Help weed addiction.(2 Posts)
I'll give some back story so as not to drop feed.
A few years ago I had a VERY messy breakup with my dc dad. It was that bad the police and ss had to be involved.
Unfortunately due to all that I developed a fondness for alcohol.
I realised fairly quickly I was on a slippery slope with it and sought help and all the fuss with dc dad calmed down and I had 2 fantastic years as a single parent. Working hard generally just being the best mom I could be.
It all started to go wrong when I was raped.
Before then ide smoked weed before put would probably get a £20 with a couple mates and have 1 or 2 and that would be it for months YEARS.
Sometimes I would buy a £20 and just put it away in case I fancied some at some point.
Anyway I digress.
After what had happened to me because of the issues ide had with alcohol I turned to weed.
It started off as just a little one in place of my first cigarette in the morning and has turned into a constant smoke.
I still function as a mom but it really hit me the other day how much I'm fucking up my dc.
It was a wake up call I needed.
Tuesday was the wake up call.
I worked it out I was spending £150 a week. I'm so so ashamed of myself.
However despite all that I still can't quite quit completly.
The last 2 days I have had 8 joints and that's it. I know that this is still far too much but I am a tiny bit proud of myself so far but it feels wrong to be proud of myself.
Should I be?
I'm also worried about the weekend.
How do I stop myself thinking fuck it lets have one it won't hurt?
I know in the grand scheme of things I haven't done that much but please if someone has quit this way tell me I'm doing the right thing?
I just want to be a mom again so my dc don't hate me for what I have become.
£150 a WEEK?! How on earth are you paying for that? Think of the things you could provide your children with that money - classes / holidays / saving for their future! That should be enough to make you stop immediately.
I am.sorry to hear that you were raped. That's awful. It sounds to me that you have an addictive personality though (due to your past with alcohol before being raped) and are in the midst of it with weed, but it could be anything.
I would recommend paying for private CBT sessions - you could easily afford it if you're spending that much on weed.
Just for context - DH used to be addicted to weed. He spent £20 a week.
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