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Addiction support

Today I gambled 2.5k

58 replies

Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:14

Fucking hell. When I looked at my bank statement I actually cannot believe it.
I had made 7k over the last week. I won 2.5k today and tonight I thought I'd give it another go. Fucking lost the 2.5k. So im still up but i am struggling to not go back on and chase my losses. I am just realising how addicted I am. I go on everyday. Started with matched betting. I am definitely "up". Over the last year I have made and won about 10k. I was SO happy today with that 2.5k win. I had the most money in my account ever and now it's gone. What a fucking twat.

OP posts:

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BIWI · 21/08/2018 23:16

Not really sure what to say, other than I'm sorry. Presumably you don't want to carry on though? Does it really make you happy?

Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:21

Yeh i guess it does. I enjoy the game I play, i want to go back to it as soon as I have stopped. It's out of boredom I suppose but at the moment i have a huge need to make and keep as much money as i can. My work contract is about to end, i have a wedding to pay for and honeymoon so all extra cash is such a help. My fiance was so happy when i told him how much I made and basically it's enough to pay The wedding outright. But now I lost some... argh. Like I guess I should be happy I am in a profit rather than debt but i can easily see how that happens. Just looking at my statement I was depositing £400 each time. Like what the fuck. If that money was sitting in front of me I wouldnt be handing it over to play a fucking slot in real life. It's far too easy to spend online.

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BIWI · 21/08/2018 23:24

Presumably you've been building up to this though? You wouldn't - surely?! - have started off with £400 each time.

How does your fiance feel about it? Does he know how much you're gambling?

Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:31

Yeh its built up over last few months I suppose but the majority of the money I just made has been in the last 2 weeks.
He knows I am gambling and betting everyday but not the stakes involved I guess he doesnt mind because I am "up". There was a day last week I had lost some money and i messaged to say I was worried about money and also lost some on horses but he didnt even ask how much. Thankfully I did win that back and then some. I know I need to stop and after tonight I think my luck has run out on a particular tactic I was doing. The most annoying thing is I just decided an hour ago to play. I was up another 600 quid. Then I went to the next website and fucking lost the 600 and more. :(

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FlyingMonkeys · 21/08/2018 23:38

I dated someone who gambled. He was down to the tune of 80k and had to sell his house... Still didn't stop. Get support before it's too late OP.

danni0509 · 21/08/2018 23:40

How long has this been going on for?

Can you draw everything out your account as soon as your paid like that day, have no money in your account to stop you being able to transfer it across,

Can you block yourself from every site, I know this can be done because it's what my brother had to do, he has been in the same situation,

He's not gambling anymore but was gambling up to £1000 away every week.

How do you feel when you have gambled it away?

My brother used to be snappy, angry, annoyed, depressed etc but when he had won he was literally in the best mood!

Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:40

That's why I have come on here. I do not want to end up like thay but i do have an addictive personality. I need to know how to not go on and chase my losses.

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summerblues · 21/08/2018 23:42

You are out of control. This is where the fun stops and you keep losing. The bookies ALWAYS win. Always. You have ceased to think of it as real money. Nobody ever continues to win when they up the stakes. You are now a compulsive gambler.

My advice is stop. Today. Withdraw all the funds and go to the responsible gambling part of the websites and ban yourself. Give the winnings to your fiance for safe keeping.

Gamcare website is a good source of info. You can chat online to an advisor.

I say all this having gambled thousands from aged 18 to 28 and having only just completed a trust deed thats ruined my credit rating. I won 7k one day and the website tried every trick in the book to close my account and not pay up. I eventually got it and blew it again. I was suicidal.

Dont let this addiction suck you in deeper. You are addicted to the dopamine surges.

All the best x

summerblues · 21/08/2018 23:44

Oh and get a basic bank account and delete paypal so you can't deposit funds online.

My partner gave me a card for his credit card so I can use contactless etc and he can see what transactions are made.

Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:46

Yes, how your brother felt is how i feel.
I can restrict myself but i know I can unrestrict myself too. i just-have to wait a few days for it to reverse so im not sure that will work. In just need to remember I am up at the moment and i hate losing. I know this is a mugs game but so far i have done really well out of it. When i lose I am in a very irritable mood. I'll jusy go upstairs and gamble to win back any losses...So far tbis has worked. Tonight it hasn't and it's made me see how stupid I am being. I cannot afford to lose the rest of my winnings.
I also pull my hair out and tonight it's gone crazy because of this. I feel so stupid. I also do not want to tell my fiance what I have done. I dont think I need to but i hate keeping secrets and i don't hide my emotions well.

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Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:49

Right. I'm going to restrict my accounts or even try to close them.
I am not losing this money!

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summerblues · 21/08/2018 23:50

Admitting you are addicted and putting blocks in place (you can self exclude from the sites permanantly, this also blocks the many "sister" sites the main companies own) is hands down the most freeing thing you could ever do. To get back to normality was the best thing I did for my mental health. The ups and downs of gambling are so so tiring.

You can stop now! I wish I stopped when I was up.

Go and read the stories on the Gamcare forums as a distraction for now.

Whisky2014 · 21/08/2018 23:55

Right I have restricted myself on the main bookies I use. I am in a bit of a panic because I am waiting on all the money coming through to my bank and my bank balance is pitiful right now. I will feel alot happier once the money is all there because i am struggling to work out How much I will actually have left over.

