Pregnant and worried about prescribed psychoactive drug addiction

[Lyra2018]

Hi,
I'm 26, first time pregnant. Had some minor drug use when I was younger but nothing as strong as the stuff I'm being prescribed and resisting. A few years ago I was prescribed olanzipane for 6 months but without much additional support. Had a mild psychotic episode as I was unable to process the fact my cousin with paranoid schizophrenia killed someone. I was so much happier off it. In my first trimester I was prescribed setraline by my GP that I only went to as a last resort. That was a disaster, gave me psychotic symptoms and I secretly took an olanzipane left over without wanting to. I've been craving stimulants and eaten some liquishie and coffee but not overdoing it and physically I'm healthy and so is the baby. Now, midway through my second trimester I've accepted a low dose of a newer anti-psychotic q. I only accepted it after I was referred to a psychiatrist and had a proper discussion with proper support. I'm just recovering from a trial of increasing it to 50 then last night dropped back down to 25 last night. I'm not asking for advice, just support as I'm so fraustrated by the system only caring about my mental health now I'm pregnant. I know I'm incredibly lucky and privileged to have so much support medically and socially which only makes me feel guilty and depressed. Midwife also referred me to social services immediately before I started anti-psychotics so am really feeling backed into a corner in following medical advice. Also quite upset by Stephen hawking's death as I love physics and hate how boys (I say that as a maturatiy not age thing) just dismiss my input, esspesally upsetting now I know I'm having a girl and looking at pink clothes makes me feel physically sick.