Husband spending too much on marijuana

[Mrsb288]

So my husband and I have been together for 14 years and he has always smoked weed on and off. He suffers from anxiety and after being on all different meds over the years, he uses this as a way to get through the day. His habit seems to be getting out of hand and he is spending £120 a week! It started off as £60 but he was going through it so fast and now he smoked £120 of it all from Friday-Sunday and is asking to get more. He says he will get £60 worth now and then only spend £60 on Friday when he gets paid. He hung up on me on his lunch break cause apparently I sound negative, because I said we couldn't afford it. We can't afford it, I am currently on maternity leave as well. He just goes in a mood if I try and speak to him, says I am nagging, says oh well I just won't work then etc. I don't know what to do anymore. He comes home and goes to smoke, sits all weekend and smokes. We have 2 small children and I am just over him being selfish. Our marriage feels like it is non existent and like I have 3 kids. He has no family here except his Dad who has no idea he smokes. Over our time together he has spent multiple years unemployed because of his anxiety so now he is doing well being able to work. I wouldn't have an issue if he smoked but could control himself better. I know people who smoke after work to wind down but not excessively. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[cestlavielife]

You cannot change or cure him. He has to want to change.
You can change your reaction.
If he doesn't help with dc what is the point of him?
Tell him he gets help to quit/cut down or you separate or divorce and mean it.

[HoleyCoMoley]

He is breaking the law and you are letting it happen too. He is smoking around young children which is unsafe. He is spending money when it should be going towards his family. He needs to come off the weed, seek help from n.a, or just leave, he can go stay with his dad. You and your children are at risk. I would go to citizens advice to see what options are available to you. Do you own the house or rent it.

[QueenAravisOfArchenland]

So he's now spunking £500 a month on his addiction.

What stops you just leaving? He's an addict, he's controlling, he's no help with the children, and he's lighting the equivalent of many people's mortgage a month on fire.

[Mrsb288]

He doesn't smoke around the children and we rent our house. But I agree, the money could be spent on other things or saved. I have suggested he try cbd oil or something to help with anxiety. He can't take anti depressants or anything as he reacts badly and his Dr put him on pregabalin but had to come off it as it stopped working. He's had CBT but that didn't work. I will speak to him about going back to his Dr as I can't keep going in this situation we are in.

[HoleyCoMoley]

Does the landlord allow tenants smoking drugs in his property, you could find yourselves homeless if youre not careful. If he is smoking in the house it will linger, if it's in the garden the neighbours will smell it.

[Nolagerformethanks]

Having been in a very similar situation (thank the lord we had no kids!) for 8 years I really understand your upset and frustration OP, unfortunately that relationship ended very badly as he would spend £25 a day, didnt work, couldn't cope without it and was an absolute monster if he didn't have any. I ended up leaving with what I could grab together and never returned due to his abuse. Im not saying things are as bad for you but it does sound like he may head that way, if you want to speak privately please let me know as I know I would of loved someone to talk to that understood. Unfortunately there is no changing someone who doesn't want to but I hope for yours and the kids sake he gets his act together.

[CocoDeMoll]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I could have writtain your op. 2 kids, on maternity leave and I’m still. Paying for all the food shopping because dh has no money (except he’s got cash for huge amounts of weed because it’s essential to keep him going).
I can’t trust him alone with the kids in the evening because he might upset the big one and fall asleep with the 3month old. Sound familiar?!

I think keep talking to him about his mental health and encourage him to try other therapies. I’m not really I a position to advise you though.