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To feel so scared? Dh and addiction to prescription medication

(251 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

meadowposy Sun 06-May-18 12:42:43

My dh is addicted to medication, he was on codeine and says he hasn't taken any since April 11, I do believe him.

He has however been buying so much elsewhere in my name mostly. And so I can see he's replaced one addiction with another.

I know everyone says oh ltb. But it isn't that easy.

Neither of us have any family who help, we have very young children, we have no support at all basically.

Also he is not harmful to me or kids. He does it all away from our sight.

He's not always an easy man to live with but I do love him. And he's the only help and break I get. I just feel scared.

He says if it comes out he will kill himself. I really do belive him. He's tried twice this year already. I would feel responsible. It's no good people saying I wouldn't be I would feel it.

Just in despair.

BrazzleDazzleDay Sun 06-May-18 12:49:23

What support/advice are you looking for? You're not willing to take any or make any change...

ToffeeUp Sun 06-May-18 12:54:57

Read your previous thread again, you had lots of very good advice on there.

meadowposy Sun 06-May-18 12:57:34

The advice is to leave and I cant do that.

PotteringAlong Sun 06-May-18 12:57:49

You will get nothing more from this thread than you got from the last one.

Driving whilst high on drugs means he is harmful to you and the children.

The paper trail proving you are illegally buying drugs and a drug addict because he’s buying them in your name means he is harmful to you and the children.

Wasting your holiday looking for pharmacists means he is harmful to you and your children.

adaline Sun 06-May-18 13:02:04

You won't get any new advice on this thread.

LittleOwl153 Sun 06-May-18 13:10:28

You need to stop him from buying it in your name. Threaten to report him if that is the only way. This is more dangerous to you your kids and your future than anything else he is doing. You are going to have to think about life without him as he is already choosing life without you/your kids/to have no life. It is only a matter of time. Protect yourself and your kids before he really screws you up too. I don't remember how old the kids are - how long before he is using their names too?

Bumshkawahwah Sun 06-May-18 13:16:43

I remember your last post and unfortunately your only choices really are leave, or put up with it. You can’t make him stop and he’s probably not going to.

I know you want a magic solution, an answer to your problems and I really wish I could offer you one, but it just doesn’t exist.

I know this is so hard...but you need to work on becoming stronger yourself, to give yourself options.

MatildaTheCat Sun 06-May-18 13:18:57

Does he even want to change? There are ways of getting help anonymously but if he doesn’t want to change then only you can alter this. Buying drugs in your name is pretty damn low but you know that.

I’m willing to offer support but what use is that? Somehow you need to find the will to leave and stop this. He’s not the first doctor to develop a drug addiction, and he could get help but you are enabling him unfortunately.

What do you want to happen?

meadowposy Sun 06-May-18 13:36:19

He won't access help anonymously. Says he'd be struck off.

Quartz2208 Sun 06-May-18 13:59:57

You can’t go on like it is I take it rather than taking codeine he is taking the others drugs

He needs professional help

Goingalonenow Sun 06-May-18 14:00:56

He won't access help, he's a risk to his children and his patients. Leave.

MatildaTheCat Sun 06-May-18 14:05:56

He will get into trouble with the GMC if he is reported and currently forging prescrtions and working under the influence but that doesn't mean he can't access any help at all. He may also not be struck off. I've had dealings with the GMC and they are massively into supporting doctors rather than punishing them.

He's talking actively about suicide so you really do need to move and do something. Have you considered calling addiction helplines for advice? Or your own GP? He's not thinking straight but neither are you. It needs to be taken out of your hands even if your lives will change. This can't go on.

Weezol Sun 06-May-18 14:08:46

Go back and re-read the hundreds of posts full of advice on your previous thread - if you will not accept any of that, why ask again? I am not going to enable you by engaging any further and I respectfully suggest that posters have a look at your previous thread to avoid duplication.

ilovesooty Sun 06-May-18 14:12:42

You don't have any different choices I'm afraid. You leave him and / or report him because he isn't going to stop doing what he's doing.

I wouldn't believe anything he says about his drug use either.

Pinga Sun 06-May-18 14:15:29

You need to do something. Not doing anything wont make the situation any better.

GandalfsWrinklyHat Sun 06-May-18 14:15:40

Honestly not this again. You are like a broken recird and I really don’t know what you want from these threads? You will get the same advice on this thread as on the numerous others. I really feel for you, but god woman you need to give your head a wobble.

MatildaTheCat Sun 06-May-18 14:16:18

Find help and support here.

mummymeister Sun 06-May-18 14:20:42

What's changed Meadowposy?

Nothing?

So the advice is exactly the same as it was on your last, very long thread.

No one, but no one is going to say "there, there there, heres a magic wand" because it doesn't exist.

You wont leave so your only option is to stay with him and take the consequences.

Someone is going to find out - his employer, one of his patients, your nanny, the chemists he uses, social services.

this is not going to stay hidden for ever. For the sake of the people he treats and for the sake of your poor children, I hope its sooner.

You have been offered masses of support and help on the last thread and just kept doing the "yes, but..." posts

we all told you he was replacing one addiction with another and if you recall apparently he wasn't he was just doing it to get off the drugs.

wake up and smell the coffee OP. I have lost both patience and sympathy with someone who is so blatantly content to put others, including themselves, their children and his patients so at risk.

meadowposy Sun 06-May-18 14:31:13

I believe him is. I promise I am not blind to his faults and he would lie. But not to me. Mostly because he doesn't care what I think.

meadowposy Sun 06-May-18 14:31:45

Ils that should have said sorry.

Rachie1973 Sun 06-May-18 14:44:03

You've done this to death now.

Your DH is a junkie. He's addicted to the drugs. He may love you and the kids, but he certainly loves the drugs more and painful though it may be to admit it, if he had to choose right now 'Family or Drugs' he'd pick the drugs.

The advice hasn't changed from 2 weeks ago.

You need to stop enabling him, you need to stop supplying him, you need to move your children to safety.

ellsbells2 Sun 06-May-18 14:50:52

You can leave, you're choosing not to.

I honestly think you need to decide what changes you are willing to make.

At the moment you (understandably) fret about what is happening but haven't taken any positive action to change things for you or your children.

CiderwithBuda Sun 06-May-18 14:51:56

I read your last thread too.

The thing is you won’t do anything and he won’t do anything. So it will stay the same. Except it won’t. He will get caught. He will need to take more. He will take greater and more frequent risks. He is doing some of it in YOUR name. So you are implicated too.

He needs to face up to the fact that he is an addict. He needs some form of rehab. There is lots out there, I assume that you are ok financially as he is a doctor so could he go to a residential rehab facility? The Priory or similar. Or something overseas?

If you are not willing to leave him he has no reason to stop.

You could try giving him a ultimatum but you have to be prepared to carry it out. Either he goes into rehab or he leaves. Then it’s his choice.

seventh Sun 06-May-18 14:53:01

You've asked this before.

Nothing has changed.

Therefore the advice is - stop him using your name/account to buy this stuff, and get away from him ASAP

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