I will read the stories now.

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summerblues · 21/08/2018 23:59

Thats brilliant Whisky, well done. It will be such a relief when the money reaches your account.

I found it helpful to put it in context money wise too. Like what those £400 spins could buy - clothes, makeup, haircuts, xmas presents, holidays. I would only buy clothes in the sales or feel great about saving a few quid on discounted food at the same time as placing £100 bets......madness!!

You have taken the first step tonight

Whisky2014 · 22/08/2018 00:03

That's what I was thinking tonight when i saw those deposits. I have plenty things to spend that money on. The car needs a dent repaired, some house stufd to be fixed. That 2.5k could have gone a Long way and I'm just so pissed off I chose to lose it. I couldn't not stop pressing the button expecting the next time to say "BIG WIN".

Fuckkkkk sake I'm so annoyed

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summerblues · 22/08/2018 00:07

Its gutwrenching that feeling. But the honeymoon period is over for you. Its much, much worse when its your hard earned salary and rent/mortgage payments that you lose. I blew my entire months wage the day I got it one time. 4 weeks x 37.5 hours working - for nothing.

You have done the right thing, keep those winnings safe!

danni0509 · 22/08/2018 00:08

Have you withdrawn the other that your up on?

Keep it withdrawn don't put it back in to recoup the 2.5k you lost earlier, keep telling yourself you'll lose the lot,

Call it a day while you are on the up, block yourself from all your accounts,

Would your partner be supportive, I know he knows you gamble but what would he say to the severity? Would he help you?

X

Whisky2014 · 22/08/2018 00:19

Wow summer that's insane...I definitely do not want to do that but i know I easily could. I mean I would have had it not been for winning alot of money last week.
So there's no money in any bookies right now I'm just waiting for it to go I to my PayPal account and then I'll transfer it to my bank.
I just read a blog on that gamcare website where a guy said he won alot of money 7 years ago and that was the worst thing ti have happened. If he had lost would his journey have been the same.
I am not letting myself go down this road. I am up 5k or so. That's really good to be honest 5k I didn't have before! I shpuld be happy with that. I'm not chasing the loss.

To be honest yes my fiance would be really supportive. He is a very kind and understanding person but i don't want to tell him.
Part of the reason I went back on to gamble tonight was because when he came home from work he said it was great about my big win and basically all my winnings to date is enough to pay The wedding. I was taken aback and said i didnt want it all to go on the wedding. It was my nest egg, my money. He earns more than me yet i have saved more than him and it was his want to have a big traditional wedding. Why should i shell out 7k for that? Im happy to split it.
I have never had this kind if money before and the way he was talking was like i am about to spend it all asap. I dont want to! So i felt I needed to make more.

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Whisky2014 · 22/08/2018 00:22

Just got the first lot of money through. 1.2k

Then I think i still have a 2.4k and a 600 to go. Possibly an 800 as well. So bad I can't keep track.

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summerblues · 22/08/2018 00:29

Thats real money that the bookies want back!

But you are going to allocate it - half to wedding and rest in savings or to fix the car and treat yourself with a few hundred! Its better to get a wee haul in the shops than one spin!

Whisky2014 · 22/08/2018 00:33

That's right summer! What I noticed is if i have a big win and then withdraw my funds immediately, the next time I go on I dont win big until I've at least paid back what I won from them previously. Which is why i am going to be strong and not bastarding gambling again.

It's going to be hard though because basically all my night time free time was spend researching horses or playing slots.

I need to put my phone down and do something else.

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BIWI · 22/08/2018 06:11

I really think you should confide in your partner. It's very telling, I think, that you don't want to

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Whisky2014 · 22/08/2018 11:01

Ok i told him (i was chicken and emailed him) and he said not to worry. It was found money and its done now. He said we will go through wedding expenses tonight and see what's left to pay. I feel better i told hom but still shit i lost that. At least I still have some profit though. I guess maybe if i hadn't have lost id continue to gamble and be even worse off in the end

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3boys3dogshelp · 22/08/2018 11:19

Well done OP, that’s brilliant that you told him.
I think the idea of allocating the money is a really good one - then you’re not gambling ‘winnings’, you’re risking losing the money to buy your wedding dress or fix your car. If you lose it how long will it take to earn it back through working? You need a budget is a good app for planning this.
Do you need to plan anything else for your wedding? You could spend time researching if so. Are you making wedding stationery or your cake yourself? Can you invite your bridesmaids over for dinner? You need to find a way to keep yourself occupied in the evening. Explain to your DF what you are doing so he can help you to keep busy too. He will want to help.

Whisky2014 · 22/08/2018 11:25

I definitely need to fill my evenings. I find myself addicted to my phone too. I just want to put it down and DO something. Even watching films I still have phone in hand.
All the wedding stuff is organised so it's just paying it off now. I think it is a good thing for us to sit and go over the wedding money tonight because it's all kind of run away. We have emails, letters, texts all with costs nd quotes but no real log of what we have paid already and what's left to pay.

To make 2.5k would take me a month and a half to earn...what was i thinking?!

Im so glad I have an understanding partner. Still feel really sick though. :(

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