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Crossing the line into middle age...

(27 Posts)
SausagesonFriday Fri 02-Oct-09 19:34:33

I'm rapidly approaching the big 40 and was pondering at what age a woman usually stops being "desirable" (in the eye of normal males rather than those with a granny-fetish!)

I was scanning the playgound today waiting for DS and it suddenly hit me that I, and the other mums, are no longer anywhere near being classed as young.

The classic youthful look (toned body, glossy hair, pouty lip thing) is definitely fading with age - and I guess there must be moment at which we cross the line and join the invisible older woman group sad.

Whilst I don't intend to go without a fightgrin, am I being realistic in thinking the invisible line is fast approaching?

Rubyrubyruby Fri 02-Oct-09 19:35:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew Fri 02-Oct-09 19:37:14

Yeah some blokes aren't that fussy.

CybilLiberty Fri 02-Oct-09 19:37:34

Try looking a couple in the eye and smiling...you'd be amazed .

KristinaM Fri 02-Oct-09 19:39:43

well i dont know about how men feel, but i still find my DH desirable and he is over 40. and i think i am a "normal" woman without a grandad fetish hmm

purplepeony Fri 02-Oct-09 19:40:14

OFGS- you are still 39! Wait til you hit your 50s dear.
Make the most of what you have at any age.
It's all about attitude- you can still look good you just need to work harder at it!

SausagesonFriday Fri 02-Oct-09 19:42:46

Ah yes Kristina - but it is I think completely different for men.

For most men ageing is almost seen as a good thing - no-one expects them to have flawless skin - and grey hair is considered sexy!

cocolepew Fri 02-Oct-09 19:44:48

Toned body = pullyinpants

glossy hair = dye

pouty lips = lip gloss.

You're only 40!

pointydoug Fri 02-Oct-09 19:47:44

Just eye up the older blokes.

A lecturer of mine (nearing 50) said he found himself admiring 40 year old women in sainsbury's. SO there you go.

Cheer up.

TracyK Fri 02-Oct-09 19:51:16

I know what you mean - I used to turn heads being a tall, slimmish blonde 'girl'. Now I'm invisible being a sensible blondey - but low lighted, bigger 'woman'.

Though I think I still look good for my age - up close - no longer got that 'youthful' look.

SausagesonFriday Fri 02-Oct-09 19:55:49

Pointydoug - perhaps you could point me towards the Sainsbury's in question...

Toots Fri 02-Oct-09 19:57:10

It's the sizzle not the sausage.

pointydoug Fri 02-Oct-09 19:59:35

lol sausages.

Must admit, I've been going to sainsbury's a lot more often now wink

Katisha Fri 02-Oct-09 20:00:58

The definition of middle age is 15 years older than you.

ADifferentMe Fri 02-Oct-09 20:19:55

I do know what you mean but I think a lot of it is in the mind. I look back at photos from ten years ago and realise how good I looked, but presumably I'll be thinking the same thing about my current self in another ten years.

I think I need a lot more grooming now (at 47) - I can't get away with the natural look unless it's achieved with a lot of makeup.

The big eye opener for me was being told by a man in our village that I had beautiful legs, only to find out he was 94 shock.

I think men will notice women regardless of their age if they have a certain "something".

Toots Fri 02-Oct-09 20:26:11

Exactly ADifferentMe. I've always based my 'something' around being a bit cheeky, keeping an eye on my posture and having great haircuts. Am hoping it will keep a spring in my step.

OrmIrian Fri 02-Oct-09 20:27:34

Fuck! I feel more gorgeous than I ever did when I was younger.

Sadly the mirror and the camera are right bastards hmm

everlong Fri 02-Oct-09 20:28:36

I am 42 ( nearly, in a few weeks ) and was told by a dad at school yesterday that I looked ' wonderful '. Ok he is rather eccentric but it was still a sort of compliment.

Do not worry.

ADifferentMe Fri 02-Oct-09 20:31:22

Toots, for me it's my enormous knockers wink Bugger subtlety!

Orm - I remember your photo and you are gorgeous!

SausagesonFriday Fri 02-Oct-09 21:02:44

Time for a quick inventory of remaining body parts. Should I focus on:-

1. Cracked heels;
2. Thread veined legs; or
3. Saggy boobs

? grin

purplepeony Fri 02-Oct-09 22:29:52

you can do something about the first 2, but not the 3rd unless you go for surgery- or an underwired uplift bra.

Jajas Fri 02-Oct-09 22:34:58

Do you still have your own teeth grin!

KristinaM Sat 03-Oct-09 06:55:37

sausages -

heel balm

opaques

good underwired bra

sorted!

dollydoughnut Sun 04-Oct-09 00:22:04

I am 47 (and sometimes feel it)but honestly, because I had my four children in my 30's and was so busy during that time, it wasn't until I became 40 that I realised I was attractive to other men, confident in myself and had 'lived'.

I am happily married and, luckily, am able to work part-time so that I am there when the children come home from school.

I feel better now that I have ever felt. I have had more experiences (moving countries, city to country, etc) and, even though I regard myself as being shy, had more compliments from men and women now than I have ever had.

I really do think it is a state of mind. We can't do anything to hold back the ageing process but we CAN change our mindset into one that is positive. Just remember that we have experienced so much more than someone younger than us. I find that more interesting. If you make an effort to keep fit (in both mind and body) then getting older shouldn't be too daunting.

mwff Sun 04-Oct-09 00:40:15

stop defining yourself in terms of desirability to the opposite sex.

whether or not you're available/looking, not caring will help immensely.

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