Cold turkey- help me when I'm tempted

[rainbowdash17]

I'm about to go cold turkey from cocaine.
It's time to! Definitely
My weak points are when I'm tempted to buy some (usually evenings)

Can I message on here when I'm tempted for a pep talk on why I shouldn't & reassurance that it's ok?
I think it would really help me

Do you reckon we can do this?

[Hidingtonothing]

I'd be more than happy to do pep talks for you OP, good for you for trying to kick the habit. I'm a recovering addict, 'only' weed but my life revolved around it so it wasn't as easy to stop as some people imagine for what's considered a 'soft' drug. And in answer to your question, yes you can do it, good luck

[rainbowdash17]

Did you stop on your own no help etc?
I know a lot of people talk of support groups etc, but I'm a single mum without a support network.
Want to do this so I can be the best mum, the best me etc. X

[CakesRUs]

Good for you! You can do this. The old saying "take it one day at a time" really is true. I've not had to quit drugs, but fags, it's an addiction, and I just thought, today I'm not gonna smoke, and didn't look at the big picture because it was daunting. The next day, I did the same. Good luck.

[Hidingtonothing]

I did stop on my own yes but something happened which turned my life upside down so in a weird way it was easier. I had too much else to think about at the time so doing without weed was the least of my problems.

The best advice I can give you is to cut yourself off from everything associated with using coke, people, places, everything. Find something to fill the gap, whatever will work to keep you occupied from binge watching box sets on Netflix to knitting, crochet, jigsaws, drawing or painting if you're arty, just something you can pick up whenever the craving for coke hits you to take your mind off it.

Basically you need to change your life around or incorporate enough new stuff to stop you feeling the 'gap' not using will leave, keeping your life exactly the same will draw your attention to the times you would have used and make it harder to resist.

It's not easy but it's worth it and it sounds like you have the best incentive you could have, your DC. I'm rooting for you OP, you can do this

[MrsBlennerhassett]

you might need to stop drinking alcohol as well for a while. I was addicted to speed in my teens/early twenties and when i would slip up it would be because id had a drink and that had made me have less willpower in saying no. Havent touched speed in nearly ten years now and i enjoy a drink now occassionally now days without wanting speed.
I think the thing is you forget how the drug feels after a certain time has passed so the cravings are much less intense. It wont always be a battle if you get over the hardest first bit. Keep in mind that it gets easier as time goes on/ Also you will fine your mental health improves massively the longer you dont take it for. You may get mood swings and depression for a time and i worried that i was just like that and my drug taking had masked it but actually it was that the drugs had both caused alot of it and were masking it. Eventually my emotional state levelled out.
It just takes time but its really really worth for how much better you will end up feeling about yourself and your life in the long run.
Good luck to you!!! xx

[MrsBlennerhassett]

I also moved away from the place and people who could readily supply me with speed. I do agree with PP that you need to stay away from people who do coke for the time being even if they themselves arent addicted. Find people to hang around with who arent into any drugs and distract yourself when at home with tv and films etc. Might also be a good idea to plan lots of activities like walking or visiting new places just to keep you occupied and remind you of what other stuff there is out there to experience other than getting high. xx

[lovelearning]

My weak points are when I'm tempted to buy some (usually evenings)

rainbowdash17

Take temptation out of the way

You know which situations are dangerous

Avoid those situations

[serialtester]

Agree with no alcohol. At your trigger time you need to distract yourself and just get through the craving.

Even after just 1 day off it you will feel a million times better.

[Hidingtonothing]

How are you today OP?

[rainbowdash17]

Day 1... last time I did say 1 I failed. Me and my daughter in bed (so I'm not alone and tempted, and it's lovely to snuggle up after all the sleepless coke fuelled nights)

I really do want some, but I'm eating doritos instead and wine lol!
My bank balance shocked me today- a realisation that even people without money worries can go through money like no tomorrow on this stuff

[therootoftheroot]

i am saying this with the best possible intentions-do you think it's a good idea to put your photo on this thread?
you don't know who else is on here-unless you mind your kids teachers/ dr/postman/ next door neighbour etc etc etc knowing that you have an addiction to coke?

