peonysandhotcrossbuns Sun 16-Sep-18 09:06:20

I don't usually fall out with people but a couple of years ago I allowed one of the people (an ex-sponsor) to control me and cross my boundaries in many ways, I wasn't brave enough to tell her and then one day just snapped and told her I wanted to go NC.

For example, she would demand to speak to me on the phone everyday, slag members off behind their backs, tell my friends who weren't in the program about my addiction, bring up the past things I had said in meetings, drain my energy and just generally make me feel uncomfortable.

I have apologised by text and we have sent each other our good wishes etc because at one point she helped me a lot to get out of a bad life situation and we friends.

I was attending a meeting in another city which was great but I cannot make any other meetings now but the one she is at.

I am at a new rock bottom with my addiction and need a meeting more than I need to save face but I don't want to jeopardise her recovery by going to meeting and being ultra boundaried with her.

Do you think I should just go and face up to it? Im not sure it would even help with all this baggage there. Maybe she's even talked about me to the people who attend this meeting? Im so mixed up. The location and time is the only meeting i can attend.

Im thinking that if I go and just leave straight afterwards, it might work.

Thanks for reading

flatwhite45 Mon 17-Sep-18 12:30:56

So sorry you had this experience with your sponsor peony. But really this is a life or death situation, you can’t let it get in the way of your recovery. If someone with cancer had fallen out with someone at the hospital, you would think them pretty nuts to let that get in the way of their treatment.
Being ultra boundaried with her would be a very good move I suggest, but do find at least one or two people who you are willing to open up and connect with. Connection to ourselves and those around us in the programme is the answer to recovery in my experience. Good luck, you sound like you are ready to start the amazing journey of recovery..

peonysandhotcrossbuns Mon 17-Sep-18 12:37:25

Thank you. I did go along and it was fine.
I need to ring some of the people that kindly gave their numbers so I can (with help) get this recovery on the road.

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