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Codeine

(5 Posts)
madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 18:54:55

Hi

I'm new here so please be gentle. I just want to know about others experiences of codeine/co codamol and how they've overcome it.

I never really used it a few years ago. Mam had it (prescribed) and I'd take a tablet or two when in pain (dislocations etc). When I came home from uni I was unemployed and miserable for about 5 months, and I started taking it heavily then.

Since then, I've used in stages and in different levels. I've gone through periods of using it every day, during the day, only using it at night, and of course withdrawing when the prescription ran out. It sounds daft, but the feeling it gives me is incredible. Providing I know my limit and don't take too many tablets that I feel rough the next day, I'm fine. I'm more positive, cheerful, happy, and I sleep better. I honestly feel sometimes there's no downsides. I function perfectly normal and noone in real life would guess. Mother doesn't notice her prescription going missing as she never uses it (ironically as she doesn't want to get addicted).

I'm not stupid though. I know it must be doing me some harm though. When I withdraw my body aches, I have diarrhea, I have restless legs, I have worse sleep and I suspect that physically at least I am dependant on it.

I can't admit it to anyone in real life. I hate withdrawal. I feel so on edge and down all the time, and part of me can't wait til next Wednesday for mum's prescription to come in, to have more. At the same time I'm going through withdrawal and I'm thinking what is the point in going through this only to have to go through it again, in the future. I want to join the police in the future and know that my cocodamol use will need to stop for this.

The fact that I feel so down without it scares me. I feel really depressed, and I don't know if it's a result of withdrawal or just not medicating. It's not right. I was a lot happier three years ago, and I have been through some stuff since then (not dramatic, unemployment, being assaulted, unemployment, bad family relationships). But surely I should be able to move on from that? I can't let on to anyone that I'm hurting inside, and I should be able to move on from that. I can't afford therapy.

Basically, I'm very confused, a bit scared and a lot fed up of going through withdrawal all over again. I would appreciate support if anyone has been through the same thing.

Codheadtoo Sun 08-Apr-18 13:25:55

Hi op, I am addicted to codeine. I have been for years. Now I buy OTC medication with codiene in it and regularly exceed the dose limits. As it contains other ingredients (paracetamol/ibuprofen) I know that I am damaging my body. I came to the addiction boards looking for help to stop. I think I have reached the point now where if I don't, I will really do myself some serious harm. I suspect I have already as I am in constant pain, ironically caused by pain medication.

Please do not let yourself get like me. The fact you are going through withdrawals again and again shows that you can stop. Take heart from that and do it.

It is normal to feel depressed when you are withdrawing. But the other issues you mention of course it is normal to not just be over them. Can I ask what the nature of the assault was? Sorry if that question is too personal. I have PTSD from abuse in childhood, I am seeing a counsellor for it now though I have not spoken to her about my addiction yet. Perhaps you need some counselling too. flowers

talia66 Wed 11-Apr-18 21:08:40

I can relate to you ladies so much. This is such a big problem for me. I have given it up and relapsed so many times and know what you are saying about the feeling my mood lift if I take it.

what I hate most about it is that for me it is a secret problem. Nobody in my life would understand how it feels. Also I get so embarrassed having to drive to multiple chemists to buy the painkillers.

I have also used my mothers prescription before because hers are stronger.
I am going to try withdrawing again - I know it works I have done it in the past. For me 'cutting down' dos'nt work because I have rubbish will power - I am sort of all or nothing. The physical withdrawal will pass and before you know it you start to feel better - also the mood lifting aspect balances itself out again as well. I agree with codheadtoo - maybe counselling will help - you can usually get 8 free sessions on the NHS.

sending you both lots of hugs. I know what it feels like worrying that you are damaging your body or overdosing. madein1995 - you can do this and your body will adjust. The fact that you are trying is awesome.

madein1995 Thu 19-Apr-18 11:07:07

Hi ladies,

Thank you for being so kind, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone, that there are others with the same issue. It's bloody hard though isn't it. I think i do need counseling. Last time I tried it brought unpleasant things up and made things worse for a bit, but it's worth a go again. Wrt the assault, I was working in a children's home and a vile thug of a bully of a 16 yo took a dislike to me and had me against a wall with a lit cigarette an inch from my face. Took her to court and found not guilty. In my family it's expected that something happens and you just move on.

I've made a thread on chat where I've got lots of support and advice. I'm thinking of doing a gradual cutting down, one things for certain I can't carry on as some nights I take too much and that is hell too. The thread really is my lifeline right now, I've included a link below

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3214989-Codeine-addiction?watched=1&msgid=77225738

margesimpson40 Mon 07-May-18 14:40:15

Hey 1995

Get help before it's too late ... As I type in now a 42 year old methadone user, never touched heroin. I just loved codeine, worked better than anti depressants or valium. Gp didn't agree with my 300mg daily habit and now I'm in rehab on an outpatient basis. My family don't know. It's lonely. I miss codeine in not going to lie and tell you my life is so much better now stopping codeine has been like spliting up with the love of my life. Get help
Before it becomes this .... I'll tell you what this is, it's packing, tidying, organising, because of i don't start feeling mentally better I'll use that emergency escape route, I don't want to live like this.

Good luck, don't be me, write your own tale of recovery xx

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