[flatwhite45]

Sleep well Rainbow

[Hidingtonothing]

First few nights will be the hardest OP, you're doing really well. Just keep inching forward and you'll get there, I'll be around later if you have a wobble and need that pep talk

[flatwhite45]

Also I tend to agree with theroot, it's probably safer not to have picture up. However you and your daughter look gorgeous and happy, so enjoy the snuggling. 💐

[serialtester]

How are you this morning?

[rainbowdash17]

I managed 30 hours before I fell off wagon

Going to get back on it though

[Hidingtonothing]

Some false starts are fairly inevitable ime, that's the right attitude though just get back on the wagon and put it down to experience. Have you considered finding a NA meeting? Never been myself but heard good things, worth a try maybe? Feel free to PM if having a 'buddy' so to speak would help

[serialtester]

Well you did a whole day, which is positive. Get on the wagon again today.

[rainbowdash17]

Back on wagon.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I'm concerned about you, rainbow. I've had years of abusing drugs and know only too well how addiction can creep up on you. Before you know it, you're in a bad, dark place.

I'm not actually sure you want to change. At the moment you are holding things together; your daughter is not particularly affected, your finances are ok, you're managing to conceal your addiction in real life. You won't stay on that even keel, your life will start imploding if you don't stop.

Take the advice given to you here. Delete all numbers on your phone of anyone associated with your habit. Do not socialise with cocaine users. At this early stage you need to remove every temptation. Stop drinking alcohol until you are a long time clean, it will ruin your resolve. Remove all paraphernalia associated with using from your home; whatever you cut up with, the mirror etc.

You need to be prepared for the fight of your life with this. The intense high/ euphoria will be replaced by depression, panic and anxiety and severe cravings. It's going to take a lot to battle that on your own. I strongly advise contacting a NA group near you. As the name suggests, it's anonymous, there is no danger of your daughter being taken away or your family finding out.

You are putting yourself at risk of stroke, heart problems, seizures, liver damage. Long term use causes infertility. The blood or tissue you might see coming from your nose is the lining rotting away. Eventually your nose will collapse and it's not pretty. You also risk long term mental health problems. Paranoia, anxiety and depression are common after using long term.

I'm being harsh but you seem to be at a crossroads. It either sink or swim. Please seek help if you can't do this on your own. Picking up the phone to speak to the Samaritans when you are experiencing intense craving may help.

A drug addict doesn't have to be a pale spotty down and out wearing a dirty hoody. You're an addict and you need help.
Adopt a mantra and repeat it, remember why you need to stop. Concentrate on today; today you won't use.

Wishing you strength

[flatwhite45]

Rainbow, this is excellent advise from Ilostit. Wishing you strength

[flatwhite45]

How are you doing Rainbow? Thinking of you

[rainbowdash17]

Still struggling. I hate the stuff. Don't enjoy it at all anymoreX I've deleted dealers number from my phone although it is written in my address book at home, the fact that it's not in my phone means I have to make more of a decision on it

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Keep battling on Rainbow. It's hard, I get it. I also understand the overwhelming compulsion to do more of it and then the horrible feeling of being all edgy and unable to sleep. The justifying it in your head, convincing yourself you'll just get a little bit etc. That's all your addiction talking.

You've done well to admit to yourself you have a problem and you've started to move in the right direction.

I apologise if my previous post was a bit harsh. I read it back and thought I went a bit overboard and scared you off your own thread .

I'm not here to judge and I'm not an expert on addiction but I have my own experiences and will be here to support or help you if you need it.

[flatwhite45]

So sorry you are struggling, though it doesn't surprise me one bit. I think it can take a few attempts. I have been actively trying for two months now and only managed to cut down, not give up. I messed up again this week, was going to be super strong Thursday/ Friday and Saturday night (major trigger days), but Thursday night comes around and it's as though an entirely different person takes over my mind and convinces me "it will be ok". It never, ever is "ok" next day comedown is always horrible and the cycle starts all over again.

Meanwhile my life is surviving but only just and I know it's only a matter of time before it starts to fall apart. I don't have much advice really as am trying to figure it all out myself.

The key for me I think is being able to 'sit out' the cravings, and blocking any access I might have to coke. So that if I can't resist the cravings I still can't get hold of any, the cravings will eventually pass, and I hear they get less intense as time goes on.

Lostit as someone on the other side I really appreciate your input and hope this thread isn't too triggering for you.